I had little or no problems with my beliefs as an 18 year old convert to the Jehovah's Witness religion. Fair enough, there were a few things that I found a bit wacky & odd, but I was on the road to life. I couldn't give a rats arse about many things. I had found the truth & I was working my way up the JW ladder of approval & appearance.
I was a silly little boy really. Little experience of life. And cockey and arrogant. How I cringe when I look back at my younger years. Always ready to give an opinion on things that I knew nothing about.
After a number of years of adult life, my JW beliefs had come to be rather fractious to me. Many things just didn't sit right. I suppose life was teaching me lessons & I became conflicted as I tried to reconcile what I was seeing in the real world with my what I was being taught at the Kingdom Hall.
Then - BOOM! I had my firstborn baby girl. What a prize! I always remember looking at her after she had been bathed the next day. I looked into her eyes & saw such beuty. Such vulnerability. I was in love. My life now revolved around this wonderful little girl.
The truth is that I realised there & then that I would do anything for my girl. No man, religion or book was going to be able to overpower or supress my natural inclination to love, protect & admire this offspring of mine. I knew that the love that was supposed to be due to god came nowhere near what I felt for my daughter. I was living on borrowed time, in terms of my lifespan as a Jehovahs Witness.
Around about 2002, an elder asked my if I could read from the platform a KM article. I agreed, not recalling what article it actually was. Upon looking at it, I realised that I had agreed to read the 'shunning of disfellowshiped relatives' article. I had already mentally scanned it & it made me feel uncomfortable to say the least.
The words in that article are callous, brutal & devoid of any hint of natural affection. I remember reading it on the platform & sitting down to digest what I had read as the meeting proceeded around me. I looked up to my baby girl & knew that under no circumstances could I ever shun her in her teenage or adult life for sins of the flesh or other silly 'crimes' that are deemed so by the WTS.
How can any loving parent shun their own flesh & blood?
My life as a JW was over there and then. For a further 4 years after reading that shit I simply went through the motions of being a JW. My emotions were torn between what I naturally felt as a parent & what I was being taught at the Kingdom Hall. Conflict, conflict, conflict. All the way. It was a terrible time.
I look at my children thesedays (I had a son in 2004) & sometimes I just simply watch them & listen to them. I don't have to say anything. They just talk. I love them so much that when I hear them talk & listen to their beutiful expressions I can many times feel tears well up in my eyes - just because I love them so much that it overwhelms me.
JW parents who carry out the WTS instruction to shun their children are beyond my understanding. How can they do this? Are they sub-human? It turns my stomach to think about how it must feel for a child (of any age) to be rejected by their parents. What good can possibly come from such action?
Jehovahs Witnesses can be lovely, nice, smiling people. I meet them all the time. Yet, their actions disgust me. They anger me. And they cause damage that is in many cases beyond repair.
Shame on anyone who supports or in any way endorse this disgusting doctrine.
Love your beutiful children.