Depressed/overwhelmed has worked for me some but everyone knows the true reason is the child molesters in the hall and my strong stand.
I kept trying to do both and I guess in a ways I still am but I have stopped going to meetings. Flipper and so many here are right, when you go to the meetings it really brings you down, or I should say it does me.
You are so right all you will ever find is judgment and criticism at any hall you go to. My husband has tried to tell me it is just the hall we are in at this time and I remind him of all the halls we have been in and how it is always the same, the same hatefulness. Then he says well they were just a strange group of people in that hall or the elders in that hall were not handing things right, on and on. I bought it at first but no it is the religion it is not the hall. I have been in a total of six halls in my life as a pioneer, elders wife, while being at Bethel. All the halls had major problems. All of them including the one while I was at Bethel. I could go on and on with the stories of hate and hurtfulness that I have seen not only toward me but others. I have seen the pain of many people trying to stay in this religion. You just cannot do it and not go crazy. I know of one young woman who just killed herself a month ago.
I truly feel you have to leave to keep sane. My last meeting was three weeks ago tomorrow. I am still recovering from it, I went for the CO's visit with one last hope that the elders would truly try to stop the child molesters. It will never happen. I mean nothing to them, children mean nothing to them, no one who has a good heart means anything to this religion. You just have to get out.
Hope you understand what I mean.