How could we all get along better together??? (page 3)

teejay

It's all a matter of perspective and what you consider "getting along."

I've witnessed (and been a part of) some very friendly but spirited debates both here and in real life that to an outsider/non-participant might have looked like a fight was about to break out. I'm from a family of six intelligent, opinionated people who don't mind getting loud sometimes in order to get their point across. Regardless of how it might have looked, everyone (here and r/l) was "getting along" just fine.

Then I've been to places like WOL and to an actual Kingdom Hall a time or two that gave the impression that every was being so nicey-nice, civil and thinking-alike that you had the impression you could hear a pin drop. Everyone seemed to be "getting along" there, too.

I guess it all depends on what you mean by "getting along" and what you expect from a discussion board. Kudos in this regard to JerryTx. Jw.com is not for everybody and expecting ANY site to satisfy every need for all people everywhere isn't reasonable.

peace,
tj

Xena

BTW Jerry did you see Kismit's post on why he was leaving?

larc

Some general comments,

I know that some are very angry and with just cause. It seems to me that anger should be directed. Focus the anger on your target, but don't let it explode and injure the innocent. Furthermore, anger is only good in moderation. Too much anger will consume the person filled with it and cause them personal harm. Extreme anger is a poison to the body in my opinion.

Some who leave don't feel great anger. They feel great sadness to the point of depression. These are the ones who are vulnerable to damage by careless anger spewed all over them.

Then there are the veterans who are past the anger and depression. However, when they spend considerable time in preparing, writing, and reviewing long, thoughtful posts, the old negative emotions are likely to reappear. This leaves the writer emotionally drained. Now, if they post a series of thoughtful posts they become further drained of energy. About this time, a reader comes along and kicks the living shit out of them. Others see this and pile on in a verbal gang bang. Even the toughest veteran will be ready to throw in the towel at this point.

As someone pointed out, there are real people behind the computer screen and they have real reactions.

I know, I know. Words are just words. Bullshit! Words can hurt or heal. The book of James has a nice discussion on this subject.

ballistic

They say the tounge lives in a slippery place, well typos slip out too. Plus most of what I say is tounge in cheek and you wouldn't even notice with my keyboard skills.

ballistic

[please no off-subject comments about tounges]

JerryTX

Yes, Xena, I did read why Kismet was leaving. As I said, some people are hurting badly. If I was in a position where I had to stay *underground* because I was still interacting in the JW community, I wouldn't be posting personal information, because a site like this attracts people from the plain nutty status to those who are wise, caring and have the energy to share their wisdom with those of us still healing.

teejay

As someone pointed out, there are real people behind the computer screen and they have real reactions.

I know, I know. Words are just words. Bullshit! Words can hurt or heal. The book of James has a nice discussion on this subject.

Thanks, larc.

Maybe more will accept this truth if it comes from a respected, learned man. Some so-called "logical" and "great thinking" posters have made the popular claim that, "well... the insults and verbal slams are just words and it's up to the hearer/reader to sit and think about it and then calmly decide how they are going to react."

You said it well:

"Bullshit!"

Hmmm

larc said: "I know, I know. Words are just words. Bullshit! Words can hurt or heal. The book of James has a nice discussion on this subject."

Larc, a little more info please. James who? What's his last name? What's the title of his book?

Hmmm

(I'm kidding. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.)

Tatiana

Luke 10:27

..."love thy neighbor as thyself.."

Even if you don't believe in God or Jesus, to me there is no other advice anyone needs, because if you practice this, you can only win in the end.

Recently I got my feelings hurt here. I've always been one to be kind and sensitive (maybe too much so) and only get into disagreements(very rarely) when something really upsets me. I try to understand other's feelings, whether it be rage, or grief, or even drunkeness.

I sat here for a few nights, ready to respond in anger, but finally realized it would do no good. Only start yet another thread of name-calling and bad feelings. And I come here to heal, not be drained of what little strength I have left.

I've been through hell in the last few years of my life, yet I've never taken it out on anyone here. I'm sorry, but I think that's a bad excuse. I've been raped, homeless, jobless, lived with an alcoholic fiance and broken up with him after three years, had my only sister commit suicide, had to move 1000 miles to get away from the man who raped me. (He was let out on a technicality after being sentenced to life plus 45 years, and started stalking me.)

Almost died from skin cancer (I waited too long to have it diagnosed)and had to have major plastic surgery. And got hit by a car (hit and run) the day after Christmas.

I'm not trying to sound like I don't get angry and hurt and upset and downright pissed at the world, but you guys have been my healing place. How could I take this out on you ???? How could I treat you as anything less than "myself", when I know you've all been through some of these things or worse? How can I curse at YOU and yell at YOU, when YOU are ME???????

I love you all as myself.....sorry....that's how I feel.

Love......

April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)