Ho hum the time has come!

by MisfitMeL 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • MisfitMeL

    Well it's very close.... I knew this would kinda happen at some point in my life.... still you only realise the full extent of the situation when you are facing it.

    I never was a 'hard core' JW and all of the 'secret' boyfriends I've had were non-JWs. Present one included. Except now, we have decided to get married and I have the most unpleasant task ahead of me.

    1) I'm Indian, so dating isn't really accepted as the norm and most parents are very conservative.

    2) My mum is a JW and I was raised as one (though I am an atheist now, but she doesn't know this!!), so dating isn't really accepted as the norm and most JWs are very conservative.

    I have absolutely NO idea how I am going to break the news to my mum:-

    I have a boyfriend *WHAT??* We have been dating for about three years *WHAT??* He's caucasian *WHAT??* He's 14 years older than me *WHAT???* and..... he's not a JW *insert BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM* lol

    This of course will lead to more questions and the truth of me not wanting to associate with the org anymore will come out.

    I have a feeling mummy dearest will also want to know if I have 'defiled' myself with fornication

    Then she will rant and rave about how satan has swallowed me up and now I have turned my back on jehovah blah blah... you know the spiel...

    Anyone had a similar situation? Do I bring up the topic while we are sitting around wondering when to next vaccinate the dogs? By the way mum, I have boyfriend who is not a JW and we have decided to get married.

  • nelly136

    congratulations on your up n coming wedding,

    good luck with the other.

  • MisfitMeL

    Cheers for both nelly136!!

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty


    Like nelly said congrats on the up-coming nuptuals, all the other stuff*shrug*

    Can you secretly get married? You can invite your parents but tell them that you are participating in this new acting troupe that performs realistice events.

    Just my .02.

  • MisfitMeL

    LOL nope, it can't be a secret and I don't want it to be... plus I am in india at the moment and he is in the UK... I can't exactly leave the country secretly lol

    It's a good idea thought!!! Thanks for the well wishes too darth :D

  • chickpea

    are you baptized?

    that little nugget can make this
    easier or harder depending on
    what the answer is....

    either way, as an adult you are
    entitled to make your life what
    you want it to be and anyone
    who would throw up irrational
    objections like race/nationality/
    religious affiliation is thinking of
    THEIR feelings and not yours....

    best of all things on your upcoming nuptials

  • cantleave


  • MisfitMeL

    chickpea : I'm sad to say that yes, I am baptised :( so the potential implications are huge. I know ultimately it's my life and that I should do what makes me happy etc. Everyone says that and I get it. However, it's still a horrible situation to go through :(

    Thanks to you and cantleave though for the congrats :D


    Yes, are you baptized? All I can really say is congratulations and good luck! IF topics like fornication come up, it's best just to keep your mouth shut, lol. Just tell her it's none of her business, or anyone's business, what you do and don't do.

    Her reaction probably won't be a good one, but we have to go through some tough stuff to get to where we want to be sometimes.

  • MisfitMeL

    Cheers ILTSF! Yeah I was planning to take that approach.. tell her it's none of her business since I am an adult now and not to pry.

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