What difference does it make if we are born in?

by wanderlustguy 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  wanderlustguy

  I actually wrote that and posted it up about 4 years ago, but last night was forwarding it and a ton of other stuff to someone who wanted to know more about what I had been through as a Witness. It was very powerful reading through what I have written over the last 6 years, like looking back at someone else. Even now my mind finds a way to forget things, there is still come cognitive dissonance. Even more, memories of things that hurt don't exist or get pushed back to some dark corner of the mind.

  I have another one on the brought in a well, I'll put it up in a bit. There are so many people here now that weren't here back when, there are people who wrote far more profound things than I ever will, and they are buried in this ocean of knowledge. Maybe they will come back around and give those threads or concepts new life here, they sure helped me.

  Thanks for the encouragement, it always makes for a better day!

  WLG
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  miseryloveselders

  This thread would make an excellant documentary. It's so bizarre the experiences one has from being born-in. Good post Wanderlustguy, and everybody elses too.

  St.Ann, I know that feeling all too well. I've often told people I'm close to that I don't fear death. I fear how I might die, because I don't want to get eaten by some animal, or drown, or what's been embedded into my head since my birth........... death at Armageddon, being tossed into the Lake of Fire. At the same time however, I loathe my upbringing in this religion so much anymore that I welcome to some degree the day I stop breathing. Death is almost like a release from this spiritual paradise prison. Granted I've got plenty of good memories too. And to be fair, life could have been worse. I could have been born in Somalia, or a Palastenian. I could have been paralyzed or have Sickle Cell Anemia. There's a ton of messed up things that could have happened to me. That's not to downplay the damage this org has had on people either, don't get me wrong. I'm just trying to look at the glass being half full the best I can. Some days are better than others. Wow this thread is depressing. It's raining where I'm at too. Ughgh......
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  Twitch

  Good post. Well said.

  (born in)
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  Lozhasleft

  Taking away the love of a family, taking away the simple things of home, celebration, and appreciation for the life we have is abuse. Teaching people to have a hope of something that is a total fabrication and lie, even to the point of not speaking to their own family is the worst kind of abuse.

  My youngest daughter was a 'born in' and reading this made me feel so sick inside.

  Loz x
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  StAnn

  I'm going to make my husband read this thread. He's never been a JW, he's a good, worldly, Catholic man. He always says that I think being raised a JW was the worst thing in the world and I can't get him to understand how much damage it does. My oldest son is a born-in, now DF'd and my husband can't quite understand his behavior, especially his immaturity and naivete.

  Thanks, all.

  StAnn
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  goldensky

  Dear Wonderlustguy, this is one of the best posts I've read lately. How well you have described it! I can't wait to read it to my 11-year old son, who, having been liberated only one year ago, will also be able to relate to a lot of it, plus it will help him appreciate even more the freedom he enjoys now compared to what his teenage years would have been like had I not woken up. Thank you very much indeed!
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  NiceDream

  Excellent post! I was 4 when my parents became JWs. I didn't fit in at school or at the hall because my parents were spiritually weak. After I married, I was living a lie, trying to be someone I wasn't. I am now 27 and realized why I've been so unhappy, and I feel free and excited to live my life.

  We do better when we know better! Now I just have to free my hubby so my son can grow up semi-normal! I'll make sure to teach my son the real truth so he doesn't grow up being afraid or feeling guilty about everything.
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  BigJimmyN

  As a born in I can relate to all of what you said. I look back now and it makes me sick to know I was raised being a JW. I still constantly get guilt trips from my mom (which don't work anymore) and my sisters rarely speak to me. It took a long time to finally learn how to be happy with my life. To this day, I just wish I could have a "normal" relationship with my family but we all know that will not happen. So many parents think they are doing the best things for their kids by raising them JW's but it is abuse.

  How is it right that a 7 or 8 year old kid has to leave the classroom when the other kids are singing happy birthday and having a pizza party? I ALWAYS had to go outside the classroom for birthday parties at school while all the other kids were laughing and eating pizza and cake, I was sitting out in the hallway alone..

  As I got older I learned how to play the JW game.. Say what needed to be said and do what needed to be done but at the same time having my little fun every now and then..
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  mrsjones5

  I still have trouble opening up to people and making friends. I take things super slow with friendships.

  Me too, sister.

  Note of irony, my mother is still trying to hook me up with a lady who I think is a born-in also who left for a while and is now studying with a sister in my mother's congregation. This lady (I'll call her Heidi) talks to my mother about me, our kids go to the same schools. My silly mother then comes back to me and relates what has been said about me in their conversations. Heidi said to my mother that she tries to be friendly towards me but I'm very quiet and it's been a bit difficult for her to get me to open up.

  Now Heidi's oldest son and my oldest son has been hanging out at my house and Heidi's playing video games. I have a feeling that both my mother and Heidi feels that this may be a way to get in with me. It's not.

  Guess what? Me opening up to her is never going to happen now that I know my mother is using her to get whatever information she can get on me.

  Strike 1: You're a wannabe jw

  Strike 2: You're friends with and talking to my mother about me.

  Strike 3 is soon to come.
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  beksbks

  Ahhhh you're choking me up here. I know everyone whose life touched the JW's has had a hard time at some point. But being born in...........!

  NiceDream, my family was weak as well. So you are "no part of this world", but you don't fit in at the hall either.

  I always looked at it like a tree that had had something tied around it when young. That tree will live and grow, but that tie is embedded in there, and there's no way to get it out.