Here is the Letter I am thinking of sending ,give me your input

by troubled mind 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • AllTimeJeff

    Here's a thought.

    I would make it totally a legal letter. By you mentioning disassociation, you are in effect, giving them permission to disfellowship you.

    I would take out the following material

    There is nothing I see in the Bible that calls for a formal letter of disassociation in my situation, or any other. I did not sign a contract with an organization at my baptism . In 1978 baptism was still a dedication to God not an organization like it is today . It seems to me that the provision of formal disassociation is a matter of convenience for the Elder body or the Society rather than serving any real religious purpose. It allows people to be pigeon-holed into nice neat little categories rather than dealing with real issues .

    My spirituality is between me and my heavenly Father . I wish to be left alone and allowed to seek that journey on my own .

    Since you are involving the police, just leave it legal, and let them sulk in their own sour milk.

    Great letter btw.

  • AllTimeJeff

    Remember as Scully told you in your other thread, your goal should be to NOT play into their hands while protecting yourself. Your statements about your views of their religion play into what they want. They WANT to disfellowship you, and will look for anything in writing to do it.

    So I would avoid any statements in your letter outside of the harrassment. Leave it legal. You don't have to acknowledge anything to those elders, other then you want their harrassment to stop.

    Why you want to cease seeing them, even if you used to talk to the elders, is entirely your purview. You don't owe them an explanation for why you want the harrassment to stop.

    It's like asking an abusive husband to stop. Do you need a reason? Yeah, cause it hurts. But that goes without saying.

    So I would go without saying anything more then necessary.

  • blondie

    TM, remember this from your other post? You might want to include these points. Can you run this by the police you talked to again?

    His suggestion is for me to write a letter to the KH stating that I want no further calls or visits and that a letter is also filed with the Police department . State that I do not want to file criminal action ,but am prepared to if pushed that way .


    Just keep it simple, leave out the comments on depression. Whether you are depressed or were doesn't matter, they are still wrong to be doing this. You might say that is not a letter of disassociation (I'll take other suggestions on that)

    A signature at this point may be misused. If it reaches the legal step, that can be reconsidered.

    Send it certified mail, requiring a signed green card, that they did get it. Registered makes it delivered to a specific individual but that's not necessary.

    Around here the elders don't try many times to confront people. If they feel they have the evidence/proof to DF, they just send a letter that they are df'ing you (in whatever words apply now), they send it three times, and if no response they df you in absentia. (no need for others to correct my terminology, please).

    Personally, I would just let any calls go to voice mail, have caller ID, and not answer the door. I would also get a police whistle and blow it hard into the phone after identifying it is an unwelcome caller.

    Love, Blondie

  • IsaacJ22

    I'm inclined to agree with AllTimeJeff. If you mention anything about disassociation or DFing, restrict it to the fact that this is their reason for harassing you and that they have no legal authority to compel you to do it.

    Or you could write two letters, one filed with the police and another, more personal letter that explains you aren't prepared to sever all ties with the WTS for their convenience. You could add that you wrote this 2nd letter to keep internal matters out of the hands of "the worldly authorities." That's a position they would have to respect, at least a little.

  • exwhyzee

    Rather than send a letter which could be taken as an excuse to make an announcement about you in the Hall and all that goes along with such an announcement. Find out if it is possible to file a restraining order against either the body or specific elders or if there is a letter that can be issued by your attorney or the police Dept on your behalf simply saying that unsolicited contact with you is prohibited.

  • sherah

    IA with the posters who said keep the letter legal by removing references to your depression and reasons for not DA'ing esp if this in not the your intention. Also, can you file a restraining order without sending this letter at all? If this BOE is pushing for you to DA, this letter will be used for that purpose.

  • Cagefighter

    After a stint in the collections industry I roll my eyes everytime I hear the "H" word. You must remember Troubled mind it is not Harrassment till you tell someone to leave you alone. After reading your other posts I believe this is the first time you have done this. I am very proud of you and I think your letter is perfect. You need to vent directly to them. Yes they will take is as a DA letter because you are refusing to play by the "clubs" rules. Don't get so hung up on who is in control, you are. You are finally taking control by doing this. There will be consequenses for doing so but it looks like you will be just fine. I know it's hard but don't dwell on the old friends and connections and being villified. I'd simply but up a sign on the door saying no JW's or solicitors that along with a phone call or letter like the one above should do it.


  • Desert Rat
    Desert Rat

    Very nice letter. If you do decide to send it, do as Blondie suggested though, take it to your Post Office and send it Certified Mail with Return Receipt. It will cost you $5.54. Make sure you keep your Postmarked receipt showing who the item was mailed too, and when the 'signed' receipt comes back to you, you will have your 'legal proof' that you did indeed notify them of your wishes. It will stand up in a court of law if needed, rural Nevada uses this means of a mailing to 'legally serve' some. Best of luck to you!

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Thank you everyone for the comments . My husband and I took off this afternoon for a wedding out of town ,a MUCH needed respite , we just got home . In the morning I will revise my letter using some of the suggestions . Good nite and thanks again .

  • Quillsky

    I believe sending a disassociation letter is playing by their rules.

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