Things in the past that show you that your doubts started earlier than you thought

by sabastious 65 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • undercover
    While at Bethel, I would regulary observe extremely unloving behavior/speech by leadership. Later, when speaking with friends and family back home, I was careful to censor my remarks, leaving any of this 'negativity' out of the conversation. I was afraid that I would 'stumble' someone.


    To share the real Bethel experience would be stumbling to those who were considered to be in a lower spiritual class...

  • wobble

    There were lots of things that I was not happy with growing up as a born in, I had to try to rationalise them.

    Looking back though, I realise that though from an early age I could go toe to toe with a householder with the scriptures over doctrine, I was always deeply embarrassed to be a witness, i never told school friends, they found out though, and later never told work friends or other acquaintances.

    That proves to me that deep down, I knew that there was "something nasty in the woodshed", why it took me until my late fifties to walk away is still a mystery to me.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I knew a family who gave up everything in 1975 and that struck me as unfortunate.

    Then the no college thing bothered me as I went through primary and secondary school and continued to irk me my entire life. Especially when they lightened up on college in the early 90s was I angry.

    Then the next big thing that hit me in the 90s was the lie from the platform when they switched to the donation arrangement as a tax dodge and tried to sell it as "a new loving arrangement from Jehovah."

    Then came the ridiculous blood fraction noo lite in the early 2000s.

    Then I criticized the elders and was taken out back and counseled for it. They told me they basically speak for Jesus Christ and should be treated as such (misapplying the "stars in his hand" verse from Revelation). That was when I lost respect for the entire leadership. It didn't matter that I was right - they didn't even address the issue in question - they represent Jesus Christ on earth and I was to treat them like I would treat Christ himself, period.

    Looking back, I don't know how I hung on from that time until I finally faded and quit. I guess it was love for my family and a lack of knowledge about how to get out combined with the Borg programming.

  • pirata

    When I was a kid I went with a witness on a Bible study. We had 2 different editions of the "Live Forever " book. One edition said that those destroyed in Sodom would be resurrected and the other one that said they wouldn't. I was reading and the conductor and I politely disputed whether or not I was reading the paragraph correctly. I think we taught a lot to the householder that day.

    Unfortunately I shelved this experience. I wasn't much of an "independent thinker" at that time.

  • Robert7

    I hated the no college rule. Whenever they'd discourage college, for years I'd always think "Who are YOU to tell ME where my kids will go to school?"

    Having seen the benefits of a college degree I flat-out didn't believe in the WT's stance on college.

  • 10p

    I never felt right that we didn't help people. All those other christian religions seemed to be running soup kitchens, building houses for the poor (and not just for their own members after a disaster) and so on. The excuse that we were "doing a more important work" never felt right to me either, because Jesus fed the hungry, and his parable of the good samaritan didn't mention anything about preaching to the poor beaten-up man - just plain old fashioned helping him in the present in a completely physical way.

    I too have no idea how I just supressed this for decades.

    Plus, I lost repesct for the elders when I was about 12 because my best friend's father was appointed, and I knew what a drunkard he was!

  • Lozhasleft

    When I was first studying the 'truth' book and the conducting sister wanted the answers from the paragraph from me....I really couldnt respond like that it felt childish and insincere and I told her so...I used to challenge everything they asserted as fact...then I started to get drawn in ...what a shame...

    Loz x

  • coffee_black

    I grew up in the religion, but my parents always taught me to question. My dad always made my education a priority (so for example, if I had a lot of homework or a school project, I could miss a meeting to complete it) I never realized that jws were not supposed to question until many years later when I was talking to a jw friend, whose children were questioning. I asked her why that upset her...that they should be asking questions.. and after all there was nothing to worry about because the truth would withstand any scrutiny. She looked at me like I was from outer space.

    My first big doubt came because of the organ transplant policy, because my dad died because of it, and then they changed it 2 years after he died. I stayed for a decade after that, but it was the first crack in my armour... There was another crack when, during one meeting, I did the math... I looked at the number of watchtowers that were printed per issue (listed in the front of the mag) and multiplied it by the 25 cents we were placing them for at that time... then multiplied that by how many issues per year...and it came to tens of millions of dollars per year just for the watchtower... a little bell went off in my head... little did I know then...that amount was just the tip of the iceberg.... As a sidenote, at that meeting I wrote a note to my husband (now x) that showed the numbers...I wrote that it was a huge amount of money. He wrote back that the society was the only one he would trust with that amount. Years later, when we were going through our divorce, my son told me that his dad had a "file" on me. I found the file, and in it was that note. Evidently, he was saving "evidence" of my doubts... I took the file, and when he discovered it was missing, he freaked, and demanded it back... I told him, no... that file was all about me... and I would be keeping my personal info... and by the way, what kind of a husband keeps such a file on his wife?


  • designs

    Giving a talk at a College on the beliefs of JWs back in the late 60s and being laughed off of the stage by my remarks about Creation being 7000 year 'Days' or.............according to F.Franz we were something like 48000 years from the beginning.

    Did I do my homework first or critically think about what I had been taught............... No

    I deserved to have been laughed off of the stage

    Still it took another 30 years to break free from that hold and that bunch of superstitions

  • isaacaustin

    Designs, Back in the time period you were a JW was it common to give talks at colleges? I had once read a WT where it mentioned a witness speaking at a church. Did you ever do that (while a witness)?

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