i'm so upset the more i read and find out about the society. its all hard to take for me but i'm accepting it more and more. the problem i have is that i want so bad to tell my mom what i have found out. everyday i am so close to jumping up and blurting it all out to her. but i know if i do that i better be ready to lose them all possibly forever because if my dad finds out i said these kinds of things he would not be happy. i know its not my place to try to get people out of this org but i just cant stand that people are being duped especially my mom. dont care much about the rest of the jw's in the fam as those relationships and any normal feelings we had towards each other have long since been destroyed. but my mom i care about and hate that this is all her life is about. it is all her life is about now because she lost her eyesight due to diabetes about two years ago and now she just sits home mostly doing nothing. once a week she goes out on a study with another sister and her excitement is mostly just going to the meetings. she is just waiting for the end to come so she will see again in paradise. but i want her to go to a school for the blind and learn to LIVE as a blind person and not just sit around like her life is over. shes only 57 but since she was also born in the 'lie' she has never had any kind of a life at all outside the org. i took her to her first broadway show last year and shes never been anywhere in the Caribbean or to any real vacation spot. my dad refuses to fly and for years refused to take any kind of vacation (until the society said we could have recreation) and when he finally did it was just a 13 hr car ride to an assembly in canada. i just want her to have a few happy years on this earth. i totally blame the society for her blindness too because if it werent for them she would have taken much better care of herself and her diabetes instead of having a 'paradise is right around the corner so why bother' attitude. i just know i could convince her if i was well prepared and it was well presented. i suspect the failed predictions have had an affect on her over the years and this will probably be the main point i would bring out. i remember when i was younger her telling us that 'we didnt even think Cliff (my oldest brother) was going to even go to school before the end'. now cliff is almost 40 and her grandson is in school. i'm sure she has thought about that. i'm rambling here but i really wanted to ask you guys if you think i should say something or just wait till i am emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally prepared for the fact that it wont be accepted and they will cut me off for good? right now i am living with them for financial reasons.