Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Atheist

by BurnTheShips 61 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • eric356
    eric356

    This is classic trolling, but why not indulge? I'm human too.

    The list should be called "Top Ten Ways to Show That the Poster is Either Intellectually Dishonest or Handicapped."

    1. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for all the "evils" in the world, all the natural disasters, and everything else under the sun that is wrong in modern society.

    You don't know what 'atheist' means, do you?

    2. You think that it is possible to talk meaningfully about "good and evil" "right and wrong" when criticizing the sins of Christians while simultaneously subscribing to the notion that neither sin nor good and evil exist as ultimate categories but only as personal and social constructs.

    Haven't read any moral philosophy or metaethics, either.

    3. You think that human beings are merely the products of blind, uncaring, evolution but when it comes to human reason (a product of the same process) we can believe in it without question!

    Who needs epistemology?

    4. You believe that when the Founders are framing the Constitution, they're staunch non-Christians, but when they're beating their slaves, they're Bible-believing Christians.

    Doesn't really matter, but the definition of 'Founders' here is suspect.

    5. When you use a historical point to prove Christianity is false, history is objective truth. When a Christian uses historical evidence to prove you false, history was written by subjective men and therefore cannot be trusted.

    More ignorance of how historians actually do their work.

    6. You insist that "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence", then claim that Jesus never existed.

    Oblivious to the fact that positive claims require evidence, not negative ones.

    7. You accuse Christians of being intolerant, judgmental and hateful, while you foam at the mouth calling them lunatics, ignorant, weak-minded, and stupid.

    But some of them *are* stupid lunatics. The definition of Christian here is insufficiently descriptive.

    8. You think atheists are treated like second-class citizens. Then you spend most of your day belittling Christians and other religious people on JWN.

    Oh, boo hoo. Someone made fun of your god on a forum. Alert me when you are the most distrusted minority group in America and are de facto excluded from running for public office. Also, you're part of a giant tax-free ecosystem that has huge political power, cheer up.

    9. You think "freethought" and "thinking for yourself" automatically means adopting an atheist viewpoint.

    No, just usually.

    10. You adamantly refuse to recognise the historical fact that "scientific atheism" was both a foundational philosophical position and an actual policy of the Soviet Union and other atheist states from the time of Lenin on, and responsible for massive persecution, torture, suffering, humiliation and death far in excess of the numbers of the "victims" of Christianity.

    Last time I read a history book, the Soviets were communist totalitarians, not just atheists.

    As we can see, fundamentalists, whether Atheist or Christian, have far more in common in how they think than they think.

    Yes, all humans are tribalistic. Everyone can make the same errors of judgement and reason.

    But I am enjoying assembling this little list, so let's carry on!

    11. You declare on a public forum that you are "furious at God for not existing."........!!!!

    Citation needed.

    12. You criticize Christians who believe in the Bible, and say that it can't possibly be true because it's just a book written by mere men, yet you never question any of Richard Dawkins' books.

    Facepalm.

    13. You claim, with a straight face, that "social Darwinism" and its child, eugenics, have absolutely no connection to the biological theories propounded by Charles Darwin in "On The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life"

    You probably haven't read The Origin of Species, and you certainly can't be asked to understand 19th century vocabulary. You do know that people understood breeding and were racist before Darwin, right?

    14. When the Pope says that God may have used evolution, he is an enlightened religious leader whom Christians should listen to. When the Pope preaches on the sanctity of human life from conception, and thus denounces abortion, he's just a senile religious bigot who should keep his opinions to himself.

    Screw the Pope.

    15. You think that religious wars have killed more people than any other kind of war, even though the largest wars of the last 200 years (World War I and II, Civil War, etc.) had no discernable religious causes.

    Kind of hard to run the numbers, but wars in the 20th century sure killed the most people at one time. Modern weapons and higher populations will do that. Also, it's impossible to count up all the minor tribal genocides, human sacrifices, witch burnings, etc. that theocratic thugs have troubled humans with since religion was invented.

    16. You assert that a fundamentalist Christian is an authentic Christian, but a non-fundamentalist one is "wishy-washy."

    What's an authentic Christian?

    17. You believe that Hitler claiming to be a Christian is undeniable proof that he was a Christian, while George Washington only claimed to be a Christian in order to win the people's favor.

    It's not clear what Hitler believed, but it doesn't seem that he was an atheist. Washington was a Christian.

    18. You demand that theists explain news items where bad things have happened to theists, even though no theists on the board have claimed that belief in God is some kind of a lucky charm that wards off bad luck.

    Stop talking about God blessing you then.

    19. You think that Reverend Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church does what he does because of his Christianity, but yet when other Christians give their lives in service to a good cause, they do this in spite of their Christianity.

    People are motivated by things they believe, film at 11.

    20. You are part of a non-belief organization such as American Atheists, Church of Freethought, Humanist Association of Canada, Student Freethought Alliance and/or the Council of Secular Humanism. You claim these organizations have absolutely no creeds and that the people involved independently think of different things from one another. Yet of course, on your organization's website they define the commonalities that all non-believers follow. Is that not the definition of creed?

    Common goals are not a creed. Also, I don't chant "separation of church and state" repeatedly with music in the background.

  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter

    the largest wars of the last 200 years (World War I and II, Civil War, etc.) had no discernable religious causes.

    I would not go so far as to say "no discernable religious causes". The Civil War was motivated by the abolitionist movement, and that was religiously based. It wasn't a sectarian religious war, but religious beliefs did play a significant part in bringing about the conflict.

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