Loving your beutiful children

by jambon1 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • crapola
    crapola

    I feel exactly the same way. And what always bothered me was the fact that a supposedly loving god would even expect that of us.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Jambon your post is lovely to read. I'm glad you have left the Org before it had a chance to rob you of your children. I wish I had.

    Loz x

  • Hopscotch
    Hopscotch

    Thank you for this wonderful post jambon1.

    Reading through it while still dealing with the incredible pain of being totally shunned by my father and brother and sister for the last 18 months made it even more meaningful for me.

    I am so glad for you that you left when you did and that your children will grow up with your unconditional love always.

    All the best

    Hopscotch

  • dinah
    dinah

    What a beautiful thread!!

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    This issue was the beginning of the end for me, too.

    When my son was 18, he told his father and I that he no longer wanted to go to the meetings. His father immediately kicked him out of the house. I remember it was the Friday of the CO Visit. My heart broke that night, the terrible gut-wrenching sobs that you never really recover from.

    I was forbidden tohave anything to do with him, or to help him make his way in the world. But I disobeyed. I kept in touch with him against his father's wishes, gave him money, a job and the things he needed - dishes, sheets, towels, etc.

    The people my son had grown up with, the people who had watched him grow up, his grandparents, aunts and uncles....it was as if he had died, but there was no funeral, and no one talked about him. It was as if he never existed. I believe only one person ever asked me how he was doing.

    The part that bothered me was that we heard experiences at the assemblies and read them in the magazines about how WORLDLY people would cut off family members who became Witnesses, and this was proof of them being led by Satan. How was this any different? It doesn't make sense.

    My son's own father was rejected by his Catholic family when he became a JW - but it was a brief rejecting. They weren't happy but they accepted him as part of the family no matter what he believed.

    I have made it clear to my children that there is NOTHING they can do that will make me reject or shun them. It's been hard to convince them of this, because of their experience with the Witnesses.

    Like Loz, I wish I had come to my senses and gotten my kids out earlier.

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    I don't have kids but I hope to someday. I know I would feel exactly as you do jambon. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I have made it clear to my children that there is NOTHING they can do that will make me reject or shun them.

    Ditto

  • jambon1
    jambon1

    When my son was 18, he told his father and I that he no longer wanted to go to the meetings. His father immediately kicked him out of the house. I remember it was the Friday of the CO Visit. My heart broke that night, the terrible gut-wrenching sobs that you never really recover from.

    I was forbidden tohave anything to do with him, or to help him make his way in the world. But I disobeyed. I kept in touch with him against his father's wishes, gave him money, a job and the things he needed - dishes, sheets, towels, etc.

    The people my son had grown up with, the people who had watched him grow up, his grandparents, aunts and uncles....it was as if he had died, but there was no funeral, and no one talked about him. It was as if he never existed. I believe only one person ever asked me how he was doing.

    The part that bothered me was that we heard experiences at the assemblies and read them in the magazines about how WORLDLY people would cut off family members who became Witnesses, and this was proof of them being led by Satan. How was this any different? It doesn't make sense.

    My son's own father was rejected by his Catholic family when he became a JW - but it was a brief rejecting. They weren't happy but they accepted him as part of the family no matter what he believed.

    I have made it clear to my children that there is NOTHING they can do that will make me reject or shun them. It's been hard to convince them of this, because of their experience with the Witnesses.

    Like Loz, I wish I had come to my senses and gotten my kids out earlier.

    Palmtree, that was incredibly hard reading. It must have been awful for you. I really believe that it would feel like a death to have to have nothing to do with my children as adults.

    The way Jehovahs Witnesses act in this regards disgusts me & anyone that I speak to about this issue feels the same.

    JW's - Take a good look at yourselves. You are destroying lives!

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Nice thread, Jambon1

    My love for my children made me think many of the same things. It's so sad that so many have shunned their own children, not because they wanted to, but because of the organizational expectation that they do so.

    My mother recently sent me a letter pleading with me to "come back to Jehovah" (I haven't DA'd or been DF'd). With the letter she had included a card from another woman in her congregation. The person was consoling my mother. She went on about me as if I was dead... it was really creepy and sad to read. Everything was in the past tense. If you didn't know the circumstances, you'd swear she was talking about my mother's dead son.

    In their minds, she was.

    edit: ((Hopscotch)) I'm so sorry for your pain.

  • Hopscotch
    Hopscotch

    zoiks - Thank you. Just when I think I am dealing with the loss of my entire family due to shunning, some little thing will bring the grief and pain to the surface again.

    jambon1 - I can't agree more with you that JWs destroy families and lives with this evil shunning policy. This is the issue with the WTS that is so close to my heart and the one I speak out about to non JWs as often as I can.

    Thanks again for this thread.

    Hopscotch

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