What happened to your marriage after you stopped believing? (page 3)

out4good3

Terrible fights and long drawn out coercive appeals to me about why......and that "I know it is da truth".

I remember one night in particular where my wife was putting so much stress on me about why I was not going to meetings and what I should be doing, that I went into the bathroom and started throwing up.

That was actually a turning point for me as I resolved then that I'd not let my life and decisions be held hostage by anybody.

Last year, after one of her conventions, I could tell she was irritated about my non-activity and she pushed me a little to far again. I told her that I just didn't believe any of it anymore.

cognac

It was a lot of hard work, but we are still married and happy. We have a baby. I see a therapist to consistantly get an outside professional point of view on the best way handle situations as they arise. But, we are generally happy. We focus on things other then religion. But, I can voice my opinion freely and he can also.

Not everyone can do it. He isn't a normal JW. But, I think he isn't a normal JW anymore because he has listened to a lot of what I have to say. It took an enormous amount of patience for both of us. There was a lot of fighting and arguing especially in the beginning.

One main thing I established was my right to question whatever I wanted to. I had multiple elders and an annointed brother back me up on that one point. Based on that, it started that I would simply ask questions.

Then, it went on to that I didn't believe but we could still live peacably based on that scripture about the unbelieving mate.

There were months and months where we didn't even talk about it because I made sure to not make it into a big deal but rather focus on things we have in common.

Now, everything is pretty happy. :)

darthfader

My Wife and I faded at nearly the same time, but for different reasons. I looked at the logic of the bible and found serious flaws in the foundations of the WTBS belief system. My Wife saw the "lack of love" or at least the "Love among brothers" not the be outstanding (above other curches at a minimum). Once she no longer felt that there was love.. "That's all she wrote".. Now we are on new spiritual paths, that's bringing us closer together.

Darth Fader

zoiks

There are ups and downs, of course. It helps that our relationship is and has been very strong. She is my best friend and confidante. When I first came out about my doubts, the shock took a while to wear off for her. Now she's fine with my beliefs, and is questioning her own.

The fact that family members and "friends" have acted in a very unchristian way towards me has helped to draw us closer as well. She is very protective and has had to tell her friends to stop gossiping about her husband. So they have pretty much given up on her as well.

It is difficult, but there are plenty of baby steps forward.

tiffy0212

Just live under the same roof. Marriage is over. 43 years down the drain. He is so into the jws and himself. I finally asked him to file since his book keeping yourself in gods love says if he feels "spiritual endagerment" he can file for a legal seperation. We don't even speak to each other. Trying to save some money so I can get out of this Hell Hole. The hell he has created for me to live in is the same hell he is going to live in.

Tiffy

sacdfan

You and me both, Tiffy. Maybe we should start a club!

Married to the Mob

Tell them to go into it with their eyes open! IF they are a religious person in anyway shape or form this is not an easy path......

My wife was born in to the "truth" and whilst she is definitely not a hard core dub as she drinks, gambles, has tattoos, sex before marriage, celebrates birthdays, christmas gives to non dub charities.....she is still a dub

Firstly I love her to bits, she is my best friend

However, the dub thinking can drive you nuts at times, dealing with other dubs (or in our case total avoidance) can be entertaining, the die hard dub relatives (mother in law in my case) biblical preaching that she want me to be saved as well!

An then of course you will have to go to memorial to waste 45 minutes listening to the used car salesman routine slam every other religion, promise the end is comming soon and watch 150 people pass a glass of wine and crackers around!

All these bits will put you to the point where you will snap eventually and blast someone (most likely your wife) with your thoughts over the WBTS!

A then the serious dub mentality kicks in! As many here will tell you, and from personal experience, any open attack on the organisation to them is like persecution, in addition you have hit at what they see as a core attribute of what them and you might have well said you hate them! You don't but thats what it feels like to them as they have been "brainwashed" to think that way and then if you are lucky you might be allowed to sleep on the couch!

Only your friend can make the choice but make sure he is aware of what lies in wait for him if he makes the leap!

Magwitch

I was married for 20 years. I did not say anything about my doubts to my husband until I was ready to bolt. I knew there was no possible way to leave the organization and stay married to my husband. One day (four years ago) I told him I did not want the religion, the marriage or any of our so-called friends. I filed for divorce and took my two teen-age girls (there was no way in hell my daughters would be raised as JW's). I have NEVER regretted my decision.

moshe

-Wife left after 26 years because i did not believe in the watchtower anymore! Reason "Spiritual Endangerment

That is my story in a nutshell- only it was 19 1/2 years of marriage. She even had a letter from the WT telling her she could get rid of me- spiritual endangerment and then 4 months later a whole WT article comes out giving JW spouses everywhere the green light to get divorces- no questions asked at the KH. All the JW spouse had to do is say that their spitituality was endangered by living with an apostate or opposer- their opinion.

mimimimi

My husband was not a JW and he was positively delighted when I quit the borg. Our marriage has gotten better and better without the JW religion in the way. Now we attend the Catholic church together.

What happened to your marriage after you stopped believing?

Share this