Think of JW 's as Victims Instead of Enemies ? They get Conditional Love

by flipper 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Heaven

    Mr. Flipper... I hope the rest of your family can see the fallacies of the WTS and leave. Showing real love is very important. It flies in the face of what they are taught by the Watchtower -- that worldly people are evil.

    What have some of you folks done to reach out to your JW family ?

    In my immediate family, I guess what I have done is ignore their attempts at cutting me off. Things have been difficult but I made the effort to stay in touch. There are different ways of doing this. I think your picture sending is a great way. I don't live close to my family so I make sure I call them, use e-mail with my neice and nephews, and make the effort to visit as much as I can. Now, I am spending more time visiting my Father who is needing help because he is aging. You are so right when you say the cult hasn't delivered on their promises. Even my Aunt stated she didn't expect to get old. Whenever my Dad brings up Watchtower stuff, I have tried to kindly and lovingly show him that their beliefs don't add up.

    For some people, though, having a relationship with family is not possible. When you have family that have physically or sexually abused you, I am not sure it is wise to continue a relationship with them. I don't think I could do it. I am lucky in that my folks were not like this. They did do some unloving things but it wasn't this type of abuse and I now know it is because of the indoctrination.

    I believe we are all in a unique position to try and help our loved ones as long as the relationship isn't dangerous or toxic. They are victims and do need help. My philosophy has always been to try and execute on the Golden Rule and on Stephen Covey's '7 Habits'. So far, this is working as my Dad stays in touch and says things like "It's real good to hear your voice." and "I am looking forward to seeing you." I always make a point to try and get him laughing when I talk to him or see him. This is important as this is part of his authentic, pre-cult personality. I also make sure I tell him I love him. He does the same.

    I hope one day that we as a family (me, my Dad, my bro and his kids) can all get together again like we used to before my parents decided to get baptized. We'll see how things go.

  • flipper

    HEAVEN- Thanks. I really like your methods . Especially not allowing your family to cut you off. I think that is a stroke of genius, because then you don't give ANY validity to their obscene shunning policy. I try to do the same with my JW older dad , just try to make him laugh and be authentic with him and my JW mom. Both of them are in their mid-80's now. The JW cult will NEVER deliver on it's promises to them- so this enables me to feel compassion for them in a way that they don't receive at the Kingdom hall. But you are right- bringing out the pre-cult personality is the best way to reach these relatives. I wish you the best with your family ! Hope you can reach them in time more and more

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