The scriptures will be useful when reasoning with my JW family.
Maybe...maybe not. More likely probably not. JWs are indoctrinated to believe the WT application/interpretation of scripture. That means even if you can show them from the Bible why it's okay to take a blood transfusion (and you can) they still will not accept that Biblical reasoning because it does not align with WT reasoning.
I know I can't live like this forever. But my hope is to last long enough to at least persuade my family to not cut me off completely.
There is no one certain way to deal with this situation. Each one is unique enough that what works for one person won't work for another. But this much usually holds true: nothing you say...no amount of evidence...no logic you use...is going to cause someone to give up something they want to believe. As long as they want to believe, they're going to believe. If and when the time comes that they themselves question, then you can reason with them.
The reason I say that is that if you're trying to fade away, slowly, little by little, become inactive, then voicing your doubts and questioning the WT doctrine openly with JW family and friends will only make you a target for elders who will want to keep the congregation clean of apostates. If you want to fade out, then discretion is the better part of valor. Don't say too much or let on too much. Loose lips sinks ships and all that...
As was pointed out already, pretending to be a JW is not being true to yourself...in the long run. It is a means to an end if you are looking to fade away entirely. I faded and disappeared. I have JW family and as long as I do, there will be some JWism in my life...but I don't pretend anymore. I'm out and no one gives me much shit about it anymore, except to be invited to Memorials and the occasional reminders that Armageddon is due anytime. I am talked about behind my back and I am seen as rebellious, weak and apostate. Whatever...sticks and stones...
There are pros and cons to speaking up and DAing/getting DFd or staying on the down low and slipping away. It all depends on our particular circumstance. I am one to try to never tell one what they should or shouldn't do in the situation because what worked for me might not work for you.
Though I faded, there are strong truths in what JWoods and Gregor said. Ultimately you will have to decide what is best for you and go with your plan.
My original post was in answer to the question "is it okay to pretend..." and I still say yes. You don't owe the WTS anything. If you have to lie and cheat in order to gain some freedom and sanity then yes, lie and cheat your way out of that cult. But I guess it can be asked, "are you pretending in order to fake them out, or fake yourself out?" If you're trying to fake yourself out, then you will be tormented and disappointed....not to mention never really free.