Hmm this could be tricky - I am going to a JW wedding.

by The Scotsman 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Scotsman
    The Scotsman

    Yes a close family member of mine is getting married next weekend and me and Mrs Scotsman have been invited.

    To set the scene - I have not been to a meeting in 2 years, 2 months and for Mrs Scotsman it is just under 2 years - so we have not seen any of our ex JW associates since then - but they will all be at the wedding!!!!

    We are not DAd or DFd so they will be able to talk to us if they feel the urge.

    The good thing is we are not the only Ex JWs/Non JWs going, so this will help.

    The worry I have is what some of these JWs might try. For many of them, the last time they seen me I was an elder flying the WT flag - now I am out the truth dead at Armageddon!

    We are both trying to get ourselves mentally prepared for the wedding day. We are determined to show that we are both happy without JW-ism and that life goes on - there is a life after WT!

    I know for a fact some Elder/MS types will be up at me asking what happened - why have I stopped attending etc.

    To be honest - we are both looking forward to the day - though it will be fairly awkward to begin with.

    So what should we expect - to be ignored or to be grilled?

    Any tips/experiences appreciated.

    Mr & Mrs Scotsman....

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    My suggestion is that you ignore/defer any talk about your beliefs or WTism.

    You’re there to celebrate the marriage of your two friends and nothing more.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    I feel your pain. I'm going to one in July with my new and improved worldly husband. been out for 2 years also. not DA or DF but they sure would like to find a reason too.... I think some people will be sincerly happy to see you, some will give you that fake happy to see you, some will ignore you, and maybe someone will ask what is stopping you from returning to Jehovah... my favorite is the LOOK.... with almost tears in there eyes they say "I miss you" and I just love to be happy when I run into one... They hate to see someone happy that left!!!

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    I do not think you will be preached at the Wedding, it is a very special day. Enjoy the wedding!

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    I would expect to get a couple of polite "where ya been brother"... But nothing too heavy. However if you flaunt something worthing of DF'ing like smoking, going to another church then you should expect to get invited to a Judical Comitte. But I think most will keep it light and friendly being a wedding. They might just see you as "discouraged". Just nod your head and smile and say thanks for the invite I might do that.... LOL...

  • The Scotsman
    The Scotsman
    with almost tears in there eyes they say "I miss you"

    I have thought of this and I was going to say if they missed me so much why did they not call! - To direct perhaps???

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    aSphereisnotaCircle

    Let them see how much your life has changed for the better.

    Be thrilled to see all your old JW friends.

    If anyone sez "we miss you", give them you phone number and tell them you would love to get together for a good visit and catch them up on all the new things in your life.

    I did this at a recent event, the JW's do not know how to reply to a happy "weak' person. Their eyes would get big and you could almost see the wheels trying to turn in their heads.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Good Luck. I have no advice for you except - eat, drink and be merry

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    Awesome! What an opportunity,,to be just yourselves, happy, content. It so confuses them.

    My husband & I just went with an DF'd ex-JW friend to a JW funeral. No one knew me there at that KH, been many years since I went. We, dressed JW dress code, were upbeat and friendly, meeting the family. Amazingly, many of her large JW family, most active, some inactive came up to talk with her just fine (maybe because we were there too - potential Bible Studies?) Even some who blatantly shunned her previously came up to her and us.

    During the song and prayer, my husband and I held hands the whole time. They don't like that. Hee-Hee!

  • The Scotsman
    The Scotsman
    Let them see how much your life has changed for the better.

    For us this is the key I think.

    Rather than getting into doctrinal/belief discussions - just showing that we left and survived, in fact are happier now is the most powerful message we can send I think.

    I am fairly certain that a "doctrinal" conversation would end up in bigger problems for us.

    Some of the Elders/MSs going are total "company men" and would walk over their own mothers for the WTBTS - so I need to be careful.

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