It would be fine with me...

by Gregor 33 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • wasblind

    I wonder If Gregor is ill, because his post is listed under medical.

    i hope he's able to let us know something. i hope he's alright

  • Gregor

    I am truly touched by your replies. Thank you all. This negative feeling has come over me because I have been blindsided by a confluence of events.

    We have been looking forward to all the new grandbabies due this summer. My wife is retiring this month. Happy, happy. New g babes and more time to enjoy them.

    Then our 37 yr old son (father of new grandbaby boy) decides to go into a manic bi-polar episode right in the middle of everything. He has done this on and off for sixteen years and I hate him for letting it happen again because he knows it is preventable if he would stay on his med. I take a goddamn bloodpressure pill every morning of my life. But he puts his entire family through hell because he seems to enjoy his god like manic trips and complains about the side effects (bullshit) of depakote. This time I put my foot down. Either get with the program or I am done with you. This means DIL and 3 beautiful G children. It has washed all the joy out of my life and left me angry. My wife wants to continue to mollycoddle. I told her we are done if she does not stand with me. After 46 yrs of marriage I am mentally prepared to say fuck the whole thing and take a long nap.

    As of today he swears he is on the med and will stay with it. He'd better or I will be making some very painful decisions that will cut me off from my grandchildren and maybe my wife of 46 yrs.

  • jamiebowers

    Gregor, I was just telling my husband about your no nonsense attitude his morning. He appreciated it, because he is very much the same. So let me tell you what I am constantly telling him; you are the only person you can control. Cutting family out of your life is almost always a mistake. I don't know why your son failed to take his meds...maybe they make him sleepy when he wanted to be alert for the baby's birth...maybe he really forgot to take them in all of the excitement...or maybe he does enjoy his "god like manic trips". But one thing is certain. If you cut off your family, no one will ever be happy again.

    Please get some rest, and forgive him for your sake. If the natural progression of things applies to your family, you will pass before your kids and way before your grandkids. Don't make them lose you any sooner than they have to. If your role in your family is anything like that of my husband's in our family, you are heavily relied upon...usually too much. But that's all the more reason for you to stick around.

  • tec


    There is nothing I could possibly add to that.


  • wasblind

    Just glad to hear from you.

    And like Darkside said : ..."If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back."

    that's true. keep your head up

  • journey-on

    ((((((Gregor))))))) I have been off this board for a few weeks, but this morning I checked in and saw your post and had to respond. You are one of the posters here that I have a great deal of admiration for. I don't know you personally, but I see you as a man's man...the kind of person that brings stability, honor, and strength to a family...a true patriarch.

    I hope your stalwart no-nonsense approach shakes some sense into your son and gives your wife pause. But moms love so-o-o unconditionally, it's sometimes difficult for them to be harsh. You have to be the tough one, and even though it gets tiring, thank goodness they have you to lead. Hang in there, my friend.

  • moshe

    I was married to a bipolar lady for about one year- 3 months great, 3 months getting no-so good and six months of hell. My kids (11 & 13) set her off when they visited me for the summer. Her kids new what not to do to keep mom level mood and my kids, made the big mistake of using her special guest towels, among many other infractions. I threw the towel in myself, after a year as I could see only a lifetime of jumping though hoops to keep her level mood. She hated her meds, too and cut the dosage in half, which did no good at all. Gregor, there does come a time when a man has had enough. Good luck.

  • shamus100


    Speaking from experience, I gave some of my family the same ultimatum. It worked for me, but the circumstances were quite different (drug addiction). I understand where you are coming from, to a point, and why you have arrived at your ultimatum.

    You don't deserve to have to deal with this crap - especially when your life is supposed to be winding down and relaxing. I hope things improve, and you can get some rest. I also hope that there is a friend closeby you can talk to in person to work this out, or at least vent.

    I will never for the life of me understand why people with mental problems refuse to take their medication - perhaps someone who is bipolar and has this problem can fill us in. What I'm trying to say is your son's refusal to take medication is typical.

  • ziddina

    Hmm. Both of my parents were bi-polar - though I prefer the older term, "Manic-Depressive", as it conveys the trauma of the condition - or of living near someone with that condition - much more accurately...

    Having said that, I am also probably bi-polar. Have never been diagnosed, but then I tend to avoid doctors like the plague, anyway...

    I have had drastic mood swings throughout most of my life. They weren't noticeable when I was in my parents' household, hostage to the crazies, but when I left, I was like a coiled spring, releasing much of the trauma and stress I'd built up over the decades of being a JW/child of Manic Depressives/other crap I will describe sometime when I post my full story...

    Personally, I found that certain foods set me off - and wouldn't you know it, I was addicted to those foods. Refined sugar topped the list, followed by corn, potatoes, rice, and wheat - all in their refined versions, that is...

    I have no problems with the actual tubers/grains, if they aren't refined... (Well, potatoes can give me gas... )

    I eventually ran into another woman around my age (in my 30's at the time) who also had bi-polar disorder... She explained that she was taking medication for the ailment, and complained about the foods that she couldn't eat...


    (Refined sugars, white flours, potato chips/popcorn/wheat snacks, cakes, cookies, ice cream, coffee, alcohol, etc...)

    Which really made me wonder - was it the medication, or the forced improvement of her diet, that actually had a positive effect???

    Also, vitamin therapy can help. I've always had a crying need for calcium, vitamin C and zinc. Coincidentally, these are the major nutrients needed by women of child-bearing age - large doses of these nutrients are said to negate the effects of PMS and painful menstrual cramping, which I also suffered from...

    I've never been on medication, but have found some relief in using vitamins and nutritional therapy, plus (attempting...) to stay away from unhealthy foods...

    But I suspect my poor husband - the current one, #2 - would have been happier if I'd been on meds, too...



    Good Morning Gregor..

    No one should have to put up with preventable bullshit..It`s too dam wearing..

    You put your foot down..Good for you..

    It`s time to put an end to childish behaviour..

    I had a few beers for you last night..I feel much better..

    ...................... ...OUTLAW

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