Help Please - Wife Misses Friends, Wants to return to KH

Mad Sweeney

The topic says it all. I am frustrated and dumbfounded. I understand that she misses the social activity with her "friends" but we have been "VERY" busy socially the last several months with NEW friends and she's been having a great time. She also KNOWS it's ALL false.

But her KH "friends" won't associate with her unless she goes to meetings so she's wanting to go to a few meetings a month to keep them appeased and renew associations.

I'm like, WHA?!? They are willing to ignore you as if you were dead to them if you don't go to meetings and you STILL want to be friends with them?

I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to say to her.

asilentone

You can tell her that JWs are too conditional(emotional blackmail), etc.....Can she see the fakeness of JW friendships? I am sure that you can figure out what to say to her after my comments, I hope.

The Scotsman

You could perhaps mention that if they were true friends they would not attach conditions to the friendship.

But - I have to admit this is a tricky situation.

blondie

I don't know what to say because I don't know for sure what she is thinking. But I can surmise. One, she hasn't formed the same depth of friendship with these new people. It takes time as it did with her old "friends." I moved a lot and it took time even at the KH to find new "friends." Now I know my so-called "friends" at the KH never were. Do friends put conditions on their friendships if they are true friends? Does she think these people will settle for a couple of meetings a month? Doesn't the WTS tell its members to be cautious around those who aren't REGULAR in meeting attendance? I couldn't sit through a meeting now (I even have the phone access password for 2 congregations and can't last more than 2 minutes without vomiting). Is there still some lingering belief in the WTS doctrines? I have my husband and that means more to me than anyone at the KH.

Here's hoping that your friendships away from the KH continue deepening.

Love, Blondie

transhuman68

Nobody likes losing friends- it feels like a little part of you has died. See if your wife can invite her KH friends around to your house, or she can visit them; if they won't do that she will be able to at least see what sort of friends they are. Just an idea...

Titus

Every person who decides to leave Jehovah's Witnesses must SUBSTITUTE many things. Including friends, activities and beliefs. You cannot just leave it and fall into the nothingness. That's like leaving the airplane without parachute. You must be prepared for that. Now, think about her - how did you help her to substitute her these things?

blondie

Titus, MadSweeney said they had been forming new friendships and activities:

I understand that she misses the social activity with her "friends" but we have been "VERY" busy socially the last several months with NEW friends and she's been having a great time.

Titus

Then I don't understand why she misses friends from KH. The substitution must be something equal. That's the problem, maybe. I don't know. My opinion only...

I mean - you cannot jump with umbrella!

looloo

if she dosnt work , encourage her to do so , she will meet lots more new friends and wont have time for fake ones !

mentallyfree31

Here's my thought: maybe once she associates with some witnesses and realizes that she has to "pretend" the whole time and hold in her true feelings she will see the light. Because if she ever reveals her true feelings to dubs, they will not have anything to do with her from that point forward. I realize that you don't want her to get sucked back into the cult, but if she knows it's a joke I just don't see how she can listen to dubs talking about all their crazy and ridiculous ideas and still "want" to be close friends.

Just my thoughts.

-mentallyfree31-

Help Please - Wife Misses Friends, Wants to return to KH

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