I grew up in the religion, but my parents always taught me to question. My dad always made my education a priority (so for example, if I had a lot of homework or a school project, I could miss a meeting to complete it) I never realized that jws were not supposed to question until many years later when I was talking to a jw friend, whose children were questioning. I asked her why that upset her...that they should be asking questions.. and after all there was nothing to worry about because the truth would withstand any scrutiny. She looked at me like I was from outer space.
My first big doubt came because of the organ transplant policy, because my dad died because of it, and then they changed it 2 years after he died. I stayed for a decade after that, but it was the first crack in my armour... There was another crack when, during one meeting, I did the math... I looked at the number of watchtowers that were printed per issue (listed in the front of the mag) and multiplied it by the 25 cents we were placing them for at that time... then multiplied that by how many issues per year...and it came to tens of millions of dollars per year just for the watchtower... a little bell went off in my head... little did I know then...that amount was just the tip of the iceberg.... As a sidenote, at that meeting I wrote a note to my husband (now x) that showed the numbers...I wrote that it was a huge amount of money. He wrote back that the society was the only one he would trust with that amount. Years later, when we were going through our divorce, my son told me that his dad had a "file" on me. I found the file, and in it was that note. Evidently, he was saving "evidence" of my doubts... I took the file, and when he discovered it was missing, he freaked, and demanded it back... I told him, no... that file was all about me... and I would be keeping my personal info... and by the way, what kind of a husband keeps such a file on his wife?