I'm not having a lot of luck convincing my wife to just let us fade away. She's in the middle of the angry stage. So, I told her I would post this question and get imput from you people
What would happen, to inactive witnesses, if you asked your local congregation to make you a do-not-call? After being left alone for two years we seem to be attracting the attention of a couple of car groups each week.
Think that would be a huge red light for a judicial committee? Or think they would just put it on the territory cards to stay away? Or something else?
It sure would cowboy! That would be a green light that you are in need of their help! Just be pleasant and friendly while just not going to meetings. If the elders are anything like the ones I served with, they will want to force a showdown on your views of the WT if you noticed them for a “no Call.”(They would ask questions that you would not want to answer, unless you are ready to wear the mark)
I bumped into one past elder friend, and he states that last x-mass he and his wife drove by my house a number of times to see if we put up a tree or x-mass lights!! Keep friendly but inactive, they can’t touch you......
“We all fell down from the milky way, hanging around here for the judgement day, heaven only knows who’s in command.”- Jimmy Buffet
Depends on how hard you hit them with a request for a "do not call". If you just make a request, it may or may not fly, and they might claim that you've disassociated yourselves. You know the local elders, so you'll have to make that judgment. If you want to hit them hard, you need to have a lawyer write a letter saying essentially, "Keep away from us. By the way, this letter is NOT telling you that we have disassociated." If any JW violates your wishes, they're at legal risk. The letter is mailed to the local elders and to the Society's Legal Dept. Unless there is some crying need for the elders to get rid of you, they'll almost certainly back off. Of course, such a letter will alienate you from the elders. You could also include language forbidding them from discussing your demand with anyone. For a sample that has worked, email me.
my take is it will draw attention to you, unwanted attention from the elders if you have certain objectives in mind.
Are you trying to avoid the DF or DA label? Is your wife willing to accept the costs DF'ing can bring; total estrangement from loved ones still in, et cetera?
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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."
Jerry the only family we have left as JW's are my son. He most likely would stay in contact with us, he has said he would. But who really knows once those elders start working on him.
My wife is angry, she'd DA herself today if I weren't holding her back a bit. I would prefer to avoid the "label", but honestly if it happens, so what. We have zero contact with anyone unless they are counting time.
That idea of sending them a letter letting them know we have NOT DAed ourselves seems like a good one. Perhaps I could mention in there that we just want our space "for now".
But, we did have a tree up this year, so, as usual, who the hell knows what I'm doing *S*
I don't want to post the letter publicly, as it contains enough detail to identify the writer to certain people. I will certainly email it privately, though.
If they really want to get you they will. They'll go so far as to lie, obfuscate, you name it.
A friend of mine was an elder in Kentucky. And he was slowly going blind as a result of diabetes. At the same time, his "eyes" were being open to spiritual realities. As his vision dimmed, he began to light lots of candles around his home at night because he could perceive the flickering in the darkened room, and he wanted to see whatever it was he could see for as long as he could.
Of course, the elders made a habit of driving by his home to see what they could spy up. It wasn't too long before the story began to circulate that he and his wife were "worshipping candles" and probably the devil along with it.
I'll just tell you what we did. Every time they came, we didn't answer their knocks on the door. If they called, we didn't answer the phone. Even if they knew we were home, we didn't care. They stopped coming.
If it hadn't been for my own BIG mouth blabbing to my sister, I would be sitting pretty right now. And even though I talked, the elders still haven't requested a JC.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that the last time I actually talked to an elder my BIL, I specifically said to him, "I know where the KH is. And I know how to get in touch with an elder I feel comfortable with so you don't have to waste your time. I just have to sort things through on my own right now."
That seemed to work with him because he never called or came over again and it's been three years!
