New elders' manual - a few more details

by sir82 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cook My Socks UK
    Cook My Socks UK

    Nah, surely the GB wouldn't search other Christian web sites on the internet - that's just wrong!

    On a different note, I just realized how cynical I am becoming - ur all bad assoc

  • yknot
    yknot (kudos and love to Anony-Brother!)

  • FreeAtLast1914

    Can't wait to get hold of the PDF of this one. I agree with many others, that the new term will allow the elders to cast an even wider net of infractions for the friends. "Brazen" might even include riding roller coasters (disrespect for life) and drinking more than one cup of coffee (early signs of addiction).

  • Palimpsest

    1.) Softcover - this is PERFECT!! An Elder shouldn't have a hardcover of the elder's manual, as it's too rigid to carry around all the time in your coat pocket, etc. But a soft cover edition - you can keep that on yourself practically all the time!!! It's flexible, and with it being soft it's like a quick mini-reference with all of the hand-written direction in it.

    Remember those miniature "pocket" NWTs that were all the rage at one point? Maybe they should do the same with the manual!

    My grandmother used to call me "brazen" whenever I did something "bad," like changing the channel while she was watching "The Price Is Right" or combing my hand through my hair after she'd brushed it. I have a feeling that most "brazen conduct" offenses will be roughly equivalent to those in terms of legitimate sinfulness.

    Also, does anyone else ever secretly wish they would release a few "decoy" additions to suspected apostate spy elders? Or that they somehow had a way to trace leaked copies back to the elders that shared them? Not that I actually want these good elders to get in trouble, mind you -- I just think it would be hilarious if they were to fully go James Bond instead of merely pretending like they currently do. Come on, GB, commit already! It's like they want so very badly to be a secret society, but they're too stupid to pull it off properly.

  • processor

    The September 16 1991 BOE (that is to be destroyed according to the new one) already contained the same instructions regarding the old book.

    So, since both letters are to be destroyed and even deleted from the index, there won't be any proof anymore that this instruction ever existed ...

  • VM44

    "The information is desgiend for use by the elders only, and other individuals should not have any opportunity to read the information."

    And the Jehovah's Witnesses claim not to have a "clergy" class??!!!

  • Bangalore

    Thanks for the info.


  • Bonnie_Clyde

    My father's elder's manual was always easily accessible. It sat in his bookbag right next to his chair. Now that he's deceased, I have the bookbag along with his manual with all the marginal notes. No elder has every asked me for the manual back, but I wouldn't have given it to them if they had.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    One thing is for sure...

    the change from 'loose' to 'brazen' has nothing to do with more correct translation of the greek

    and everything to do with control.


  • Mary

    Here's the entire letter. I've 'readjusted' it to what it's really saying:


    Re: Kingdom Ministry School

    Dear Brothers:

    Final arrangements are being made for the upcoming Kingdom Kingdumb Misery School Ministry School and we are now pleased to provide you with some Noo Light that we got while smoking some crack cocaine in the Bored-Room the other day additional information and direction. A revised, softcover textbook entitled Shepherding For Dummies "Shepherd the Flock of God" has been prepared in connection with the school. In addition, Photo ID lapel cards are being provided for elders and ministerial servants to make sure no 'Postates can get in for use as identification upon entry at the school location and during the course. The appropriate number of textbooks will be shipped to the mailing address of the coordinator of the body of elders when the textbooks become available in the language of the congregation. The lapel cards will be shipped to the same address at a later date. Copies of the textbook that were requested in languages other than the language of the congregation will be sent to the circuit overseer for distribution.

