Advice on how to proceed ?

man in black

One of my son's who is 21 recently met a person in one of his classes at the local college who is a pioneer ( parents are forcing him to do it).

This person (lets call him Ted) is really fed up with this religion. and is seriously considering ways to leave.

His dad is a pioneer/elder, Mom is a pioneer also, I don't know if there are any brothers or sisters.

My son wants to proceed carefully, Mom and Dad don't know who we are, or what our status in the religion is.

They sound like uber-control people, they always check Teds cell phone to see who he is talking to (the kid is 18).

He is planning to move out next year, do any of you have any suggestions as to how he could/should proceed ?

He is only 18 and a dependent, so it would be better for him to consider his options and plan for his future exit. If he comes out now he risks his parents kicking him out. He is lucky to be coming to his senses at a young age, there is no rush now to be careful in moving on as he becomes financially independent.

yknot

Maybe your son can slip him the JWN addy

Sounds like he has some sort of exit plan, but lets remember his age...... some are mature at that age but many Uber-JWkids aren't due to uber social isolation.

He needs to handle his own business with his family (ie not involving yall's) and probably at most just needs a friend, to know he is not alone in being fed up with the WTS and some positive encouragement to follow his own dreams!

and Ditto what Paul said above !

troubled mind

I think the best thing your son can do is be a true friend to this young man . It is probably the first time he has been able to fully express himself about the JW religion w/o fear of judgement . Being a good listener could do wonders for him sorting out his new found feelings .e

I would be careful because he is most likely still dependent upon his family for support financially . (However your son could open up conversations about how others have gained independence and how soon enough they all have to learn to stand alone .)

Nathan Natas

If he has a locker at school, he could get a copy of any one of the "classic" books by late-20th century apostates and keep it there to read in the school library.

For example:

VISIONS OF GLORY by Barbara G. Harrison (available free online at freeminds.com)

A PEOPLE FOR HIS NAME by Tony Wills (available in print or as an e-book from Lulu.com)

CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Ray Franz (available from commentarypress.com)

CAPTIVES OF A CONCEPT by Don Cameron (available from captivesofaconcept.com)

THE BIBLE vs THE WATCHTOWER… You Decide by Cochise Pendleton (available from thebiblevsthewatchtower.wordpress.com/)

White Dove

Good advice all around. I'd say to fake it until he is out of college and able to be totally independent and can fully support himself. Mean time, do everything said above.

Diamonds

Something similar happened to me. My advice would be for him to keep his head down until he is able to leave home and support himself financially - he also needs to know he has a non-judgemental friend outside the org to rely on. Don't push him or criticise the religion, even if you think he is fed up of it. He needs to come to his own conclusions in his own time. If he openly says he wants to leave, maybe it would be a good thing to let him know that it will be very hard at first (specially if family shuns him) but that it gets easier with time, as he gets to meet new and supportive friends. Also tell him that just talking about how he feels can help him put things into perspective.

It'll be hard for him with such controlling parents. I'm glad I don't have to go through it all again. I wish him much luck.

cantleave

What Nathan said and don't forget JWfacts.com

betterdaze

Do everything you can to make good grades, earn your degree, secure a paying job, get that first apartment. (Make sure you have a decent car to get around in so you can keep that job/apartment, too!)

Have at least 3–6 months expenses saved up for when the congregation kicks you to the curb, because there is a very good chance your own flesh and blood will not be there for you, either.

Do what little you must to please your parents in the meantime, go with the flow. As little as possible to keep them at bay so you can stay in school and keep learning and growing toward your independence.

You have your entire life ahead to do as you choose, but for a few short years yet, you must live under the(ir) radar. Stay in school and do not let any JW talk you out of it.

One day, you will breathe free! Keep that as your goal. For now, focus on passing grades, and planning to be 110% independent if/when your present life-support system goes kaputt.

~Sue

Open mind

Hey, at least he can start counting some of his pioneer hours when he's talking to your son!

Also, great advice given so far.

om