I have been testing the waters with a fade. Waiting to see the reaction. My friends and family still talk to me, although I haven't been to meeting since November of last year. I have been very careful about what I say, if anything and for the most part am not questioned. My mom did talk to me the other day, and just told her I don't feel like I fit in, and never have and that I'm having trouble with crowds in small spaces where I know a lot of people. (anxiety) It is true.
But the other day, my friend made a comment that she was going to get me to go back - no matter what. On the one hand - I don't want to go back, ever. But on the other hand, being "out" as a doubter would cause problems with me and my family I just don't want to risk.
Unless someone has a good strategy for talking my way out of it, I think I'm giving up and just going back. I'm not sure how I can stomach the material because it is so narrow in scope - so any suggestions are welcome.