This cult is driving me crazy!

by teel 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lozhasleft

    Teel the elders arrogant nasty attitudes when they get like this are enough to make anyone's blood boil ...and dont believe the rubbish they spout....I think some of them wouldnt recognize spirituality if it hit them in the face anyway.

    Loz x

  • Yan Bibiyan
    Yan Bibiyan


    What infuriates me is how short people's memory is

    You mentioned you are in Romania; don't know how old are you or your spouse, but if you are anything over 30, you should have personal memories of what the Causescu regime was. Even if you are younger, your parents no doubt have told you volumes about it....

    And what do people in Eastern Europe do when JWs show up at their door - they GO into another high control environment.

    If you were BORN into Communism and had no choice but to endure the abuse I get it, you roll with the punches. BUT WHY oh WHY put yourself into a similar environment. And if you were duped at first, when you see the bullshit, LEAVE!

    There are so many similarities between the MO of Communist governments and the WT, that it should be OBVIOUS to people who have personal or second hand knowledge of the former...

    Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...well you can't fool me twice (in a paraphrase of the famous words of US president G W Bush)


  • dgp

    Yan Bibiyan, I agree with you. You wouldn't understand why Cubans in Miami become Jehovah's witnesses . But Teel became a witness because he loved the woman. He wasn't thinking right. And he needs help getting out, not chastising because he got in. I do believe he should be happy, though I understand losing the wife is quite a loss.

    Personally, this post by Teel makes me think a lot. I was in his shoes once. I wanted in because of a woman. I have the feeling that I would eventually find myself where Teel is now. Or where SD-7 is now. I believe that, in such a juncture, the thought of having made the humongous effort of becoming a witness (giving up and alienating friends but, above all, family, maybe a job, hobbies, whatever) just to find that you end up alone again must be a terrible weight to bear. SD-7 got ratted out by his own wife. He does everything he can yet he finds nothing seems to work (I wonder where I have seen that). Teel finds she doesn't care about him. That sounds like the real thing behind this post, and why he finds that no one but witnesses understand him.

    When I think of this, I realize that I didn't take the step Teel did take. He must have felt like the world couldn't be better when he got his girl. I can't imagine how he must be feeling now.

    Teel, chin up. You deserve better.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Sorry, I can't help you with anger management. I got pissed at the elders just reading your account of how they acted.

    As for your wife she has been brainwashed by these morons into thinking they have all the answers and must always be right. Someday she may wake up as you did and realize it is all a scam but by then it will probably be too late for the two of you. There are lots of xjw's who regret how they raised their families and acted to their spouses and for that matter treated others in general when they were witnesses so try not to be to angry with her, at this point she really doesn't understand what she is doing.

  • teel

    Yan Bibiyan: I am almost 32 now, my first 12 years were under the communist regime. I was still too young to leave a lasting impression on me, but it's easier to understand how the high-control environment works on a nationwide level.

    I was thinking maybe communist oppression made it even more easy for some to accept the cult, because of the familiarity. The communists had the power for about 40 years, so after democracy came, even the youngest persons who knew from experience what liberty was, were 50-60 years old. Most of the persons only ever knew the high control. Not surprisingly at all, JWs after the revolution had a huge increase here - also thanks to the fact that the people were not afraid to join a religion. I remember one elder told me he saw two big waves: after '89 (the revolution), and just before 2000. He also added the majority of both of these waves left the organization.

    It seems I'm hijacking my own thread; by my heart I would like to just forget this whole deal, and start over my life - I got angry countless time at myself that I made that wrong choice back then when my wife (girlfriend back then) told me we have to break up because I'm a "wordly". There was a mild anecdote there, she quoted me the verse "you can't be friends with God and friends with the world too". So I asked her "Am I the world?" She never managed to explain her choice well, because back then she wasn't so "strong" either - another word for "indoctrinated". If only I would have made the right choice - but I knew she loved me, and I loved her. I'm afraid I was too yielding - she didn't make one step to accomodate our differences, and I went all the way to her. That's not a good way to start a marriage.

    Well, but that is over now. I'm partly glad I'm finally out, I just feel the price I paid was not proportional to my thoughtless act back then 10 years ago.

    Anyone knows if I can change that sign on my topic? I put that by mistake, and edited it quickly after posting to switch to , but when viewing Active Topics it still shows the original thumbs up, and there's nothing to be thumbing up about here.

  • Yan Bibiyan
    Yan Bibiyan


    As far as what effects Communism had on people, I can 100% identify with your experiences and observations... I am 40 now and grew up just south of the border from you ...yet, I am still fuming at the thought of people voluntarily putting themselves in the hell they were just freed from...

    Felt really sorry when I read the story, at the same time happy for you that you see some kind of closure and have the strength to move on.

    All the best, brother, (not in the JW sense ) and keep us posted on how it goes for you...


  • cab1000

    " He finally asked if I was going to make an effort to come back to the meetings and get reinstated--yes or no, he said, "to cut this conversation short." My response? "I can think of a way to cut this conversation short." [Click] [Dial tone] Hung up on him. "

    Thanks for a great laugh!

  • dgp

    I can very well understand why some people who never knew liberty are willing to give it up when they finally get it. It's because they don't know how to live in liberty. They are used to having someone else define what they are to do, and that's how they can survive. I'm sure many a witness doesn't leave the religion because, in often repeated words, "Where else would they go?".

    Teel, for all it's worth, 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

    You loved her and gave her your best. It's so sad that she can't comprehend the dimension of what she asked from you, and what you gave her. She should be forgiven maybe, because, indeed, she doesn't know what she is doing. Or, what she is missing. When you love a woman in a cult, you do love. You know she will break your heart and yet you keep giving, and nothing seems enough to make you go away. Right?

    I am sure that, deep down, she is heartbroken, too. Or, she will be. I gather that she's young as you are. One day she will realize what she lost. It's sad that, from what I read in this forum, it often happens only after people are past their fifties and realize that their lives will end in this world, and nowhere else. I am sure the moment will come when she will understand what she let go. She will realize it didn't have to be that way, and, yet, she will have lost you.

    I think you should feel proud for what you did for her. You were her knight in white armor.

    Moving on will be very difficult, particularly in your case, but it can be done. I think I will eventually get to that point, too, when I will have moved on. Your post affects me very much because I see what could have happened to me if I had been a bit less fortunate than you and hadn't found sites like this one before I got too involved. I see that I got lucky. Still, how I wish I could have her in my arms again!

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