Evidence that God hates cats

by SweetBabyCheezits 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • PrimateDave


    For some reason I thought this image fit the topic description...

  • brotherdan

    It's easy to condemn anything using Watchtower tactics. Let's demonize...I don't know...CATS! Yeah! Cats are bad, now!!



    Many conscientious ones among Jehovah’s people today have wondered if Christians should own cats. The issue is of life-or-death importance since to stumble a brother that Christ died for is tantamount to "putting a millstone around the neck & being thrown into the sea". Clearly our eternal salvation is involved. First let us consider what most scholars agree is the original Greek for the English word cat. Felos domesticus meaning literally "a contemporary housecat with all of its beastly identifying characteristics & behavior." Clearly the Bible by using this kind of Original Greek shows beyond a doubt that the basic nature of cats is evil or "beastlike" much like Satan the "Original Serpent" & "the Great Dragon". There are numerous reasons why a Loyal Dedicated Servant of God should use their Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why Cats are not for Christians. Consider the following facts with an open mind:

    1) It was a common practice in ancient Egypt to worship cats as gods. As Christians we are to "guard ourselves from idols" and "worship no other gods". Such feline influence could lead to idolatry and thereby "grieve Jehovah’s spirit" with tragic consequences.

    2) Cats were most likely present at Herod’s birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence remembering "bad associations spoil useful habits"? To invite cats in our house may result in the same grave consequences as suffered by John the Baptist. Clearly, God disapproved of this party. Should we not then disapprove of cats the way God does? Surely!

    3) Throughout history, particularly in the middle ages and reaching its climax in the Salem Witch Trials of the 1600’s, cats were recognized as carriers if not direct incarnates of demons. Since cats were associated with the devil could we as loyal and dedicated servants of God therefore associate with cats and thereby associate with Satan himself the "god of this system of things"? Would we want to be subject to such vile influence and possible demonic attacks? Surely not!

    4) Nowhere in the Bible are any types of cats spoken of in favorable terms. In fact was it not lions of the first century that the Devil used to devour faithful Christians? God Himself "Stopped up the mouths of lions" in Daniel’s day. True, the small housecats of today are not lions, but being of the same cursed animal family used by Satan, the Devil, on numerous occasions throughout history, would it be wise or appropriate to own one? In addition, by owning any type of cat, would we not give an appearance of condoning their evil deeds throughout recorded Bible and secular history. The Bible makes clear that God’s people are "no part of the world" and that we are "not to share in the sins of others".

    5) The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, the Apostles, nor Jesus Himself owned a cat. This was most likely because they didn’t want to be like the Pagan contemporaries of their day who showed no regard for how God feels about owning cats. In harmony with the pattern set by the faithful prophets of old, surely it would not be fitting for a Christian today to own a cat.

    6) Finally, cats are unclean animals. Some unclean practices indulged in by cats include coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas, urinating on the floor, eating dead animals with their blood, sexual misconduct without the benefit of marriage, abuse of catnip, and stealing food from the table, just to name a few. Uncleanness is one of the "works of the flesh" condemned by the apostle Paul. The Bible clearly shows that "neither fornicators …or thieves will not inherit the Kingdom". In addition Paul admonishes us to "quit mixing in company" with such unclean ones. Although the Apostle Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this Inspired Biblical principle can not be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt that Loyal Christians must avoid all association with such animals.

    Are we not grateful for this new light coming from God’s organization? Sister Catless tells us that since getting rid of her cat she has not had to be preoccupied with cleaning the litter box and now has a lot more time to go pioneering. Brother Bobcat puts it this way, "I’m so grateful that God freed me of the burden of owning a cat. I hope all of the brothers will realize how the devil uses cats to corrupt us and distract from the preaching work." (Matt 24:14) What fine examples of faithfulness! As loyal followers of Christ’s thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit through the "Faithful and discreet slave".

    Let us all be wary of cats and WT reasoning.

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    Haha... these comments are hilarious and, yet.... an unfortunate reality.

    I love how the Society taught us to balk at the teaching of hell as being incongruent with a loving god. Do they think their illustrations of Armageddon are warm and fuzzy?

    Oh, but the violent demise of billions of living creatures - women, children, and belligerent pets, notwithstanding - is part of God's purpose. Tetragrammaton is the epitome of love!

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    Great day in the morning! BrotherDan, I am in no way exaggerating when I say that my mom called earlier this week and asked if we would be interested in taking the kitten that THEY JUST ADOPTED because she wanted to 'simplify so as to focus on pioneering'. I swear I am not making that up. [exaggerations /on] I'll bet she's thinking, "Well, let's see: Our son and his family are going to die at the big A. Cats are going to die, too.... Might as well send them down together."

    FTR, my parents are retired empty-nesters and have very few hobbies outside of bible-thumping. You would think that a simple pet might be therapeutic for them. And maybe it would be if it weren't a four-legged spawn of Satan.

  • ambersun

    I'm now on a mission to save cats. I will be reciting scriptures to every moggy I pass in the street, for even if I reach one puss with a receptive heart it will be worth all the effort.

    Dogs, being slightly less satanic than the average moggy, will simply be trained to bark in a manner that sounds like 'Jah'. That should help save a few, hopefully.

  • inkling

    More like evidence that the WT hates little kids.

    How freaking traumatizing is this shit?
    How the fraking frak did we study stuff like this all the time, and then get lectured for watching "violent cartoons"?

    God "hates a man loving violence"? Well God had better be pretty self loathing, because he is a right violent bastard.


  • elderelite


    That is the funniest thing I have read all day. thank you for the smile!

  • brotherdan

    I challenge anyone to write an article like the "Cat" one I just posted. Lets pick a totally innocent subject. Maybe "Cars", or "Computers" or "Wine" or "Shoes".

    I think it's a good way to show that if you use the right "key words" and circular logic, you can turn demonize absolutely ANYTHING!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Welcome to the board, brotherdan. sd-7 is a master at writing in PseudoDub. You two should contact each other and collaborate on a spoof magazine like the Witchtower. Or find the Witchtower people and contribute stuff to their mag.

  • goldensky

    Hey, SweetBabyCheezits, how did you manage to get your photo as your avatar (I take it it's you)? I've been trying to do that for months without success! By the way, it's nice to put a face to your name.

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