wow you guys are awesome! really!
so many good things were said that i dont know where to begin. after i posted that i was thinking 'darn i wish there was a delete button' because i thought everyone would think i was stupid for even 'thinking' such things after knowing the truth. so, thanks for not coming right out and saying i'm stupid (even if you were thinking it )
a lot of you mentioned that you have felt the same way and i really appreciate hearing that. when you think about it and look at all the facts and research the truth, which i have done a lot of recently, you wonder how you can possibly think what i posted. but even though my mind knows its not logical i still feel it. and apparently i'm not alone so thanks for letting me know that my feelings are valid, however ridiculous.
some mentioned going to a meeting or assembly and seeing if i really was able to live like that knowing what i know. thanks for those who mentioned that because just the feeling i get when i think about it is enought to answer that one. i cant even fathom sitting there and not jumping up and asking questions that they cant answer.
i was talking to a jw last night after i posted and was asking him some things that didnt make sense and he said that i shouldnt question things so much and that i just needed to have more faith in jehovah. my question to him was 'does it make sense to just blindy follow someone and believe anything you are told and never question it?' and believe it or not he had no long-winded drawn out answer. his reply was a simple "yes". that said all i needed to know at that point. i simply shared the scripture at 1John 4:1 with him and let it go at that.
i know there is no way i could or would ever want to go back. i dont know how i could even think for a second that having a few friends would be worth that. hope those thoughts dont ever come back, but if they do its good to know ya'll are here.
SYN, you mentioned an important word..HOPE. thanks for mentioning it. thats the one thing i have now that i never had before. you'd think that being a witness and having that paradise belief in your head that you would always have hope, but the truth is there are so many jw's that were just like me, thinking that i will never make it anyway so why do i bother. there is no real hope cause you can never live up to their rules to make it into their make-belive paradise anyway. just knowing that if there is a God he isnt hell bent on keeping me from being happy is enough to give me hope that maybe one day i will be.
Diamond and WoundedHeart, wow i'm really glad i didnt erase my post. it was worth the embarrasment just to hear that you were helped by the responses. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
wish i could thank you all one by one but a big group THANKS! will have to do.
you all really are great.
flower