Is regularly texting/phoning someone (not your partner) cheating?

by sacdfan 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • sacdfan

    Hello - can I ask you all for your opinions?

    If your partner (husband/wife, gf/bf etc) was phoning and texting someone approx 20 times per day,would you find it unacceptable? For example, if your wife was texting/phoning another brother (also married) 20 to 30 times a day, would you get suspicious? If your partner said it was innocent and all ministry-related, would you believe them? Would it still be unacceptable?

    Some of you may need to go back to your JW days - how would you have felt as an active witness - knowing how important the ministry was supposed to be - would this make it ok?

  • littlebird

    I wouldn't find it acceptable when I was a witness, nor would I find it acceptable now.

  • journey-on

    Unacceptable. Whatever happened to the appearance of something inappropriate? If it truly is "ministry related", then perhaps one might text 20 times in one day in an isolated incident. But, if it is day after day....NO. Just my opinion.

  • snowbird

    It is cheating - no ifs, ands, or buts.


  • AudeSapere

    It's not just a JW thing. A 'Worldly' friend of mine has said for years: "Texting is for cheaters."

    20 times a day seems like flirting.


  • semelcred

    I ve done it and i am sure loads have. I think it is running into dangerous territory and if not with that person it leaves you open to temptation. If you cannot do something in front of your partner and be able to reasonable defend the action(s) then you are in a position of living dishonestly. I don't think a person is good or bad for doing it but the only time my own relationship has been healthy is when we both live honestly and rationaly with each other. The person doing the texting must ask themselves 'why?' is it boredom, a need for some excitement?

  • xmkx

    I'm a little on the fence. I would say it depends on past behavior and also what other suspicious activity is going on. I and my husband both grew up getting along with the opposite sex better than we did the same sex. My husband is too "feminine" for most guys and I am too "masculine" for most females as far as interests go, so most of our friends tend to be of the opposite sex. I have one male friend in particular right now that I've been texting a lot and it's just because he's having a rough time right now (depression) and I'm probably the best friend he has at the moment and the only one that's encouraging him to seek therapy.

    If this person has a history of getting along better with the opposite sex and isn't involved in any other suspicious behavior such as hiding these conversations, becoming less emotionally available, sneaking out, etc. I wouldn't worry about it too much.


    20 times a day?..LOL!!

    Somethings up..

    Nothing right about that behaviour..

    ...................... ...OUTLAW

  • HappyGuy

    Here is the rule I use on this type of thing. Would I care if my wife read it? If I don't care then it probably isn't 'wrong'. If I would care or have something to hide or believe that her reading it will result in claw marks on my face then there is something 'wrong'.

    I think no matter what is the content in 20 text messages per day that my wife reading them would result in claw marks on my face.

  • Elsewhere

    Texting and phoning is not, in of itself, cheating.

    However, it is a symptom of cheating and certainly needs to be looked into.

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