According to the example of Jehovahs Witnesses NO.
They pretend to be christian all the time...
oz
Is It Wrong To Pretend??
by chron82 29 Replies latest jw friends
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AnnOMaly
Hi chron82. View your situation along the lines of 'doing a David in Gath' where he pretended to be something he wasn't until he could safely escape (1 Sam. 21:12,13). It's fine for the short term, but believe me, the longer you have to pretend the unhealthier it is both spiritually and mentally.
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chron82
yknot – I am not in the same congregation as my family. They live about 1.5 hours away… However, as we all know, there are enough connections between here and there that they can find out what’s going on in my congregation.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am currently in the process of “stepping aside” from being a ministerial servant. I have already had to meet with the elders three times about my decision. While I’ve gone into the meetings mentally prepared to stand my ground, it is still emotionally draining to sit through the guilt ridden lectures. This week we have the circuit overseer and the elders have informed me that he will want to meet with me as well. The hardest part about these meetings to me is listening to the brothers twist the scriptures to try to make me feel bad about myself. Meanwhile these are the same scriptures I’ve loyally defended my entire life.
I feel like it’s a form of mental torture. You sit there and listen to what you know full well to be garbage, and have a completely logical and factual reason for doing what you’re doing… If these men were really there to care for me, then why should I not be able to state that “I know this isn’t the truth and do not wish to represent or coerce others to be part of something that I no longer believe in.” The reason I can’t say that is because I would be marked as evil and if my opinion couldn’t be changed, they would strip me of communication from my family. The system itself is what is sick and evil. So instead of speaking the truth, I continue to claim private “personal issues” as the reason for stepping aside and because of this I am viewed and treated as someone holding back good from others and someone who has tired out quickly and given into Satan.
Why do I allow myself to endure such torture? I have done so in order that my family will not cut me off immediately. I just want a little more time to gently convey my feelings to them. The funny part is… in the end my family will probably side with my torturers. It’s almost a comedy.
I will stand up for what is truth and what is right. That is the type of person I have always claimed to be. But right now, for the sake of my sanity and emotional well-being, I will fight one battle at a time. I will start with the elder body and circuit overseer and once I’ve recovered from this torture, I’ll move on to the next battle… my family.
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nancy drew
It's terrible that its this way its alot like the days of the spanish inquistion fortunately the law won't let them torture and kill us physically but they will do whatever they can get away with and if they could they would begin the stoning and hand the first one to your relatives. It's a drag join the club. however there's always the chance your relatives will awaken.
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mindmelda
Why the hell not? They don't think it's wrong to lie to other people to preserve their beliefs to those wordly people who are all trying to destroy them because they're Satan's dupes. Why should it be wrong to lie to them to preserve your own beliefs?
That's only reasonable if you still believe that they have some special worthiness that makes them too sacred and loved by God to be lied to. Do you think God is going to punish you for lying to Witnesses?
I can assure you, that doesn't happen. I lie to Witnesses all the time in my fade, mostly family members who live far away and so far, no lightening bolts. At least, not in the last 7 years.
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Quandry
I continue to claim private “personal issues” as the reason for stepping aside and because of this I am viewed and treated as someone holding back good from others and someone who has tired out quickly and given into Satan.
Yes, but what else can you do right now? No one can guilt like JWs can guilt! They have mastered the art over years of crafting!! They may use the "C'mon, you can tell me anything" line, but you know better.
At least now you can take time to distance yourself slowly. Eventually, they will lose interest in you. Then, you can decide what to tell your family, if anything at all.
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Lady Liberty
Dear Chron82,
We WELCOME both you and your wife to the forum!! We are so happy your learning the truth about the "truth"!! You know one thing I have learned since leaving..is to try and be understanding and non judgemental towards others. That being said, you need to do what is right for you and your family. If you are trying to preserve family ties, who could blame you?? Your not teaching a lie to others...you would not believe how many here are going through the motions, doing what your doing...some even going out in service..or actually writing down time, and pretending to go..all to preseve their family ties. Hang in there...many here are in your shoes, and you will find much needed support here!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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moshe
I wonder how many of these dead people in Jonestown were just "pretending"?
Society gives honor to those who keep their integrity and stand up for the truth- no matter how great the personal cost. Fakers and faders leave by the back door of the KH, because they lack courage, conviction and they are selfish. In my experience here, not many ex-JW's have made a public mea culpa to atone for their involvement in a cult and for the human damage they were a part of, either.
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StAnn
All I can give you is my experience. (And, yes, I do believe in the scriptures.) I pretended and tried to fade. I bent over backwards and took all kinds of crap off of my family for 10+ years after "fading" just to keep them in my life. Finally, one day, my father asked me a nasty question about the WTBTS and I gave him an honest answer. That was the end. No one in my family has spoken to me since and it's been 1 year and 4 months. I WISH I HADN'T PLAYED THEIR STUPID GAMES FOR ALL OF THOSE YEARS. I feel that all of the years I spent trying to appease them were wasted years that only postponed the inevitable and caused me a lot of emotional pain. I had to accept that my family members who were in the WTS simply weren't normal and didn't have the normal feelings toward me that one expects family members to have. The WTS destroys those blood bonds. I was bending over backwards to accommodate them and they were just barely tolerating me because I wasn't fully a JW.
You cannot sit in a Kingdom Hall and subject yourself to their ravings for long without losing your mind. It's like asking, "If I just drink a little poison every week and not drink the whole dose that the JWs are drinking, it won't hurt me, will it?" Yes, it will. Staying at the KH is slowly poisoning your mind, your soul, your heart.
Hard as this may sound, cut your losses now and accept that, as long as your family are JWs, you will be an outcast. Their love for you has been made very conditional by their belief system. And don't keep thinking you're going to help them leave the JWs. They won't leave unless they want to and it will be their journey, just as this is your journey. Best thing you can do is move on and let them see how much better life is without the WTBTS in it. (After the initial grief, of course.)
StAnn
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Black Sheep
Another option is to take them out while they think you are still a faithful Dubbie.
You would have to be the last one out. It's a tough call. It could take years or you could blow your cover too early and stuff it up.
Welcome to the forum
Chris
