very alone..

by flower 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Undine

    Flower Dear,

    I am sorry that you are experiencing such a bad
    night!!! And I can just imagine the aching feeling you must have
    not being able to open up your heart to your mom and have her
    unconditionally accept you. One day this could very well happen.
    In the meantime, just thinking about "one day" does not bring much
    solace, I know.

    I know this because I hear people who are dear to me telling
    me that "one day your daughter will return to you". My situation is
    sort of the flip side of is my daughter, she is almost 16,
    who will have nothing to do with me because I divorced her father with no "scriptural grounds". It has been over five years that I have experienced life without her and sometimes the ache is so intense that I wonder how I will make it through the day...

    But I will tell you the well worn saying goes, time is a remarkable healer. But sometimes, when you are trapped in a moment of grief and lonliness, it is hard to comprehend this.

    I just know that there are many listening ears and open hearts for you here in this forum...I am one of them!!!


  • RedhorseWoman

    Flower, you have every right to feel depressed and alone. You have been through a stressful and traumatic experience, and your body and mind are still suffering the aftershocks.

    It would be very good if you could get some therapy to help you through this rough time. Sometimes it helps just to know that your feelings are normal.

    Perhaps you also might want to consider getting involved in some type of volunteer work, or a class at a local school in Yoga, or some other type of thing that you might enjoy....pottery, typing, anything to get you out of the house and meeting people.

    Posting on DBs like this can be helpful, but it's no substitute for human interaction.

    In the meantime.....******HUGS******

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    Hello flower
    I have been to two meetings with a therapist (your regular doctor can recommend one). During the first session & for a few hours after I thought it had been a waste of time. Then all kinds of things started coming to mind, empowering thoughts, some kind of hope started to emerge. The therapist didn't really have a clue about the WT things but she asked all the right questions (& I hardly noticed that she talked at all) concerning emotions, anger, guilt, all of it. Gave me a whole new perspective. It lasted long enough to get a grip on a few things but I went back for a 2nd and brought back a bit more.
    Don't be shy, try & make an appt. If you call your doctor they can set it all up.
    hang in there

  • Bang

    Hi flower,

    Just thought I'd say Hi, so you didn't feel so alone. I'm on the other side of the world but I'll be thinking of you and praying for you tonight as I go to sleep. Your most welcome to come stay at our place, but it might be a bit hard to get here. There are others who'll be praying for you too, so you may not be as alone as you think. I'll be waiting to see another post from you, just as I did this one. Take heart now and be patient. Do you have money, are you physically ok?


  • jayhawk1

    It is said that "Depression is anger turned inwards." So what exactly are you angry about? I have read most if not all of your threads, and you seem to be very hurt, but not very specific. I am afraid I don't have any specific advice, because I don't know you. However, just posting on this board is no solution. Get out of the house! Take your son, and leave for a couple of hours each day. It does not take much money, or if any, to go have some fun. Have you ever considered that all you need to do is go for a walk?

    Have you ever thought about trying to better your life. I gather you live with your parents. It also does not hurt to look for some finiancial aid and go to school. What do you like to do? Do you like fixing your hair? Go to cosmotology school. There are pell grants to cover the cost of school.

    I know you did have a web page when you first started posting here. My step-dad is going back to school to learn how to make computers go. He is taking classes over the internet.

    Bottom line is you got to get up off your butt and get busy. You will never get anywhere in the position you are in.

    Just feeling sorry for yourself is not going to get you anywhere. Again I say, get up off your butt and find something to do.

    Is this a light saber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • badwillie

    My wife and I would like to meet you and your son. It's important that you do not feel alone anymore. I fully understand that you need real human contact with others who are going through what you are. Please email us your phone number and we'll arrange to hook up. Remember, we already determined that we live within driving distance of each other. Hope to hear from you soon. Hang in there!

  • MissSC


    Warmest hugs and affection are sent to you. I can relate to how you are feeling. For a while, I lived with those feelings on a daily basis. Even down, those feelings come back every now and then. Please look into therapy and maybe medication to help you work through your feelings. Find a group you can join. A hobby that you can meet with people and enjoy. Maybe a church if you are ready or interested. I found that reaching out and getting involved was a life saver for me. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and do not feel bad about posting when you feel down.

    Always, MissSC

    Nobody can make you feel inferior
    without your permission.
    -Eleanor Roosevelt-

  • wisspurr

    I just found this page tonight and joined. Please accept this cyber hug from me {{{{HUG}}}} I know how hard it is. Almost ll of my family and friends that I had know for 30 years turned their back on me. I know how much it hurts. It will get better.

  • teejay

    Welcome, Wisspurr.

    Feel free to add you bio to your profile. Come on in... set a spell... take your shoes off....

    y'all come back now... ya hear?!!

  • Gwendolyn


    I have been in that pit of depression you are describing. I am so sorry for all of the pain you are in!

    You know, there is a reason that people self-injure (like cutting oneself). It is most common in women, and we do it to regain some sort of control over our bodies or lives, when we feel like we don't have control. I imagine that at this point you feel somewhat trapped. What you KNOW in your mind and heart, is not what the people around you are telling you, and you are afraid to challenge them for fear of losing them, so you are trapped.

    Let me say, from experience, you NEED to go with what YOU know to be true. It will not be easy, but the rewards are immense.

    One problem I see over and over is that people want to leave, but at the same time they feel guilty at reaching for anything else. Perhaps you leave, and lose family and friends, but you feel guilty about going to find new friends and family...often because you're so used to the idea of not associating with "worldly" people. This is something you really need to work through, by forcing yourself to interact. Staying alone right now is the worst thing you can do, because it will further your depression.

    Here are some suggestions of things that I found very helpul:
    1) Therapy...just having someone you can spill your guts to, and even curse at if you need to, who you're not afraid of losing is immensely valuable
    2) Volunteer...go feed the homeless, or visit people in rest homes...this really helps you connect with other people
    3) Take the first thing that pops into your head that interests you, even if it seems like a crazy idea! If money is an issue, most communities and bookstores have free classes and workshops.

    Just don't be afraid to get involved! It will be difficult at first, but you CAN get through it!


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