What's wrong with my friends?

by Alan_56 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Alan_56

    I really can't stand it when I can't go to someones house just because they are "worldy". Why can't I just be a normal teenager and be able to choose my friends whom ever they may be? I told my mom I don't have any witness friends then she told me "Well you better find some or else your gonna have some serious problems". :/ *sighs* Why can't have a normal life as a teenager and be able to make friends that share similer interest as me other then the fact that we are in the same religion? I'm tired of being a JW!

  • OnTheWayOut

    It's tough being raised JW. It won't be a smooth road, but it gets better when you finally are able to determine your own path. You'll get great help on this forum.

  • VampireDCLXV

    Alan_56, I sympathise with you. I really do. BUT I must humbly point out that you are living in your parent's house. Their house, their rules.
    I was stuck living in my 'rents basment for far longer than anyone would care for and if I didn't want to end up kicked out and on my ear, I had to play by their rules no matter how much I hated it.
    The point is: you don't get to make your own rules until you're living in your own place, paying your own way. Make plans to do that ASAP. Okay? Hang in there...


  • wannabefree

    I am sorry Alan. I had a normal childhood and wish I could go back and let my kids have one too. I was doing what I thought was best for them at the time, as your parents no doubt believe they are doing for you.

    Hang in there. Maybe you can ask your parents about their childhood, their freinds, what they did. If they were raised as Witnesses it might get them to remember how tough it was for them, if they were'nt, perhaps they will remember being a worldly kid didn't make them wicked.

  • TheClarinetist
    Why can't have a normal life as a teenager and be able to make friends that share similer interest as me other then the fact that we are in the same religion?

    That's the nature of the JW religion... and a large part of why it is good to get out of it. You can find friends in all sorts of places, and hopefully they'll be understanding about the crazy parents... Just don't push your mother too much until you have an escape plan. If your parents think you're going south, there might (depending on the parents) be a good possibility of them kicking you out.

    Getting a car/job would help a lot... Though I got past that particular one by getting a girlfriend with a car and lying my butt off about everywhere I went. (Don't lie... It's bad)

  • Evidently Apostate
    Evidently Apostate

    hang in there alan your parents believe they are looking out for your best interest. would they allow you to have someone non jw over to meet them? if they feel they are supervising you maybe they would allow it. it might help them understand non jw kids are not the plague.

    there is nothing wrong with your friends.

  • wantstoleave

    Alan I can appreciate and sympathise with your situation. Mine was fairly similar, no JW friends, yet not allowed to associate with 'worldly' ones outside of school. Only now that I am much older do I not feel guilty associating with 'normal' friends that aren't witnesses. But while you are living with your parents, listen to them and show them respect because they are only doing what they think is right. When you're older, you can make your own decisions

  • jamiebowers

    You're 17. Do you have a job? If not, get one. Once you're working, save your money for a car or whatever else it's going to take for you to assert your independence at 18. Also busy yourself with planning and preparing for post high school education. I know the days drag when you're young and in "captivity", but your 18th birthday and/or graduation will be here before you know it if you stay busy. Then you'll have a greater level of independence.

    Good luck, and hang tough!

  • Alan_56

    Thanks for all of the feedback, I really appreciate it! Yes, I am currently looking for a job now so that I can support myself. I already have 300 in savings. Once again thank you for the comments:)

  • Heaven

    Hi Alan... Welcome to JWN!

    One way to meet friends is to join a group/club/organization that you're interested in. Maybe a sports club or a hobby of some sort. Like interests gives you a common ground to making some friends. Maybe join a group that would help you with a career you're interested in.

    Listen to jamiebowers. Getting a job when I was your age was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Another was to put a plan together for my career and once I was done high school, move away to attend post-secondary school. I got a job where I was super busy -- I've never had time for the cult.

    Hang tough. Once you're an adult, your life is yours. You are the architect of your life and no one can tell you how your life should be except you.

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