Ideas on how to break the news to my old best friend that I do not believe anymore

by life is to short 21 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Sorry I am so late in responding to all the posts. I have been working a ton and just got a chance to check in.

    Thank you so much for all of your words of encouragement I am so amazed at everyones kindness and helpfulness. I do agree that she is truly not a friend now because she will not look at the truth about the so called "truth". It is like loosing a family member but really that is her choose. I have decided to go but I told her that I can only spend a couple of days with her. So at least is is not the whole time being spent with her. I really just want time with my husband and I alone to work on our marriage as it has suffered so much from all of this.

    The funny thing is after my friend called her niece a murderer and she emailed me this stupid email about her niece, I sent back two seething emails about my experience with the elders here the baby rapists and how the elders are doing nothing to stop the baby rapists even allowing them to hold babies. I told her that there is no way her niece was a murderer that the JW she forgave, the one who raped her niece, had killed her a long time ago before she finally took her own life. I ran one email by Mrs. Flipper and she thought it was good and that it told my friend very clearly where I stood. Not a word from my friend about my emails expect that she said I must be able to know the thinking of her niece when she killed herself. I just do not get it, I was kind of hoping that my email would make her mad or at the very least think but no she has just ignored it really. I just love how JW's can walk away from the real world so well.

    I think everyone who responded gave me good advice thank you so much and I plan to go though and think about what each of you said and use it when I am with her. This has been a tough road and I am so thankful to have found this board to help me with this journey. Thank you all so much


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I tend to agree with those who said to go and have a good final visit with your old friend. She is that.

    At some point, the 'truth' will become an issue - I don't know how it could be avoided. So take a copy of CoC along, and when it comes up, say "Look, I don't want to spoil our time together. Can we have a very serious discussion on ________, a couple days before we leave?" Don't say anything else until that point if you can avoid it. Just enjoy your friendship one last time.

    The discussion will probably end your friendship - but who knows? It is lost anyway if she stays a Jw and you not. And perhaps she will read Ray's book. You might be surprised how it will end up, though the ending is predictable a majority of the time.

    Smile and enjoy your trip. As CJ said, take some pictures, perhaps one of you all together enjoying good times, something you can frame and hang on the wall - keeping the Good times.

    Show them that you know how to laugh and love, that you are not an evil person. Your actions will speak louder than words - even the word apostate that she might wish to attach to you. It will be more difficult to attach if you handle it with dignity and kindness and love of life.

    Peace to you - I hope it all works to the best in the end.


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