I am sorry that you are experiencing such a bad
night!!! And I can just imagine the aching feeling you must have
not being able to open up your heart to your mom and have her
unconditionally accept you. One day this could very well happen.
In the meantime, just thinking about "one day" does not bring much
solace, I know.
I know this because I hear people who are dear to me telling
me that "one day your daughter will return to you". My situation is
sort of the flip side of yours...it is my daughter, she is almost 16,
who will have nothing to do with me because I divorced her father with no "scriptural grounds". It has been over five years that I have experienced life without her and sometimes the ache is so intense that I wonder how I will make it through the day...
But I will tell you this...as the well worn saying goes, time is a remarkable healer. But sometimes, when you are trapped in a moment of grief and lonliness, it is hard to comprehend this.
I just know that there are many listening ears and open hearts for you here in this forum...I am one of them!!!