Think of JW 's as Victims Instead of Enemies ? They get Conditional Love

by flipper 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    they prefer to not research/discuss/think about, anything that might possibly contradict their beliefs system.

    I don't view it as a preference. It is an indoctrinated (conditioned) response that often takes some sort of shock to overcome.

  • wavvy

    lovely mr. flipper! Thanks... it's easy to get caught up in 'poor me' thinking, just focusing on the idea of ourselves as victims. Of course we were, but we are the lucky ones now. We've come to our senses and escaped. Good to try and move on from the bitterness of that and be able to demonstrate some unconditional love to those who are still trapped.

  • flipper

    ZIDDINA- I agree that JW's have made a decision to stay in the organization - however " fear " and " guilt " are used by the WT society to coerce them to MAKE that decision. They are not allowed to do ANY outside research to look into the society's teachings honestly- or they risk being expelled or called apostate. They are only told they can research the WT publications. So really, what option do they have - but to stay inside the organization. They are told God will destroy them if they leave ! I'd say fear is a pretty strong motivating force - you think ? But I like your idea of giving your parents a swift kick in the rear end though ! LOL ! I have some JW relatives I wouldn't mind doing that to as well ! They act so boorish in their behavior sometimes.

    WOBBLE- My situation is like yours in many ways. My age parents 85 and 83 are NOT leaving the witnesses after almost 60 years in. Nor are my older siblings. So like you- I am concentrating working on the younger generation ( 18 - 35 ) yr.old nieces , nephews, and my 2 daughters to try to show unconditional love and see what happens ! You just never know . Like John Lennon once said, " As long as there's life, there's hope, you know ? "

    BLACK SHEEP- I'll have to check on your posts and threads and see where it was that you stated to " view JW's as victims instead of enemies ". I'll come back and post it on this thread when I find it. It's a good thought though, thanks. I agree- I don't take any BS from my JW family anymore either . But I'll be there for them if they have doubts.

    MAD SWEENEY- I agree. It's not really a preference by the JW's , it's more of a " conditioned preference ". I mean- they are controlled to believe this mind control drivel or be looked at as wicked- cast out into the " world " and faced with death at an aleged " Armageddon ". I'd say that would motivate most of them to not question it. To the WT society- the use of fear is a great aphrodisiac.

    WAVVY- Good point you make. I mean- we could be very bitter and stay bitter - but I've found what hELPS me with my bitter feelings towards the Jehovah's Witness organization is by helping others deal with life after exiting themselves. Also I get satisfaction in trying to assist relatives still inside by showing them that we are decent people AFTER exiting the JW's. By showing unconditional caring we might just shake loose the mental cobwebs inside their heads

  • flipper

    Bump to the top- important information from Steve Hassan to think about. All replies welcome ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • ziddina

    "But I like your idea of giving your parents a swift kick in the rear end though ! LOL ! I have some JW relatives I wouldn't mind doing that to as well ! They act so boorish in their behavior sometimes...."

    LOL! Thanks, Flipper!

    But, just to clarify my comments a bit... I said, "Somewhere in the depths of each JW's mind, they've made a decision to continue believing in the organization, rather than look into its teachings and origins, honestly..."

    I made that comment based quite specifically upon my parents' and ONLY my parents' behavior... They were MASSIVE hypocrites; would do whatever they thought they could get away with, like going out to look at Christmas lights, buying us "non"-Christmas presents, using porn as sexual assists... to name just a few...

    With all that disobedience and dishonesty - and, incidentally, they also had National Geographic, Life and Time magazines, and 'worldly' encyclopedias in the house, to name a few sources - then why the heck didn't they disobey injunctions to do research, too???

    I remember asking them whether I should go ahead and read William J. Whalen's book, "Armageddon Around the Corner", when I was about 10 years old. They didn't give a d*mn; told me to go ahead if I wanted to... They just never got off their lazy duffs long enuf to do a little research themselves...

    That's the reason for my comment - and attitude... Personal experience - most JWs WILL break "Mother's" commandments if it's something they REALLY WANT to do...

    [by the way, that book is written by a Catholic layman; mildly complimentary to the JWs and was often quoted by the WTBTS... But when I read the entire book, I recognized the validity of his criticisms of the WTBTS; one comment that particularly stuck in my mind was his statement that the JWs were "anti-marriage"... Even at the age of 10 I recognized the truth of THAT comment...]


  • dgp


  • freeflyingfaerie

    That was well put, Flipper.

    We were all victims in a sense too, before we left. So I try to remember that when they act cold. Although I personally dont recall ever treating anyone the way my family and friends do now that im df'd, i still love them and do see them as victims. So when it comes to hoping they'll wake up and smell the coffee, i go with the idea that you draw more flies with honey than with vinegar..but man its hard to be the bigger person when they deal out such dogmatic, nonsensical crap..and hurtful words like " we love Jehovah more than we love you, we choose him."

    I still say i love you and give them hugs if ever i see them. My mom becomes a stone pillar when i do, but im not going to stop being me, i feel like hugging and saying i love you..if they feel awkward about it, maybe someday their natural feelings will eclipse the training they keep getting

  • flipper

    ZIDDINA- Yeah these JW relatives can sure drive me nuts as well sometimes ! Actually- quite often. LOL !

    But yes, I see the point you are making for sure. If your parents did things breaking the organization's rules like you stated- then WHY didn't they do research on their own as well ? So I see the reasons it makes you wonder about them. If they REALLY wanted to do research they would have. Perhaps they were only " independent minded " in small increments. Wanted to have their freedom from elders watchful eyes on the side in their personal life - yet pursued the " outward " appearance of conforming to the congregation's rules so as to make a " good appearance " to the elders to stay in good graces . It's the old adage, " Have your cake and eat it too " syndrome. I knew a lot of witnesses who were that way. I'm glad you did your own outside research my dear friend ZIDD ! Good for you ! It has enabled you to break free from the horrid mind control which has our relatives so deeply in it's grasp. Freedom is great, isn't it ?

    DGP- Thanks for the mark.

    FREEFLYINGFAIRIE- Good points you bring out. I don't recall ever treating my JW relatives as badly as they've treated me either. Yes, it is tough to continue being patient . I've got 2 JW adult daughters who virtually treat me like I'm dead. But I just try to remember that they are " mentally " sick due to the influence of cult mind control. Like you say- in time hopefully by us showing unconditional love and caring our JW families natural feelings will eclipse the training they had like you mentioned. I wish you the best of luck with your family as well. Very good thoughts ! Thank you, Peace out, mr. Flipper

  • flipper

    BTTT, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • mentallyfree31

    I agree 100% that they are victims.

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