Gratitude from a long time lurker!

by Thetis 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • not a captive
    not a captive

    Thetis, Thanks for telling something of yourself.

    For a while as I read your story I thought you were a young sister I knew who had the same thing happen to her at your age. The elders' meeting she went through was just as you described it --a horrible personal assault on a young girl. She is gone from the JWs noe and her mother,still a JW, feels the burden of guilt and was not able to support her. But her dad is not a JW.

    Please continue to feel free here. We cherish our freedom so much that sometimes we are a little abrasive. Don't worry---And give as good as you get!


  • snowbird

    Welcome, Thetis.

    Sorry for the violation of your dignity.


  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Nice to have you here, thank you for sharing your experience....the Crisis book has really helped me work through my anger and guilt feeling over leaving the organization, Mr. Frantz put so eloquently exactly how I was feeling.

    Please post more about how you are doing with your relationship with your mom, I struggle with what to do with my JW mom, & I think your experiences can help us with family still in-

    I am so sorry about the elders traumatizing you with your very delicate situation, I have heard about such experiences before & sadly I did answer some elder's questions in the past about my personal sex life with my then JW husband that I wish I never would have revealed....

    Best Wishes to you


  • BabaYaga

    Welcome, Dear Thetis.

    It gets better.


  • Jadeen

    Welcome to the board and thank you for sharing your story.

    I recently ran into a woman that had attended my local congo when we were both teenagers. Her story was very similar to yours. She described feeling like she had been stomped on, crushed, mentally and spiritually raped.

    She said that she was never the same person after that. It's so sad and infuriating that she was so damaged by events that happened half her life ago.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Dont wurry about yur spellin, its the thawt that counts. Welcomb.

  • Thetis

    Thanks for all your replies!

    Teel - I agree that Elders, who are untrained to deal with matters relating to marriage, sexual abuse, depression etc. have such power!

    Luo bou to - I just feel really sad that a manual can be used to make decisions - like giving the same prescription to everyone for flu, irrespective whether they are diabetic, hypertensive etc. You may enjoy the movie Shadowlands as it is loosely based on the life of C.S.Lewis.

    Troubled Mind - I just cannot believe that a parent can basically push their natural protective instincts aside for a religion. I know my Mother will never apologize for not being there for me as this will mean admitting the org. is flawed and I don't believe she can face up to this.

  • Thetis

    Wasanelder Once - I know, the spelling was appalling. In my defense, however, my spell checker is faulty

    Jadeen - that expression sums up exactly how I felt! It's those feelings of shame and painful nakedness that just seems to continue on, no matter how long ago it happened.

    Coffee House Girl - I am sorry about your mother. I have reached a stage with my own Mother where we don't discuss much relating to JW's. Initially she would tell me about some experience or about Br Humiliating's family, and I couldn't believe her insensitivity. I have since had the courage to tell her not to discuss these things as it just opens up old wounds for me. It's just so painful as you cannot have a normal relationship; it's as if everything is guarded.

    I only see one JW friend occasionally. Just recently she was telling me that when she was newly married, the elders came and saw her and asked whether she was engaging in oral sex or any other perversions. She said she couldn't believe that she had actually given them info but its because she was so young and felt it was the right thing to do.. (she could never speak to anyone about this - she felt so embarrassed)

  • Thetis

    Wasanelder Once - thank you for the welcomb though!

    OTWO - Yes,I was referring to that post. Thanks! Do you know that I was so bitter and so angry that I made myself ill. I know worse things have happened to people and I realize it's often a combination of life's events, but it still doesn't change the way I feel. I remember reading a book written by Alice Miller and she says something to this effect: "childhood is not the shortest age in our life but rather the longest because it stays with us forever"

    I will be away for a while, so please don't think I am disappearing. Once again, thank you! (repetition for emphasis!)-

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