I dont regret joining but its painful....

by Lozhasleft 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    I love this forum. I find the discussions and analysis incredible. I think the humour in some of the threads is amazing. Mostly I see snormaous courage and honesty and fortitude and optimism in the members on here. Its quite phenominal.

    But...

    Oh its so painful to hear some of the revelations about the GB, the cover ups, the faulty administration, the elders' attitudes and meetings, the terrible oppression and injustice and suffering that people are recovering from.

    I'm a pretty strong old bird and I have a good happy life except for my losses, but its affecting me deeply. I dont regret joining at all and I kind of know that I need to hear all this ...its part of the healing process I need to go through I'm sure. And so many regrets at staying so long and allowing this to happen to me and my family.

    Anyone else feel similar?

    Loz xx

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    oops 'snormaous' should read ENORMOUS lol x

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Snormaous - I was about to look it up - lol.

    This forum has helped me and so many others, who else can truly understand and believe what we have been through, except other ex-JW's.

    I feel I no longer need the board in the same way I did, but I love reading personal accounts and seeing if I can give the benefit of my experience (no takes any notice; but you never know one day.........)

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    I understand your chagrin completely, Dear Loz! I was out for two decades, yet the discoveries on this site affected me SO deeply!

    Understand that your reactions to your current realizations are all part of the healing process. You won't be this angry and emotional forever. Allow yourself to get mad... just try not to alienate any loved ones with your current passion.

    Love,
    Baba.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I thought it was going to be a thread about not regretting joining the JW's, but being painful to get out. I am so happy it is not.

    I hear what you are saying, but I left over doctrine mostly and I would have to know the real truth no matter how I found it out. There was some pain from reading CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE but first I came to all the websites like jwfacts and freeminds. Oh, how the truth about 607 BCE and the United Nations and all the Russell and Rutherford stuff that's old light hurt me.

    JWN stories of injustice and shunning are painful, but not as bad as the pain from having my head in the sand while I was a JW and refused to listen to such stuff.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    I understand completely how you feel...for the first few years of my non-JW life, I didn't really question anything and once I learned the real truth it was quite devastating and became a bit of an obsession. Now that the obsession has died down, I still find that I'm angry about it all but I don't regret one minute of learning what I now know. Before finding out all of this stuff, I still had the conscious thought rolling around in my head that the JW's have the truth and that I was just on a break. Thank goodness I got over that madness!!

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    What hurts me the most is to think of my family that is still in.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I find it painful to know that there are still people IN the borg that many of us here care about. I'm glad you've joined, Loz. That goes for everyone else. In just a few short months I've felt more at home than I ever did in my congregation.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Thanks guys...I'm going on holiday to a big cottage in Scotland tomorrow...and today Crisis of Conscience arrived from Amazon so I'm planning to have a read and do a bit of licking of the ol' wounds for a week mixed with some fresh air and the odd tipple ...not to mention some big cuddles with the lovely new husband (he of the athiest variety lol)...

    I will think of you all while I'm away and hope that life is being good for you....

    Loz x

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    Have a good holiday, Loz!

    Don't forget to look up at the stars one evening and remember all the great things about life!!

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