    The Chief Goomba coordinator of the body of elders should immediately give each elder a copy of the Shepherding textbook. However, the lapel cards should be kept hidden in the ground with 4 guards posted around the location, not that we're paranoid or anything in a safe place until the week before the school. Then he should give the appropriate card to each elder and ministerial servant. This may prevent cards from being lost and stolen by those damn apostates which every congregation has. The lapel card should be worn when entering the school location and at all times during the school kinda like the ID badges the Jews had to wear in the late 1930s. We will leave it to each elder to decide what he will do with his 1991 Kingdom Ministry School textbook. If he decides to keep the book. he must make sure it is put in a secure place so that others do not have access to it, not that we've got anything to hide. Otherwise, the book should be completely destroyed, kinda like this if necessary:


    We would like to emphasize the importance of keeping these new textbooks secured and confidential, both before and after they are distributed. Forget the fact that Jesus would have never had any 'secret rules' privy only to a few select first century Jews, we're just terrified that this is going to end up on the internet (again) and make mincemeat out of our already tattered reputation. The textbooks should not be left on tops of desks or in other places where they are easily accessible by family members or other individuals. The information is designed for use by the elders only, and other individuals should not have any opportunity to read the information. We don't want to see this end up on JWN!!!!

    If an elder has moved away and you have an extra textbook or lapel card. or for some other reason you have extra textbooks or lapel cards. the coordinator of the body of elders should hand-deliver them to the circuit overseer. He should not send textbooks or lapel cards through the mail. If your circuit overseer is a considerable distance away, the coordinator of the body of elders may give him these items the next time he sees the circuit overseer. Likewise, if for some reason you do not receive enough textbooks or lapel cards. the coordinator of the body of elders should contact the circuit overseer for assistance. blah, blah, blah......

    We are providing the textbooks to elders in advance so that you will be able to read the book through before attending the school. You will want to concentrate particularl y on chapters 1, 2, 4-7,9, and II, since they will be considered spec ifica lly at the school. In addition to your Shepherding textbook. please remember to bring your Bible. Organized to Do Jehovah 's Will, Benefit From Theocratic Ministry School Education. and some note paper. In the Organized book, you should review chapters 3 and 7. along with pages 117- 119. In the Minislry School book, you should review pages 47-55, 130, and 265-27. Please advise ministerial. servants that in addition to their Bible and note paper, they should bring their Organized and Ministry School books. They should review the same material in the Ministry School book as the elders, and in the Organized book, they should review chapters 6-8, along with pages I 17-119.

    You will note in chapter 5, paragraph 9, of the Shepherding textbook that a change in terminology is being introduced. A new term, "brazen conduct," will be used in addition to " loose conduct," or in some cases instead of "loose conduct." This new term has been chosen by the Slobbering Buddy Mumblers Governing Body because it gives us far more power over the rank and file than what "loose conduct" does which means we can disfellowship anyone for anything at anytime more accurately conveys the thought of the original Greek word that is translated "loose conduct" in the New World Translation.

    der F├╝hrer The Governing Body desires that the local Gestapo elders and Nazi Wannabees ministerial servants in each congregation attend the school at the same time. However, if an appointed elder or ministerial servant is not able to attend with the elders and ministerial servants of his congregation because of extenuating circumstances, he can contact his circuit overseer for the dates and locations of schools in neigh boring circuits. The dark lords circuit overseer will then contact the Dementors of Azkaban neighboring circuit overseer and request permission for the brother to attend. The brother's coordinator of the body of elders should provide him with a lapel card. If he attends the school before other elders or ministerial servants in his congregation, he should be instructed to keep the information strictly confidential until after the other brothers from his congregation have attended.

    We can't wait to start throwing our mighty gavel around even more are looking forward to getting rid of anyone who dares question our authority this special program of instruction, and we pray for the day when we can once again, stone apostates to death Jehovah's rich blessing upon all the arrangements being made for the Kingdumb Misery School Kingdom Ministry School and upon your efforts to come down like a ton of bricks on any hint of 'independent thinking' shepherd the flock in a fine way. Although there is much material to prepare before attending the school, the most important thing to prepare is your heart. (Ezra 7:10) If you do so, we'll let you keep your position of authority until such a time as you piss us off Jehovah will truly bless your diligent efforts. So Let It Be Written, So Let It Be Done Please be assured of our warm love and Christian greetings.

    Heil Hitler

    Your brothers,

    cc: Traveling overseers

    PS to secretary:
    Ther.e. is no need for this letter to be retained in the congregation permanent file of policy
    letters. Additionally the September 16, 1991, and June 20, 1994, letters to all bodies of elders
    should be removed from the congregation file and be destroyed. You may wish to update the
    congregation copy of Index to Letters-For Bodies of Elders (S-22) at this time as well.

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