Parents who can't see the truth about their kids

by MMXIV 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  MMXIV

  Just discovered that my nephew, whose parents are both dubs is the school bully. He was sent home for beating a kid up, he was also caught trying to steel a bike from a boy half his size. Apparently it's because his teachers are "useless" and "he has to bully in case he becomes a victim". Previously he was expelled from nursery which was explained away as they had something against witnesses.

  He doesn't go to a bad school and doesn't live in a bad area so this is unusual behaviour. He hasn't been exposed to violent video games or TV but has been brought up badly.

  What annoys me is that his parents / grandparents are in denial - well maybe they know but just make excuses.

  The latest I've heard is he's "intelligent". Hmmmm so intelligent he won't do anything he's told, very disruptive, rude and throws tantrums for any reason.

  Anyone else known parents unwilling to accept the truth about their kids?

  MMXIV
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  tec

  Kids aren't bullies because they're bad. Bullying comes from many reasons, but low self-esteem is always in there somewhere. If there isn't a problem at school then there's a problem at home.

  Not that knowing the reasons behind his bullying means that his behavior should not be corrected. Burying their heads in the sand is not helping their son. But I can guarantee that being a JW and being excluded from many things is working a number on this kid.

  Tammy
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  Scarred for life

  I agree with Tammy. Low self-esteem. Anger. Frustration with the realization that his religious teachings are all lies. And realizing that his parents have been lying to him all his life.

  He my very well be very intelligent with tons of potential for doing good. These problems are emotional.

  Being a JW and being excluded from many of his peers' activities could absolutely contribute to this behavior.
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  MMXIV

  He's 7. Doesn't enjoy meetings. Dad who'd scream at him all the time - the kind of screaming that would make an adult scared.

  The dad used to condemn any parent whose child misbehaved - once said "my child won't ever behave like that".
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  Scarred for life

  The kid has many, many strikes against him. Perhaps Child Protective Services should be notified. And I can remember certain teachings of the JWs not making any sense to me even at the age of 7. For example the teaching that all who were not JWs were going to die at Armageddon including all our neighbors, my teacher, my non-JW grandparents. You think that wasn't upsetting?
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  JeffT

  Dad who'd scream at him all the time - the kind of screaming that would make an adult scared.

  Bingo! As I was reading the OP I was thinking "I bet this kid is getting hit at home." Then the above was added. He's been taught that yelling (and very probably hitting) are the way to impose your will on those around you. Unfortunately lots of dub kids are raised in seriously disfunctional homes. Until Mom and Dad get some counseling from somebody with a real education things are not going to get better.
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  Scarred for life

  The Department of Family and Children's Services in your County would provide education, but a report has to be made.
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  White Dove

  Sons tend to imitate their fathers or other males they look up to or crave acceptance from, whether in good ways or in bad ways.

  This kid needs intervention like crazy!

  It may prevent him from shooting up his school, since this is where school shooters come from.
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  wasblind

  Tell it Tammy ,tell it!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  tec

  I can only tell it because I'm living it. Which is a pretty bad thing, actually. But I'm not burying my head in the sand any longer. And I'm not letting my husband bury his anymore, either.

  Tammy