Disfellowshipping - But You KNEW About It Before You Were Baptized!

by Georgiegirl 42 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Quillsky

    It is the practice of shunning that i take issue with.

    I'm completely with you there, Aussie Oz. If it weren't for this barbaric practice then I'd be happy to say "This is just another religion."

    In the past few weeks, though I'm neither disfellowshipped nor have I disassociated myself, two people that I've formerly been close to have expressed that they no longer will communicate with me because I've "left Jehovah".

    The attempts at control sicken me.

    (And by the way, since when did JW's start shunning people that WEREN'T DF'ed or DA'ed??)

  • carla

    My jw still doesn't believe that people are df-ed for thoughts and opinions, minor infractions, etc.... he believes all of you HAD to of done some major sin (fornication, theft, starting your own 'religion', etc...) He does not believe that men who beat their wives are allowed to stay in, he does not believe that child molesters are often given a pass as well as long as they appear repentant enough and so forth. He still has no real clue. He most certainly was not told about any of this before he was dunked. He was not told many things before hand by the org, by me yes, but then I'm just an evil worldly person filled with satan trying to keep him from their god jah/gb.

  • Hiding Questioner
    Hiding Questioner

    Here is how unjust, cruel and life-altering DFing can be. I got baptized at 16 and, though I lived a clean, loyal, dedicated, moral, good life, doing all the right things as a JW, reached out and had a fine reputation and many friends (both in and out of the Truth), this is what happened to me. I was very careful to marry a JW woman that I could and did fall in love with to spend the rest of my life with or into the New System, whichever came first LOL and we were so happy together for 7 years, building a life, home and friends…then one day…...

    SHE decided…”I don’t love you anymore, I want to get on with my life”, went to the elders, told them I was unfaithful (UNTRUE) and proceeded to sell the house, cash in, leave and go 800 miles away to her family and old friends. Just that simple.

    So, here I am having NEVER done anything wrong and honestly thinking that as long as I did everything right (which I did) I could and would never get DFed. I had up to this point always thought that only “bad people” and “sinners” could get DFed. In her home town 800 miles away she then proceeds to drag my name through the mud accusing me of everything from being unfaithful to being gay with most JWs and family believing every word.

    I in-turn proceeded to rebuild my devastated life only to find out that, though I had done NOTHING wrong and was still the “good person” I am, I would be DFed if I were to fall in love again and marry another woman. So, I was expected to suddenly remove from my body, mind and soul the natural healthy male feelings for a wife and home, live alone and celibate for the rest of my life and the comfort I was given was at least she is blood guilty for MY ULTIMATE DEATH! should I remarry. The other choice given me was to become a stalker, hid in the bushes in her home town, and loose tons of time, money and self respect in doing so (never mind my job and jail time for stalking!) in the hope of catching her “in the ACT”. And folks, the elders (and JWs) really want “8 X 10 glosses” of the sex act.

    What a way to have to think and live the rest of my life! The other choice I had was of course to “ignore the rules”, live as a normal healthy human, get married and then be kicked out of my religion (DFed) with its accompanying slander, loss of all my family and friends. And this, after having already lost my wife’s family/friends. Some choice, huh!

    So, please tell this mind-game twist in life and impossible standard to meet to all those young folks contemplating baptism!


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    About a year and a half ago, while still an elder but totally awakened, I was asked to go over 1/3 of the Pre-Baptism Corporate Policy Manual with a young teen. I considered fobbing it off on someone else, but this was a "privilege" I thought I might be able to possibly accomplish a tiny bit of good with. (Turned out to be a total waste of time.) I really zeroed in on the questions having to do with DFing and what the stakes are if you change your mind, etc. Any chance I could to achieve FULL DISCLOSURE, (short of saying "get out! It's a CULT!") I did.

    This teen was starry-eyed and wanting to please other JWs. The influence of the group is very powerful indeed.


  • Balsam

    When any JW starts questioning the JW teachings or the authority of the GB, the Elders will look for any thing to disfellowship or will ask the person to disassociate themselves before they can talk to other JW's about their questions.

  • nugget

    It is also worth pointing out that the Df'g arrangement we baptised into is not the same today as it was then. In the past family members could associate with you just not discuss spiritual things.

    In recent years the dfing has been used in the worst possible way as a form of bullying and has become harsher and more punitive. This is not a loving bringing someone to their senses it is bullying by a controlling organisation.

    Also when we joined the organisation we trusted that they told us the truth. It seems disingenuous that once we find them to be liars they punish us for it.

  • Quillsky

    "Bullying" is the right word, Nugget.

  • ziddina

    Ooo! Ooo!! What "Leaving WT" said!!!

  • ziddina

    O - K... Let's for the sake of argument say that the WTBTS becomes a bit more - up front - about the hazard of disfellowshipping before one becomes baptised...

    Let's also say that people being baptised are primarily adults... [Bear with me, please... I know we're entering a fantasy land here, but for the sake of making my point...]

    So! One studies with the JWs, decides they like what they hear, agree to all the questions [how many were there? 92?], and becomes baptised...

    IN THE RELIGION AS IT EXISTED AT THE POINT OF BAPTISM... [sorry, caps for emphasis...]

    But then!!!

    There's "NOOO LITE"!!!

    Here's a funny thought... Because the WTBTS has changed the dogma, the religion that you were baptised into, no longer exists!!! You're NOT liable to continue in the religion, because the religion you were baptised into, has been changed!!! THE RULES HAVE BEEN CHANGED!!!

    [Yeah, I know, that's not how the WTBTS Gov.Bod posits it, but every time they change the 'rules', they negate their own belief system...]

    Trying to remain a JW in good standing is like trying to ride a sidewinder... Bareback!!


  • streets76

    I was born-in but managed to avoid the dip. Came close a couple of times. In the end, I just couldn't stand the thought of being a phony bastard.

    I've only met a couple of "religious" folks in my lifetime (of any denomination) who weren't complete and total phony bastards.

    The KH is full of them. The very last time I ever went out in FS I felt totally demoralized and phony. I was half-way hoping Holden Caulfied would come to the door and blow my crazy phony head off.

    "Religious" people should just wear signs around their necks, "Look at me -- ain't I special!"

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