Elder's message to me, on me being disfellowshipped tomorrow.

by whereami 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • zoiks

    Losing friends who think they're doing the "loving" thing can really hurt. Sorry for that. I hope that you and your wife can work things out for the best.

  • SnakesInTheTower


    congratulations on the beginning of the rest of your life.

    As to the realities of relationships... fortunately I met my fiancee after I left the JWs, so I do not have to deal with the issue you have with your hardcore JW wife. My JW mom is issue enough, so I do understand some of what you are facing. For some reason I have yet to be DF, though they have plenty on me (though I would love it if they would DF me for apostasy...the worst of the worst offenses in their eyes...LOL).

    I also understand life from that elder's point of view having been an elder until shortly before I left the organization. However, in my opinion....email has made it too simple to take the easy...and cowardly...way out of a friendship. An in person visit -- by himself, in blue jeans and a tshirt...not a suit and tie -- would have been more genuine. His email shows he is mind controlled by the cult. The fact that he sent that to you at all is surprising... it is going off the reservation. Once a decision to DF has been made by the elders, independent contact like that email is generally not acceptable to the Organization. Who knows, maybe there is doubt in that ones mind.

    Wish you the best with your wife...do not give up...there are many here who gained their hardcore JW mate.... I met a couple at the 08 Apostafest in Toronto where one was in and the other out for a long time? I forget who it was...thought the poster name started with a P....crap...I forget....

    Snakes (Rich )

  • sabastious

    I don’t know how you feel, but I want you to know that I love you no matter whatever happens.

    ^ This statement if for HIM not you. When it's all said and done he wants to make sure he's not acting like a cold hearted monster... "it's not like he doesn't LOVE you."

    It's psychological gymnastics and he needs this kind of pretzel logic to stay afloat in his JW life full of inconsistancies and logical fallacy.


  • Will Power
    Will Power

    If you love your wife - try waiting on Jehovah to show her the light, while making life with you the best there is.

    [email protected]#& the rest.


  • whereami

    I'd like to thank everyone for their kind and honest words. It helps to be able to air these things out with people who've had their share of battle scars with this crazy religion. Believe me, even though 30yrs is a long time too forget, I'm looking forward with this new chapter in MY life.

    Oh and by the way. For any of you that might be a closet apostate. Be careful with who sees your YouTube account. That's how they found out about me. Some goody two shoes that felt the need too save me, was spying on me and saw all the wicked apostate videos I had saved and subscribed too. That's what did me in. So this serves as a warning too all that think that the good old elders don't spy anymore and invade your privacy. You've been warned

    Thanks again everyone.

  • ruruj

    Look at the brighter side, at least you don't have to be hiding.

    Then you can openly express your views and opposition to Watchtower.

    Let us know how it goes.

    Your friend for a common cause.

  • VampireDCLXV

    Ah, the consequences of having swallowed the red pill...

    It's time to figure out how to live your life outside the matrix.

    (Quite a metaphore, isn't it?)

    Just remember one thing: the ones on the inside were never really friends. Friendships on the inside are just an illusion, just like the matrix itself.


  • nelly136

    thats the trouble with hire purchase friends, theyre never really yours to keep, they only last as long as the installments.

    wish you well with your new life

  • Farkel

    :Please allow Jehovah’s discipline to mold you and you’re way of thinking.

    Of course, there's a big lie in that statement. Jehovah had nothing to do with it. What he was really saying is "Jehovah made us spiritually execute you." Put in context, his statement was unbelievably arrogant, although I don't think he could possibly understand it that way, considering all the WT propaganda he's been drowning in for so long.

    Jesus never DFd anyone. Not even Judas.


  • babygirl30

    I'm sorry that you had to deal with such a blatant showing of 'unconditional love'. It's like being on Survivor Island, and you get voted off by the 'tribe' and one of your so-called friends you formed an alliance with says "Hey, yeah, I love you always will, but I'm voting you off the island - you gotta go!" I mean, what kind of rationale is that????

    It pretty ridiculous when you've been out awhile, and think back to the THINGS these 'blind' people say to you. When I had my announcement made, I had an elder pull me to the side AFTER the mtg to give me a hug and tell me he would miss me...another slipped me a note (on a time sheet) saying how much he knew I would be 'ok' and that this whole thing would be quick...and yet another walked me to my car and gave me a hug wishing me the best and said "I know you will find your way back". UGH! Whatever. It makes me laugh now cause it was all bull-ish. That kind of pity makes THEM feel better about their lack of true love - not YOU.

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