local elder stops by for a casual visit

by SnakesInTheTower 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    First of all, I never believe that any visit by an elder is truly casual. This particular elder was one of my closest friends from the time I first met him in the lobby of bethel during a tour, to the time he moved here from UK, to the time I left his congo. I posted elsewhere that he once came by the house and said "is there anything I can do to help you come back to the KH?" My response was to get my JW-only versions of the WT...his response was: "you know where the KH is located, you can get them there."

    Well....so much for the "anything" part of the help. When my JW mom heard about this and was here for a visit, she seen this former friend/current elder at the convention...he must have said the same thing to her because she was pissed at him.

    Forward to yesterday. My fiancee and I had just gotten home from grocery shopping and we were unloading the car and all of a sudden this guy pulls into the driveway. He has been attempting contact since shortly before the Memorial. I know this because my fiancee mentioned that his name and number popped up on the callerID at home. It no longer forwards to my cell phone voice mail, so it just rings and there is no answering machine. I wondered how long after not returning his calls that he would appear in my yard.

    I told my fiancee to go inside and I would be in to help put away groceries and start dinner in a couple of minutes. The elder, unsolicited, grabbed a couple of bags of groceries from the trunk of my car. He was trying to use that to get inside the house. I took the bags from him and brought them inside. My fiancee wanted to tell him off and I didnt want to go there. So I went back outside and kept him ...not even on the porch...but in the driveway. My body language was strong. My arms were crossed across my chest, my stance firm, looking directly at him with neither a smile or a frown. Sending a clear signal I did not want to talk to him. He did not get the point. We talked a little about this or that....no direct mention of the Borg, but as most of you know, a JW cannot have a conversation for very long before reverting to JW-subjects. He mentioned that his wife was going back to school since being laid off....hmmmm...could it be she was laid off because instead of working she is regular pioneering? hmmmmm.... After about 10 minutes...I told him that we were starting dinner and we had to get groceries put up and the 9YO doing his homework. We shook hands and he left.

    I figure as long as he is polite and not nosy, I will be polite and not be an a**hole.

    In any case... he did not harangue me....conversely....he knows my fiancee lives here.... so are the local yokels helping the elders in my old congo in building a case against me? who cares? I dont. The two local long time elders came by here a few months ago, verified what they already knew, and I havent heard a word since. I have no idea if I have been DF or not. Unlikely....I would most certainly have heard about it by now.

    ....and if so.... well, it doesnt matter. I have a great life.... with a great gal.... marriage is in the works...but delayed by financial circumstances (I have written about in the past on these pages).... but it will happen. So why should I return to the vomit (the JWs)?

    I havent been on the board much....too busy living life.... but I check in from time to time.

    Snakes (Rich )

  • peaches
    peaches

    you have developed a new life...good for you....can be distressing when a surprize visit comes along....sounds like you handled it well...one of the best revenges is happiness......KEEP SMILING~~~

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Great job handling it with firmness, yet respect for him also. Good move in taking the groceries out of his arms to keep him from going inside.

    Think About It

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Hey Snakes

    I think you handled that well.

    Peaches is right it can be distressing when they visit you by surprise. I haven't had that experience. No one has approached us yet (and we've been out a while) But we talk about how we'll handle it if someone steps to us......lol. You should visit the board regularly. Because of your and others' experiences, I realized I wasn't alone in what I was going through since we'd left.

    Best wishes

    Cult Classic

  • yknot
    yknot

    Well played!

    Never know, he might be entertaining his own doubts....

  • straightshooter
    straightshooter

    You handled that so well. It really touched me how you were so respectful and polite.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Good job, Snakes. Actually I'm surprised it took them that long to come around. You and your lady have been together for a few months now, right?

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Great job, snakes. Your posts are always valuable. I enjoy reading about how you are successfully moving into a new life. Keep posting. there are lots of newbies here and they need you and your experiences.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Sounds like the workings of the last chapter of this part of your life before closing the book.

    Ah, if only it were that simple. No, like a pimple they will pop up from time to time, just less often as you mature.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Our little Sankes and his wonderful new life.

    Congrats!

    -Aude.

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