How many you you hated to wait in the car while someone was on a good call!

by life is to short 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Something I have not heard before on this board is waiting in the car out in service or any of the woman who were elders wives waiting on their husbands while in an elders meeting.

    I was 24 years old when I got married to an older man he was 41 and had been an elder for about 12 years. I truly loved my husband when we got married. I did not marry him because he was an elder, I married him because I loved him. I have been accused of marrying him for his being an elder by older sisters. My husband had no money when we got married, hardly worked and pioneered. I truly loved him like crazy. I thought at the age of 24 I knew everything. The system was going to end before my husband got to much older and we would live forever in love. I thought we could live on love. When that did not work, I worked and he still hardly worked and I supported us and all the other pioneers who could not work because of PMS. That was a fun time in my life.

    I came from a very abusive family and was raised around the "truth."

    Well before my husband married me he was asked by a CO to move to this hall in the country that needed help. He was the only elder for about the first three years of our marriage. I had no idea what being an elders wife was like. I saw the elders wives I grew up with and they all got rides home from the meetings when there were long elders meetings. That did not happen for me. Being my husband was the only elder, I was expected to just wait for him, and being we lived half an hour from the hall plus had little money it was not like I could just drive home and come back to pick him up so I waited for him in the car as the hall was so small I could hear what was being said in the back room. I waited and waited and waited.

    Then there was field service. It was all in the country. Driving and driving. Our territory covered 70 miles one way and 50 the other way. There were times I would sit in the car for hours when someone got a good call and they just had to stay because we had come so far and this person just had to know the "truth."

    Even in the city, waiting for someone on a good call. I just hate sitting. I am a very active person who likes to walk and be productive. To just sit and sit and sit while you are waiting drives me crazy. My husband said it was good for me as it built character in me. It was good for me to sit and wait. I felt like I would go crazy sometimes.

    The worst was when there would be four of us in the car and I was locked in the car with a JW who had mental problems. OH MY GOD this one brother heard voices in his head (probably many others did too but I just did not know it). My husband left me in the car with with the voices in the head brother for half an hour while he was on this great call a little over a year ago. If I had, had a gun I would have blown my brains out. How do you talk to someone who is hearing voices when you are not trained in mental health. If I said something that got this brother upset he would really start to freak out.

    So many days I would go home from service or the meetings and just wish I was dead. I hated life.

    So did many of you go through the same thing or was I just the only one who had this happen to me.

    Life really is to short to spend locked in the box of a car.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I can relate to the waiting waiting waiting for elders meetings, because my dad was an elder and there would be times we (me, mum and sister) would have to wait while Dad was involved in an elders meeting. We also lived in the country although we lived not too far from the Hall so at least we didn’t have a long ride home. But I definitely remember sitting in a very empty Hall.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    When i was 'in' i actually liked having to sit in the car while others were on a call! It meant less people i had to talk to that day, even as a reg pioneer i did not enjoy F/S. Our territory went for miles in the country so it was not uncommon to drive 2 hours to do a return visit.

    I am 47 and my wife is 30... same age gap as you and yours. Sadly i must say, your husband has/is treating you badly by making you wait and even more so with the 'character building' crap, I'm not saying he didn't love you ( reading between the lines it sounds like you are not together) but what you discribe are not loving actions either.

    If you are still together i would tell him to read the may watchtower study article on how to treat his wife. Really read it. He has not demonstrated respect, honour nor understanding in his dealings as far as i can deduce.

    thats my say anyway!

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    I loved waiting in the car. The longer they were in a house, the less I had to knock on doors.

    HappyDad

  • Mutz
    Mutz

    +1 with HappyDad, if they were busy with a great call it meant I didn't have to feel uncomfortable on a doorstep.

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Aussie Oz

    No we are still married but our marriage is very rocky. Once I have started learning the truth about the "truth" and realizing all that my husband put me through for this religion I am just really bitter.

    I think coming from such an abusive childhood I was not able to choose wisely in a marriage mate. I wish I could smack my 24 year old self for being so sure of herself. I did not give myself a chance to grow up.

    Part of my problem with the age difference now is I think OK I am the age you were when you married me. I thought my husband was so smart and knew everything when we got married. I am thinking now that I am the age he was when he married me that really you could not see this was a cult? You really could not see that? I thought you were so intelligent when we were first married but really you gave your life, lived on nothing, said all Jehovah had to give you was a can of soup once a day and that was fine with you. What were you thinking getting married. That you could feed your wife one can of soup a day and that would be fine. The other wives were buying cloths and new cars getting their hair done, going on date night which we could never do. My husband told me to keep my blinders on and not to look to closely at what others do. Really? I was working 30 hours a week to support us while he supported everyone else.

    I guess I just wanted to be treated like I mattered, not that everyone else mattered more then me which is what happened.

    I do not know where our marriage is headed. Life is hard in this religion for sure. My husband devotion to the religion slowly killed my love for him how sad.

    LITS

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I agree waiting in the car beat trying to talk to someone but why waste your life sitting in a car trying to drag someone else into a cult? This religion is such a waste of life. All the time we spent trying to get other people to join a cult. How sad.

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    I with those above that didn't mind sitting and waiting. If I HAD to be there, I'd rather not talk if I can get out of it. Even now, I don't mind waiting in line or at the doctors. I can let my mind wonder to another place, in an instant. -

    As a child growing up with an elder dad, we usually lived within walking distance of the KH. That was always a delight, walking back and forth to ther meetings all dressed up.

    lisa

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Our territory was made up of small cities, sub divisions and rural area. Waiting didn't bother me, as I also did my share of making people wait. I liked working with the elderly sisters and would just use the time to entertain them or relate anecdotes.

    Think About It

  • WuzLovesDubs
    WuzLovesDubs

    It sounds to me like sitting in the car and waiting or the hall and waiting were just continuations of you waiting for your life to start happening...like EVER. Im sure that life was not what you signed up for. It was cruel of him to leave you in the car with that unstable person. Its a good thing one of those voices didnt tell him you were satan and he should strangle you or something. And Im not kidding about that.

    Do you see yourself as having any options now to go live on your own and actually LIVE your life?

    You poor thing.

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