bulgogiboy Here is my 2Cents worth.
I agree that no one really knows. Today I am 49% agnostic and 51% believer.
When that ratio leans the other way, I have to find some therapy for myself.
The therapy that has benefited me the best goes like this "fake it till you make it",
or to put it another way delude yourself.
Which you dont want to do at this time.
If you are on a morbid obsession, it is like a merry go round. Merry go rounds make some people sick.
If your obsession is making you sick, get off the merry go round.
From my experience, I have taken an anti depressent paxil. What it did to me was slow my brain
and my metabolism down to the point that my mind didnt race or didnt think about things
that I didnt want it to.
I was slowed down enough that it took all my strength just to function and that was with a
very low dose 5 mg. It slowed me down so slow it took me 3 weeks to get an erection.
Needless to say, I am off anti depressents now.
Something that helps me feel good is reading the bible. I have read it cover to cover many times
and it makes me feel good.
When I start feeling real good, then I start reading Richard Dawkins and other atheistic
literature.
When I read Dawkins I start feeling real bad and the life leaves me.
Its almost like there is power in the word.
For me there is power in the word.
I just finished reading Dawkins "The greatest show on earth and it took my mood to the depth of hell.
Then I started reading "I dont have enough faith to be an atheist" by Norman Geisler and it took me
to the top of the mountain.
I am manipulating my own manic depression's and mood swings in my own workshop of life.
Maybe I'm talking to me or God is talking to me. But they say things go better with coke.
And for me things go better with God.
During my time here on the pleasure planet, earth. I am looking for peace, security compfort and
happiness.
Why do I want happiness? Because its pretty much the opposite of what I suffer from when I'm not
happy and thats depression. In researching happiness, I came across the information that if you
want to be truly happy, you need to harness the power of delusion.
Let me put it this way "truth is not necessarily the path to health and happiness".
Believe the world is ruled by a loving omnipotent God. Believe your wife or girlfriend is
the most beautiful girl in the world.
If you can control your mind that way, you wont need the anti depressents or alcohol
and you wont have morbid obsessions and you will have more time to do what you want to do.
If you decide to go to a therapist ultimately he is going to try to get you to think good thoughts.
I just gave his magic away.
http://www.synthetichappiness.com/search/label/tips
You say your going to find something positive in every aspect of your life from now on, these books
could help you do that, check them out on amazon and read the reviews.
You could also check out "Erroneous Zones" by Dr. Wayne Dyer and "You cant afford the Luxury of a
Negative thought" by Peter McWilliams.
Fear of death may make some people find God, but I know for a fact it doesnt make everyone find
God. My father died of prostrate cancer, he knew he had it for 5 years and he told me, He told
God he was not making any deals and at the end he crawled into bed and spent 2 weeks dying
with his body shutting down and he didnt make any deals with God but he did ask many times
for his gun. As far as I could tell my father never had any use for God and lived his life as a Godless
man. But my father was never depressed or unhappy. I just figured my earthly father was not one
of Gods children.
