by highdose 14 Replies latest jw friends
In my cong i could name more than half the brothers who seemed to revel in squashing the sisters back into the door mat where they belonged. nothing personaly irrated me more than being treated like a lower form of life simply because i didn't have a penis!
But i never saw any brothers make a stand, or try to treat the sisters better. In fact they seemed to get a tremendous kick out of it.
The sisters always liked me because I treated them as equals. God, I was a lousy Dub.
But to be honest, I saw both extremes in the congregations. While the official doctrine was that sisters were subjugated, often times I would see families where the wife was obviously the head of household. For every domineering husband, there were probably two or three domineering wives.
Then again, this is a male perspective, so take it for what it's worth.
Wow..only one reply???
I find this an interesting question considering how many "brothers" loved to pull the old "head of the house" card!
I didn't find there were too many sisters who were considered domineering, I can think of a handful. Then again I have been out for 15 years so maybe times have changed.
I felt bad when I made them fix the holes in my socks.....while I was wearing them after taking a 3 Mile run.....then I would get them to cook me a cream pie and rub my shoulders and I would feel better. Poor me!
But to be honest, I saw both extremes in the congregations. While the official doctrine was that sisters were subjugated, often times I would see families where the wife was obviously the head of household. For every domineering husband, there were probably two or three domineering wives.
This pretty much sums up my thoughts. The congregation where I'm at now, has a brother who's the nicest guy you could ever run into. His wife runs that house though. She's the true definition of Elderette. This might be me looking too much into it, but I noticed he actually walks somewhat behind her when I see them together. Her dominance has become so much of an issue that she's actually paranoid over it now. As of lately she's purposely doing things to make it seem as if she's submitting to him. We all know its nonsense because we know his nature. He's just a really nice guy. Some men "reach out" based off their upbringing in this organization. They're doing what they've been raised to do basically. Some men truly are just brown-nosers. This guy's case is different though. The things he does are based off of a combination of him being a nice guy, and his wife pressuring him to live up to whats she feels is expected of a brother in good standing.
By the way, there was a brief article in a WT a year or two ago about sisters who interpret in sign languages now needing to wear a head covering (after decades of NOT needing to).
I would think that would tick some sisters off. It annoyed me because the reasoning was similar to that of the "don't hug your spouse during prayer" rationale: that not wearing a goofy hat while signing might stumble someone.
No
But i never saw any brothers make a stand, or try to treat the sisters better. In fact they seemed to get a tremendous kick out of it.
I told my Mom that when someone treats you badly and you don't stand up for yourself you are giving your silent approval that the behaviour is ok with you. And it will only get worse. It takes guts to look someone squarely in the face and tell them that their treatment of you is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. It also has some very interesting results. You don't tend to be treated badly afterwards.
It is the subjugation of women that turned me off of the JWs as well as the Bible and other religions, organizations, and people who embraced it.
It is abusive and destructive of spirit and joy. Anyone allowing it or embracing it needs to take a good hard look at their foundation for it is unprincipled and flawed if you believe conquering, controlling, enslaving, or defeating someone is loving and good.
I waged a constant war against misogynistic attitudes in the Congo. I was in, although I have to say it wasn't at all bad, it was mainly countering the piffle written in the WT publications that was my main task, and I proved from scripture everything I posited.
When my wife and I married ,nearly forty years ago, it was my belief that it was an equal partnership. except she was more equal than me, so I always have called her "The Boss".
Wobble.
