That you are conscious of your spiritual need after having received discipline from Jehovah through the body of elders is not a bad thing; many of the folks here seem to have no conscience at all as they rejoice over the severance of their relationships with God and with Jesus Christ, the one that they used to call, "Lord." There are many folks that, like you, want to have a good conscience toward God, want to know that they are doing God's will, want to walk in accord with love. (Ephesians 5:2)
That you now will have to deal with being the elder formerly known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses among both your personal and business contacts due to your decision to leave God's organization instead of accepting the "scourging" rendered through the body of elders of your former congregation, which, as you know due to your having served as an elder in God's household, is Jehovah's way of disciplining those He loves, because discipline yields righteousness. (Hebrews 12:5, 6, 11)
Christians are commanded to honor all sort of men, while having love for the whole association of brothers, in fear of Jehovah, and to have honor for Christ Jesus our Lord and king. (1 Peter 2:17) You wanted to be totally free of all restraints upon your Christian freedom, and Satan's world is all about freedom, but not Christian freedom.
As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, you were the target of extreme prejudice and misconceptions lobbed against you as a member of a totally misunderstood "cult," but now you will be known by those that knew you well and by those "on the outside" (where you evidently wanted to be when you evidently decided to leave God's organization, instead of your accepting God's discipline as He administers it throughout the congregations of God) as having been "the elder formerly known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses." Christians are commanded to walk in wisdom toward those "on the outside" (Colossians 4:5), but as you know, Jehovah doesn't permit any haughty or unrepentent person, that refuses to keep his or her robe white to remain in His spiritual temple and so there you are, outside of God's temple wearing a soiled robe.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you will come to experience the fulfillment of Jesus' words at John 16:33, "in the world you are having tribulation," except because you were "handed over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh" (1 Corinthians 5:5), when you are "being slapped" by someone "on the outside," there be no merit in it even if you should manage to endure those "slaps," for the kind of tribulation you are going to have is what happens to those who are part of the world, which as you know is the kind of thing that typically happens to those persons that are alienated from the life that belongs to God. (1 Peter 2:19, 20)
You might expect the tribulation you experience to be enhanced were you disfellowshipped for a sexually-related offense that involved another adult, male or female, but even more so if you were disfellowshipped for such an offense that involved a child, after which you will never be permitted to serve as an elder, or be assigned to serve as a regular pioneer or in any position of responsibility in God's organization (that is, should you decide to return to us).
Hopefully, you are not an accused sex-offender, for typically what this means is that you will forever be listed, not just in Brooklyn's database, but in the world's many databases as a registered sex-offender, since the world is tolerant of affairs of the heart, but not the creepy kind that involve young children, in which case your tribulation will probably be enhanced now that you've been handed over to Satan for the world does destroy those who are its own, for Satan's world does know how to effectively shun an accused sex offenders, how to make their lives seem like a living hell as they must find work and live in shadowy places, while they manage somehow to keep in check the unnatural affection they have for young children as they hide from the parents of these children and the world's activist vigilantes.
If you think the shunning that Jehovah's Witnesses do when someone is disfellowshipped for not walking in love with their brothers and for not walking in love with their neighbors is pretty bad, it is worse for someone that should be expelled for what the world views as a criminal offense -- pedophilia -- for it shuns such persons by obtaining court orders that force such unclean persons at bay some 50 feet and more from the places where its children go. At least a disfellowshipped person can attend meetings with us and strengthen their faith, and can have open and frank discussions with one or more of the elders until he or she should has returned to their senses and is allowed back into God's Great Spiritual Temple.
No matter the basis for the decision of the committee, not praying is a mistake, and the elders can help you to do this, and your decision to miss one day of the "Remain Close to Jehovah" DC wasn't very wise IMO either, even though you know there may be hundreds of your brothers and sisters in attendance that knew you when you were walking with them in love, and knew you when you were serving as an elder, that would soon find out about your current status when they approach you with a greeting since your status doesn't permit you to speak with them, to have spiritual fellowship with them. So as someone that is momentarily afflicted with spiritual leprosy, you would want to call out "Unclean, unclean!" as it were to let those that do not know your status of the need for them to stay away; you're unclean now. (Leviticus 13:44-46)
Your wanting to duck your former brothers and sisters at a district convention and maybe be invisible to them there, but you are not invisible and as you cannot duck your former brothers and sisters at a DC, but you know that the humiliating experience that awaits you there is unavoidable no matter when it is you should decide to attend any assembly of God's people. So why not take a first step, find a little courage and try to attend Day Three of the convention? Here's Sunday's program:
9:30 Song No. 51 and Prayer
9:40 Symposium: Appreciating Jehovah's Endearing Personality
11:00 Song No. 63 and Announcements
11:10 Public Bible Discourse: "How Can You Draw Close to God?"
11:40 Summary of The Watchtower
12:10 Song No. 106 and Intermission
1:40 Song No. 16
1:45 DRAMA: "Walk By Faith and Not By Sight"
2:45 Song No. 49 and Announcements
2:55 Remain "in the Secret Place of the Most High"
3:40 Song No. 2 and Closing Prayer
Now if you have questions, you can talk to me, ask me those questions, ask me privately even, and I will pray for you, not now, but if you should tell me that you really desirous of returning to us. This was your 133rd post, so you know those who are here, many of them being of a very different opinion than I, some who will blatantly deceive you and tell you how some "on this board have found another faith" as if there is exists another "Jesus" or another "good news" than the one that Jehovah's Witnesses preach (2 Corinthians 11:4), but you know that there isn't, don't you? You know that this is not true. You are able to recognize a blind guide when you should see one, can you not?
If anyone should tell you that it is possible for you can have a clean standing with Jehovah, have a relationship with the true God, Jehovah, even though your "white robe" isn't white, but is either soiled or some other color, they're wrong, you're being deceived, for there is only one faith, one God, and even the demons know this (Ephesians 4:5, 6; James 2:19), and so you would do well to ignore such counsel if it is truly your desire to cure the breach that severed your relationship with God and obtain a good conscience toward God again. For "when you are doing good and you suffer, you endure it, this is a thing agreeable with God." (1 Peter 3:21; 2:20)