"...the times we are living in..."

bez

So, just had one of our 'elders' ring to see how we are getting on and if we need any help etc.. when my hubby was honest and said we were ok and that we had decided to just move on with our lives and our family right now and concentrate on that and nothing else, but thanked him for their interest and care over last few months.... he replied by saying, ok, he would let the body of elders know this????, and he also reminded him to not forget "the times we are living in"...

My husband told me the conversation after coming off the phone and now i feel, after being on a high the last couple of weeks (despite coming off my anti-d's cold turkey, drs orders) , i feel now actually really crap, quite scared and once again like i am making a bad decision for my kids... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!

brotherdan

Nothing is wrong with you. They just were able to get to you using their guilt techniques. It's a sick thing. Your husband wants to take care of his family, and the body of elders need to know what?

Don't let them get you down. You are doing the right thing. This may be a blessing in disguise. Maybe they'll leave you alone for a while and you can work on getting you and your family healthy.

Emma

Brotherdan is right; there's nothing wrong with you. You've just been conditioned over the years to react this way. You are sane. You are acting in the best interest of your children and they will thank you just as mine have. Be strong, it's hard to break the chain of guilt they'll try to wrap you in.

LostGeneration

Hang in there....really think about the times we are living in, as they are better than ever before!

People live much longer, and have greater luxuries today. We work much less, think about 100 years ago, your husband would be working 10 to 12 hour days, usually six days a week.

People are more educated worldwide. Great medicines have been developed to save babies and children from dying at a young age.

Contrary to JW lies, horrific wars are not engulfing the world. Yes they are happening, but in comparison to world wars they are small and only in certain regions.

You also have to remember the media makes money on bad news, so that is usually all you see on TV, much to the delight of sick JWs

straightshooter

Your hubby handled this quite well. Remember the "the times we are living in"... is the message they give all the time to emphasize that the end is near and the world is so bad. But also remember that they have been saying this for years. Before I was baptized, 1975 was going to be when the end would occur. The end has always been thrown at one to make them feel guilty to do more in the organization.

The world is bad, but I am happy that I live today instead of back in Bible times. I was reading of faithful kings of Israel that lived after King David and that they normally died before their mid-50s. I have lived past that thanks to modern medical procedures. So I am glad I am living in today's system of things.

wasblind

here here, Lost generation

Sapphy

Lost generation has it exactly right.

"...remember the times we are living in..." is scary because of the implied, unsettling but unstated threat. Translate that phrase into what he actually meant. "... God is going to kill everyone who doesn't worship at the Kingdom Hall any minute now".

If you actually believed that you'd still be 'going along'. Try and laugh at it, and see it for what it is, - a play for control.

bez

Sapphy yes i agree absolutly, and that point did go through my head..just guilt was there too, but as everyone has said i have been conditioned to think this way, i was brought up a witness and have been the last 29 years so as i have said before its hard to shake the doom and gloom!

Emma, im interested to know if you were once in my situation, just with you saying that your kids thanked you for the choice you made.. did you leave when they were young?

Yesterday was a hard day, my little girl asked if her JW friend would be allowed a peice of her birthday cake, when i said i dont think so she sobbed into the couch, and when i asked her what was wrong she said, wont i ever see them again??!!! It makes me want to cry now just thinking about her little face...its not our choice its theres...I do know as i have said before that she will move on and adjust better than us but its still so sad that for the last near 8 years of her life her best 2 friends are JW's...no more

Guess it as just hard for me to see, as my friends too of 29 years or certainly the last 20 years are no longer friends of mine and thats not through any choice of mine.

Brotherdan..not sure exactly what the elders are needing to know...gues that we wont be going anymore...dunno why exactly they need to know that, should i now expect another phone call from perhaps the congregation overseer..i dont know what happens now.. i just know im wanting to live my life now, but dont want to be DF of DA myself as this obviously makes the whole situation with family more awkward?

LostGeneration

Bez remember a big part of cults is that they plant phobias into their members. They say over and over again 'the times we are living in' or 'where else would you go'

Then in the WT they follow that up with examples of people who get DFd, go out and take drugs and catch STDs then come running back to the WT with all of their regrets. What they dont tell you is that all along these ones are living out the phobias that have been implanted because they didn't actually deprogram themselves, they just wanted out of the religion but didnt know any other way of doing it! You have a huge leg up as you know exactly why you are leaving so its just a matter of replacing the phobias with rational thought...

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter...its hard to do but keep thinking about her long term future and how much better her life will be outside of the guilt inducing religion..

NiceDream

Sent you a PM

"...the times we are living in..."

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