for those that married in the "truth"

by rockmehardplace 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • rockmehardplace
    rockmehardplace

    how long did you date? i was reading another post by EXMS and he mentioned three years. in the area where i am at, three years would have never been accepted. most times, it was 6 months to 1 year of courtship and a date for a wedding must be set or you were moving on. also, you could not just date someone for a few months, then move on to someone else. if you chose to date someone, it was with the mindset that you were marrying. if the first one didnt work, you had one more chance before it was severly frowned upon.

  • ~Jen~
    ~Jen~

    We dated 2 years from our first date to the date of our wedding - so about a year and a half before the proposal. Where I lived as well it was the general idea that you dated 6 months. I had so much pressure from very emotionally abusive parents - trying to manipulate me into believing that he didn't love me and because he hadn't proposed after 6 months that he was just using me. This led to to "rebel" and even though I knew he wasn't the right one, I still stayed with him and married him to "prove" them wrong and show them that he really did love me - even though I didn't love like I should have. Oh the mistakes we make...

  • teel
    teel

    We dated 2 years too. I was still fresh in the lie, so I didn't really understand by the standards we're taking too long. When the elders asked me about my intentions, I said the engagement is set to about half a year from now. I was a bit puzzled that they were looking at me like I'm doing something wrong, and asked me "so the wedding only comes later then?" I had no idea back then that they were expecting us to be married after at most 1 year.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    7 months

  • nugget
    nugget

    2 and a half years from initial date to wedding. Ours was a long distance relationship that grew over time. Initially we saw each other one evening a week in company with other witnesses and we were never on our own for more than a few minutes. It was 7 months from engagement to wedding. We took the view that this was forever so it was something we both had to be sure about.

    It made sense to take our time it makes me so annoyed to see young ones rush into marriage with little idea of what they are getting into or who they are marrying. No wonder there are so many marriage problems in the organisation.

  • lepermessiah
    lepermessiah

    1 year.....just because my wife and I got tired of commuting to see each other (200 miles apart)

    It makes me so annoyed to see young ones rush into marriage with little idea of what they are getting into or who they are marrying

    I couldnt agree more Nugget. It usually Kids marrying Kids who cant wait to jump in the sack. Once the thrill of that is gone and reality sets in, many of the marriages are either miserably unhappy or end with one of the mates cheating. Im sure cantleave spent many a long night (as most of us did as elders) counseling married young people who were totally unhappy.

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    just under a couple of years , married "in the Lord" in May 1990 separated by the fall of 1995, divorced shortly after, never thought we'd make the first anniversary. Pretty much the less said the better , terrible period of my life

  • St George of England
    St George of England

    Under 6 months from first date to wedding. Both raised as JW's.

    George

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    Goerge, where you from in the UK?

  • tinker
    tinker

    I was barely 17 had lots of friends but never dated. Met a pioneer bro, dated 1 mo, pushed to engagement, graduated high school, married 1 mo after my 18th Bday. So less than 1yr from Hello to Another One Bites the Dust. It didn't last. I stayed IN and dated a few other brothers here and there. I met a bro from England, kind of a fringe JW type, we got on well but not the marring type. He said something profound onetime, "JW's take more time to pick out a car than they do a marriage mate"

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