What happened to your marriage after you stopped believing?

by JerkhovahsWitless 52 Replies latest jw friends

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    I know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does. Others were able to free the minds of their spouse. I'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.

    Anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.

    I'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a JW. Once the spouse learns he doesn't believe, which it has to come up eventually after he makes enough negative WT org comments to her, I'd like some experiences to let him know what married life may become like.


  • sspo

    Wife left after 26 years because i did not believe in the watchtower anymore!

    Reason "Spiritual Endangerment"

  • Paralipomenon

    Took 8 years, but I was a lucky one and she left as well.

  • Mattieu

    We have our up and down days, at the moment we cannot discuss anything spiritual as it doesn’t end too good. I was a “born in” (late 60’s) and she came to know the “truth” as a teenager and cannot accept the damage that the ever-changing truths and understanding have done to my immediate family.

    I can throw as many wtbts publications in front of her exposing the hypocrisy of it all, some days I seem to get through, and then some days she is their biggest defender......


    PS – Been married 20 years

    PSS - Looking forward to the day she is awake fully

  • diamondiiz

    When I first said I'm not going to the meetings she was a bit pissed off but by that time I already showed her Russell's pyramid BS and child abuse settlements on wts website so she knew a bit what I knew, our marriage didn't really suffer any we had our up and down days but overall it did well. After I DA myself she wasn't surprised at all since she knew it was coming, she still goes to the meetings but doesn't go out in service, I don't think she believes in the dates anymore but I don't know if she still believes wts is God's org or not as we don't converse on religion much. My son hasn't been to a meeting in like 3 months and is hoping my wife doesn't take him but she's missed quite a number of them lately. Either way my marriage is good and I only hope wts does something stupid and turns her off completely where she will never go back to the cult but that's probably still some time away.

  • teel

    In short it's hell. Very much depends on your spouse, and my wife is so entrenched, if the society would start baby sacrifices she would still defend them. They did a complete work on her Just yesterday we had a big fight again, because she just can't understand why I don't like the society. I know I'm doing things very wrong, she knows that my oppinion is that she's brainwashed, which is very bad (in all the books and advices I've read it's the single most important thing not to say).

    I would not recommend your friend in any case to marry a JW, unless he's very sure that either he will be a loyal JW, or she is not that loyal and there's a really good chance of getting her out. A non-JW married to a loyal JW at best can be bearable, at worst it's hell. It can never be a truly happy marriage. It's better to have loved and lost than to graduately see her being lost to a book publishing company.

    Just a couple of examples: we planned going to a theater the other day, and asked her to buy tickets. She refused, because she was with an other JW, and she might get stumbled by her going to theater . On an other occasion when I asked if she wants to see the "Avatar" she said she must first do research to see if it's immoral or violent. Also she said she would never come to some gathering, party, vacation, anything where there are non-JW people (meaning if we would be in a company with them), and by me refusing to believe in the society's lies, obviously I can't go to any JW "party". So that kind of rules out almost any kind of recreation, except a very select few things we can do by ourselves.

  • Luo bou to
    Luo bou to

    Went down the tube I was now a threat to her "Cognative Dissonance " Should she believe what the WT says that I must be evil or her own experience living with me I was still the same person she married but she could not accept that.

  • Decided

    It got better because she is a worldly woman and never was a JW. My JW wife of 16 years divorced me and I didn't know why until 35 years later. I found her phone number on the internet and called her. She left me because she was fed up with the JW life.

    Ken P.

  • sacdfan

    Mine is going slooooooooowly down the pan!!

  • God Chick
    God Chick

    my husband left JW first. Marriage was sooooooooo hard. I hated going to meetings alone, i hated hearing his negative talk, bagging out elders etc. I hated not being able to talk about the wonderful truth i had heard at the meeting. I hated knowing he was going to die at armagedon and i would be alone. Caused huge problems, we no longer had much in common, he couldnt go to my friends places, i couldnt have friends over.

    He wanted to try out all the worldly things he had missed out on, became an abusive drunk and made my life Hell.

    So not worth being in a marriage not evenly yoked, not worth it run while you still can.

    He left me, i left JW we now both have very different and separate lives. The JW did break us up.

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