Is It Wrong To Pretend??

chron82

At the current time, my wife and I are just trying to fade away in order to keep family ties on my side. Last night my wife said that she feels bad about being affiliated with the witnesses at all. I too feel bad about it.... I don't want to be responsible for misleading people.

I told her that in order to keep communication between myself and my family open, I can justify going to meetings. I will not go out in field service or comment, because I feel like I'm promoting the societies' beliefs. However, I told her that I totally support her decision no matter what it is. I don't want her to violate her conscience.

My question is directed more towards those that still believe in the authenticity of the Bible, or who can reason against the society using the scriptures... Is it scriptually wrong to pretend that I'm a Jehovah's Witness and to attend meetings if I'm not commenting or going out in field service? If it is, can you tell me why you believe so and if possible, provide scriptual backing?

I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you.

snowbird

Hi there and welcome.

I haven't been to a meeting since 2005; I have a daughter who is very much a JW, but I just can't pretend.

This Scripture sums it up for me.

Romans 14:22 -23 Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong. MSG

Blessings and peace to you.

Sylvia

undercover

My question is directed more towards those that still believe in the authenticity of the Bible, or who can reason against the society using the scriptures... Is it scriptually wrong to pretend that I'm a Jehovah's Witness and to attend meetings if I'm not commenting or going out in field service? If it is, can you tell me why you believe so and if possible, provide scriptual backing?

Limiting opinions to those believe in the authenticity of the Bible is going to limit the number of answers, I'm afraid...

...but I'm gonna give one anyway...plus I can reason agasint the WTS using the scriptures

Pretending to be a JW in order to preserve family ties or to avoid the ugly inquisition from elders is pefectly okay. The Bible speaks of Christian freedom, but the WTS doesn't adhere to it. So do what you have to do survive being trapped in a cult. If you have to pretend til the time you can leave or stand up and and make a stand, do it.

If you like, you can call this not being perfectly honest the same thing the WTS calls it; Theocratic Strategy. They declare that not sharing info with those not deserving it is fine and proper, so by your not sharing info with them as you pretend to be one is keeping within this same strategy.

Welcome, by the way...

awildflower

Jesus condemned the Pharisees for being something they weren't. He said they were like "white-washed graves" looks pretty on the outside but full of dead bones on the inside. To me Jesus was saying to not be a hypocrite, live an authentic life. I'm not saying your being a hypocrite by your standards but would people see you as one or accuse you of being one based on your actions, which is what people have to go by?

Not living an authentic life will cause all kinds of problems with you physically and emotionally. How do you feel?

Elsewhere

Nothing "wrong" per se, but it is hard on the nerves.

To thine own self be true. You may have to pay a heavy price, but there is no price too great for freedom.

chron82

snowbird - thank you for that scripture. I will deff keep that in mind. You put it perfectly.

undercover - thank you for your response. I feel much the same. I didn't mean to limit responses.. thats why I added "or who can reason against the society using the scriptures." The scriptures will be useful when reasoning with my JW family.

awildflower - I do feel unstable emotionally and twisted internally... and I know I can't live like this forever. But my hope is to last long enough to at least persuade my family to not cut me off completely. My brother is an elder, so most likely he will be through with me once I let the truth be known. While he has always been my best friend and losing his friendship will be horrible, I am more concerned for my mother. My father wasn't a JW and died when he was only 38 and I was only 13. My mother has always leaned on my brother and I for love and support. She is a shy and quiet person, so she doesn't have many friends. I know that she would probably cut me off as well.... because she would want to do what is best for me and she will think that is what would be best for me. I just feel horrible putting her through even more turmoil when she has already gone through so much. While I believe it would be much easier on me to just end it now... I'm hoping giving it time will persuade her... even if just a little.

JWoods

You may have to pay a heavy price, but there is no price too great for freedom.

And it might be worth mentioning, that if you feel the need to pretend, you do not really have true freedom. Pretending is action to compensate for the JWs intolerance of others.

Gregor

I feel for anyone trying to get free of the "tar baby" right now.

The WTB&TS is enjoying a period of earthquakes, world financial crises, terrorism and looming nuclear threats. JW's are in a state of dithering ecstasy. My only advice is to have some pointed questions ready to lay out to your brother so that you can at least leave with him on the defensive rather than you!

I never recommend playing along to get along. But that's just me.

I wish you well.

awildflower

awildflower - I do feel unstable emotionally and twisted internally... and I know I can't live like this forever.

That is my concern for you. And believe me it will get worse physically for you, but you'll come to a place where you know you can't take it anymore.

But my hope is to last long enough to at least persuade my family to not cut me off completely.

This might be a loosing battle (granted I don't know all the facts) it's just that we know and have seen that how your family decides to deal with you, has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with them and their "relationship with Jehovah and their loyalty to the organization", unfortunately. I might be more impressed with a family member who was willing to do what was authentic to them no matter the cost. If I were a jw family member who watched another jw member leave and then left later myself, I might look back on the situation and admire that in the person who left first. When you live authentically, people see that, they feel it in your presence, the happiness and love is undeniable and that "helps" them more. They may never make a statement about it or change how they treat you, but they'll remember how they feel around an authentic person. I hear in you your love for your family and your trying to do what you think is best with the information you have to work with right now. I just wonder what would benefit them more? You staying to "help" them, or you living authentically, for the long run outcome? Either way it's just another example of what a cult does to everyone involved

cult classic

"I just feel horrible putting her through even more turmoil when she has already gone through so much."

Welcome chron82 - You will find your way. But you should know that you are not responsible for how your mother responds to your decisions. That is another form of slavery that you can do without. The witnesses are masters at treating those who leave badly and then blaming the strained relationship on the other guy. WRONG WRONG WRONG!

I don't think it is healthy to pretend. So don't pretend. Just don't divulge all of your thoughts and intentions. If you choose to go to the meetings for your mother, that's not pretending, it's just going along to keep her company. Like UC said, theocratic strategy!

Hang in there!

Is It Wrong To Pretend??

Share this