Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

by thetrueone 28 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian


    1 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    2 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    3 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    4 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    5 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    6 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    7 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


    8 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    9 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    10 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

    I've always liked the way these gave insight into a bit of human psychology

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Awesome!

    Oh... and Talking Snakes that walk upright and eat dirt sounds perfectly reasonable.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    Brilliant!! Kinda puts it all in perspective...

  • THE GLADIATOR
    THE GLADIATOR

    You walk around with a parrot on your shoulder?

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    You walk around with a parrot on your shoulder?

    You just couldn't resist, could you?

  • PSacramento
    PSacramento

    So, which denominations would be viewed as fundamentalist?

  • notverylikely
    notverylikely

    So, which denominations would be viewed as fundamentalist?

    Generally the least fun ones....

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt
    So, which denominations would be viewed as fundamentalist?

    Many of them proudly ADMIT to being 'Fundamentalist' and wear the label as a badge of honor. They view themselves as being 'pure', unlike the 'Liberal' Christians who 'choose' a denomination that fits their lifestyle.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Fundamentalist_denominations

  • PSacramento
    PSacramento

    So, like Presbyterians and Evangelicals?

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    PSac -- For me, the test is this: Do you believe that the Bible is the literal, inerrant word of Almighty God?

    Yes = Fundamentalist

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