I Have The Baby/Those Are Some Stealthy JWs/Apparently Mama Is Going To Hell

by Confuzzled 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  Confuzzled

  Just a update for anyone who's interested:

  So I had the baby at the end of June, he is a healthy, albeit large, baby boy, and prehaps the only man I may ever truly love. The dubby one foot in the other out BF has been an amazing help and is totally and completely in love with his son. (yes, there was eye rolling at the three times I had to sign for permission for blood transfusion at the birth)

  So with the birth, I FINALLY get to meet the family. I hit it off with his sister and a sis-in-law. Amazingly nice women. Really sweet. They love my son and made me feel really welcome in this large family, with it's own rules, and expectations. Wouldn't hesitate to leave my son with them to go to the store or something. After a few family functions, riding home, BF says, "So you really hit it off with Sister and Sister-In-Law, huh?" Me: "For as much as I know them, yeah. Very nice. They made me feel the most welcome." Him: "HA! They are both baptised and devout Jws! Ain't that hilarious?" Me: "They didn't discuss the cult with me at all, I'd like to keep it that way, you should warn them I'm a "stumbler". To which followed an argument about how he'll take the baby to the hall when he's old enough, how my dad is pissed about the lack of a christening (i'm getting it done, i don't care), the usual "Over my dead body will my son be a drone", ect, ect, ect. It was sad because it's been months since we've had an argument about it, it's come up, but no real arguments. As far as the family goes, I immediately knew who most of the Jeh-hoobie praising ones were, the most ramrod didn't like me from the jump (i.e. My son is his father's clone, but the sister showed no interest in the baby, or holding him, and said he didn't Look anything like BF. There are floating rumors about BF, and sterilty, and if my son is really his.). I just hope he didn't send the other sister and sister in law to purposely love bomb me.

  So couple days later he asked me to read a letter he was sending to a brother who in polite company one would describe as being "away" to tell him what I thought. Some where at the end of the letter was a diatribe about how Mama had fallen away from the bright light of Jahoover and how he feels there is no coming back....I closed the laptop.

  I think I'm heading into round three with this. The sad thing is our relationship, for as much as it's worth, is improving because of the time we are spending together. We are appreciating each other more. Sorry about punctuation. Juggling newborn, bottle, and trying to type is difficult.
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  BabaYaga

  Congratulations on the new little human in your life!

  Strength and wisdom in dealing with everything else. There is no easy answer.

  Love,
  Baba.
• 

  yknot

  

  You are your son's custodial parent, raise him as you see fit!

  Make a big to-do about his Christening too!

  Take pictures, send out greeting cards!

  Bestow all the customs and traditions of your upbringing. Explain your beliefs from a very early age, explain why daddy's religion doesn't agree too.

  His father has the same rights...... however as the child's mother you will be the one to make the biggest impression!

  If BF don't like it, counter back that you feel the same about his religious opinions and traditions but you accept that your child will be exposed one way or another.........maybe stick in the pew report statistics just for good measure reminding BF chances are he too won't be a JW when the boy is older!

  (and don't be afraid to point out he can't act all uber righteous just when it fits his mood.)

  Congrats sweety, you enjoy that bundle of joy everyday of his precious life.... time flys by faster than you realize!
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  GLTirebiter

  Congratulations! Raise your son as well as you can, that's all anyone can ask.

  Good luck to you,

  GLT
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  Witness 007

  Congrats!! You said your baby is "the only man you will ever trully love".........what about your BF????
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  blondie

  Congratulations!
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  garyneal

  Good to see you again though I must say I have not been following your posts of late.

  Yeah, my witness in-laws are a friendly bunch as are the witnesses at my wife's cong. I just smile and be friendly back. I may be birdfood to them but at least I feel like I am being a good Christian in response. I don't know and at this point in my life, I really don't care.

  As far as your being a stumbler, yeah, I'm pretty convinced that I am bad associations to every JW because I know the truth about the 'truth.'

  As far as my wife is concerned, I think she thinks that my daughter and I may not make it into the new system with her. I think it is that pesky church that my daughter and I go to every Sunday that has her concerned. I see you're bf is not too happy with you introducing your beliefs either.

  It's nice to see that things got better between you two but I am a bit confused. I went back and read your original post and recall you weren't sure about staying with him. Has that changed? Are you hoping that one day you two will get married? I'm sorry if you posted this somewhere before but I was curious.

  Congrats, by the way. We are also expecting another child in September.
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  mrsjones5

  Congratulations on your bouncing baby boy!
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  jamiebowers

  Congrats on the birth of your baby!

  I immediately knew who most of the Jeh-hoobie praising ones were, the most ramrod didn't like me from the jump (i.e. My son is his father's clone, but the sister showed no interest in the baby, or holding him, and said he didn't Look anything like BF. There are floating rumors about BF, and sterilty, and if my son is really his.). I just hope he didn't send the other sister and sister in law to purposely love bomb me.

  There is such a thing as a DNA test to prove what you know as fact to the doubters. And yes, you were love bombed. Make no mistake about it, your baby is the next jw generation as far as they are concerned.

  So couple days later he asked me to read a letter he was sending to a brother who in polite company one would describe as being "away" to tell him what I thought. Some where at the end of the letter was a diatribe about how Mama had fallen away from the bright light of Jahoover and how he feels there is no coming back....I closed the laptop.

  I don't understand this. Is the brother his brother or a fellow jw, and where is he? Are you the "mama who fell away from the bright light of Jahoover"? It seems to me, your bf is the only one who "fell away", since you weren't raised a jw.
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  Confuzzled

  @Yknot thank you! That's the thing, our christenings are normally a big to-do with a party and all...My dad's whole argument is what could it hurt, and he's right. If we are wrong we are going to have my eyes pecked out any way, right? BF changed tactics and said why don't we let him choose when he's older, to which i said, what if your wrong, and I'm right, and I neglect my duty? He then pointed out that how can an infant understand, and I tried to explain getting confirmed....It's a circle. I plan on instilling a foundation of beliefs in him early. My daughter is 9 and we haven't been regular church goers for years but she has a basic christian concept of God.

  @Witness 007 and Garyneal My son may really be the only man I ever love. I have a warped relationship with his father. Somewhere between soulmate, best friend, and worst enemy, throw some sex, and co-dependency in for good measure. I'm still to hormonal and trying to figure things out to think about completely shedding him. The waters are pretty calm so I'm staying in the boat until I can completely figure things out. Yes I have been putting it off for awhile, but being pregnant, and now with a newborn, also recovering from surgery is not the time to make major life decisions. Not that I want to go into this, but I suffer from depression and anxiety, and I've finally decided to get some counseling for myself, so maybe it will help me out. Would I marry him? Right now, hell-the-f*ck-no! After HE recieves intensive therapy for his non-witness related issues, and becomes a completely different person, and actually wants to marry me for me and not for duty.....maybe. I'm telling you him being a witness is just the rainbow sprinkles on the f*ckery I've had to deal with. @ garyneal congrats on the new bundle! I wish you nights of endless sleep and lower formula prices!

  @jamiebowers I don't need a DNA test. I have nothing to justify to anyone. I can count on less then one hand how many men I've slept with, and the rumors of a jealous ex and some nosey relatives aren't going to make me spend my money on a test that I don't need. As far as the love bombing, it's a shame because they seem really genuine. Maybe they are in their warped way. As far as the letter goes, he was writing to his brother in jail, and it's their mom who is going to hell. I posted a lengthy thread about it awhile ago. She's turned away from the org.