Former Elders and Friendly Fire
I fought many years from inside as an independent spirit trying to change or at least mitigate damage done by the WTBTS. I met Ted Jaracz, in the early 1970’s when he was called into Bethel to serve on the GB. This man’s control of the Service department and the GB is what I have fought for 3 decades but recently conceded this system is beyond reforming. I failed. I resigned as an appointed servant less than one year ago and have begun my exit from the org.
I learned from those many years not to waste time on systems nor people who are more concern with being RIGHT than understanding the perspective of others. I have left destructive associations that thrive on harsh and judgmental views.
There has been a series of negative threads where in those who remain on the inside as appointed servants have been harshly criticized. To defend myself in the blanket condemnation of any man who continues to serve in the WT society is as fruitless as my decades of fighting the WT society. Even if those who criticize are right in their condemnation of us who have tried, the fruitage of the battle is only dead bodies left behind. The bodies are those whom you should have recognized as allies.
While I have ended my affiliation with the WT society because it is hopelessly in control of judgmental and unreasonable men, I feel the people here are different so I will not leave with a profound “Good Bye”. While I do not plan to leave altogether, I will not try to change nor contend with the Ted Jaracz's on this board.
But we have suffered casualties recently, seeming to “friendly fire”. What has been accomplished by these battles that could justify the losses?
It's all about the scalps and foreskins baby. You'll understand that one day.
Having decided to not even read the negative posts or work of the posters I have failed to consider the posiblity you have proposed.
I am open to being convinced if it is that simple.
The world is filled with the Ted Jaracz and JF Rutherfords. These are the type of people who push their way to the limelight by shoving anyone in their way, out of the way. Some stand around and praise this. Others stand around stunned or do not know what to do. The rest walk away. How many again have left the board recently?
Interesting post- when i saw the fight break out i said this is so sad- If there has been one thing i have learned since leavig wt is to accept that each person brings to the table an entirely different set of life exp as a jw-
while many here come to the board with truly painful exp of dealing with elders, for may it was the way they were treated that started them on the road to freedom as many have told me they just kept asking themsleves:
"Would a man put in charge by Jesus act this way?" and they kept coming up with NO as anwser and for many it started them to examine things closer-
so for maany it was the bad exp they had to endure that gave them the courage to take a second look-
so they were on the recieving end of the Elder Prgram and with that indeed comes some very interesting life prospective-
for me i was on both sides of the WT Elder Program- so with that comes an entirely different set of exp-
my wife gives and entirely different view being a female and an elders wife
bros all the time would tell me i needed to "check" MY WIFE
but i never did-
I too thought i could work within the "System" to try and make the load lighter- only reason being I was still buying into the "WE Speak for God" and as long as you believe that- be it a publisher elder co do you will continue to find excuses for the actions of those in the or
because just like pub are told to wait on Jah i recall elders being told to wait on jah and as long as you buy that mindset--- that is what you will do- sit there and tolerate things -
I sometimes wonder as i read many post here about what the elders "Know"
in my personal exp most elders are not that sharp- most elders in my exp could not exp the 607 date or the gentile times, in fact many sister could explain it better even if the date was wrong at least they could make it sound half way right, but alot of elders they would just read the material NY sent them
i wonder how many elders in Latin america, or Africa or some not to devloped country really know that much about how dogmas are put together-
I fully agree withe comments though that if an elder comes to know what we know here on this site about the org and STILL DECIDES TO STAY IN - then i too got a problem with my boy-
but most elders i feel are just a dumb about the Inner workings of the org as the little kids who are playing with toys in the bathroom
The wt has successfully built up this thing called the Elders Arrangement using some of the Biggest "Jacka$$ Males" you can imagine - when i talk to NONJW about what elders could do and how the avg jw would listen with baited breathe-----they often laugh --
at how we would allow some dude with no college, sometimes no High School to give us advice on Sex, marriage, money, careeer, buying property, stock , investments, medical advice- yes life and death issue
like this one lady told me My Pastor has a PHD he will not be telling me how to make love to my husband- yet the avg jw around the world if he or she was called into the back room and ask:
"How do you do the THE WILD THANG with your wife?" would actually try to explain it-
while there are those who would say : You better get the He!! out of my face - I doubt that most would.
So are Elders to blame O yea, and they carry a Heavy load for the pain they inflict, but then on the other hand -you got to ask something about the person who allows a man with no formal training in human behavoior, child abuse, emotional issues to give them advice that they Willing accepted.
So for me it takes me back to square one -- we all bought into the most important Compondent that made the whole "System" Work and work like a charm and that is:
We all sincerely believed that they spoke for god and we didn't want to get god pissed off for not listening to his Boys:
just my 2
It is true that there are plenty of flame throwers here, but there are also many who are largely spectators and occasional posters.
Many of us have had our belly full of judgmental JWs when we were “in” and want no past of that anymore. For me it is about freedom. Freedom to think, to talk (on boards such as this, at least) and to act in accord with our own conscience rather than being required to conform to the conscience of the GB.
I for one welcome you here and hope you stay and contribute in a positive way. I’ll try to do the same.
I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted. Solomon
I have not commented on this subject and even now I hesitate to do so.
My husband attended Bethel for 4 and a half years. While there he worked as a waiter and afterwards was trained to operate a Linotype machine. Harry Peloyan was his Congregation Overseer, Dan Sydlik roomed next door to my husband. When my husband left Bethel to marry, he was on the Bethel speaking list and he was also the Watchtower Study Conductor in his congregation.
He believed with all his heart that his religion was the one and only approved by God. He never acted against his conscience, he never sided with others out of peer pressure. If something was amiss in the congregation we attended he always stood up for right principles and in defense of the defenseless.
After we married he served as Watchtower Study Overseer, Theocratic Ministry School Overseer and Presiding Overseer. As Presiding Overseer he had access to personal information, never once did he divulge to me anything concerning judicial matters.
It was not easy, many times during dinner he would get a call. Someone in the hall needed advice or needed someone to settle a marital dispute etc., off he would go. Many hours spent on research for JC meetings, many more hours spent on those JC meetings. Many hours spent on Public talks preparation etc., etc.
He was and is a fine person, a fine Brother. IMO, there are others like him. If they were wrong, OK, but no one can accuse them of selfishness or of misleading others. To mislead one needs to know better, my husband and the many others like him unfortunately did not!
I am tired of this black and white mentality. We are individuals, we are all different. We each bear our own cross but we are all not responsible for, nor took part in, the impaling of others.
Thanks for the opportunity to say what I refrained from saying before.
IW, I agree with what you said. With the exception of a few. Most of the Elders are good hearted people just like anyone else.
They believe what they are taught as Jehovahs Witnesses and try to be reasonable. Some just use their position for power. Like the saying, one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch.
I was treated farely by the Elders the time I was df'd. I was also reinstated rather quickly.
If we are to blame All the Elders for how some of them act. We might as well blame all the JW's for how a few act.
We were all brainwashed by this cult. Elders inclueded, and being so were following what we thought was the truth.
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
You always speak with such reasonableness. And I hope many were 'sad' to see this 'fight break out'.
I always appreciate your thoughts James.
Thanks for the Positive thoughts
You said "I have not commented on this subject and even now I hesitate". I understand. I'm not sure I should have opened this up because I do not want to nor will I get into a fight about it. I appreciate you sharing your and your husband experience. You summed up my feelings too with "I am tired of this black and white mentality".