Need help with how to respond to my husband

by doublelife 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • etna

    Doublelife the jws play their cards right, they admit they are imperfect but in the same breath say that they have the sayings of truth and even though it might not be right at the present time (the light gets brighter), "where else shall we go".


  • jwfacts

    I have an article about this at that will help answer your questions.

    There are a few things to note.

    1. JWs are not Pacifists, they are only neutral.
    2. There are a number of Pacificist religions.
    3. The Bible is not a Pacifist book, war has been a strong theme for God's people.
  • jwfacts

    I just noticed that you looked at the article, so my comments above are a bit irrelevant.

    The responses you gave him are good, and his answers show he is quite realistic about the shortcomings of the religion. It seems he may be a JW because it is his comfort zone as much as anything else.

  • iknowall558
  • nugget

    I know where your husband is coming from since that was me a few months back. Perhaps you need to approach it from a different angle. Get him thinking about other cults since this is neutral ground. I read up about the Mormons and how the early founders of the religion were self important and corrupt. The whole bit about plural marriage was total nonsence. I could clearly see that the policies of their faith were wrong. I said to my husband that I couldn't understand how such sincere people could follow people who were so obviously flawed. He said how much do you know about the early founders of your faith? If you really knew what they did you may feel differently about your beliefs.

    It still took a while but I was more receptive. I would always fall back on the fact that the GB were imperfect men and never claimed to be inspired to they could make mistakes. Reading C of C was the final nail in the coffin.

    It's small steps. See the historical flaws and gradually bring it up to date.

  • isaacaustin

    There are several groups, Christadelphians, Quakers, Amish,etc who have the same stance. There are groups such a House of Yahweh, who are actually even MORE politically neutral than the JWs- to the point they will not even accept governmental aid in any form. Could perhaps the House of Yahweh be Jehovah's org since they are equally pacifist and more politically neutral?

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Your husband has admitted the the GB makes mistakes and are sometimes wrong. I would ask him what he thinks would happen to him if he started pointing out to others some of their teaching he feels are not correct. Ask him in cases where they have been proven wrong what would have happened to him if several years before the error became obvious he had been point the problem out to other JWs.

    It always surprises me how many JWs think that they are pacifist. JWs aren't pacifist. A pacifist would not condone all the killing and fighting in the Bible yet JWs do. The only reason JWs don't go to war is because the Watchtower tells them not to. It would all change in a second if the Watchtower told them that they were doing it for Jehovah.

    Keep in mind that no matter how good your arguements are and how much proof you present to your husband if is not ready to leave the Watchtower he will be able trick himself into believing the Watchtower is God's organization.

    Good Luck

  • superpunk

    It sounds like right now your husband just wants to be a JW.

    You can only leave when the cost of leaving is less than the cost of staying (whatever that might be). It's different for each of us.

    To me, it sounds like your husband doesn't really care about any *reasons* why the JWs are right or wrong. He simply *knows* that they're right, and so he is amplifying the bits he agrees with, while downplaying the bits he disagrees with as unimportant.

    Even if you tear apart the war excuse, he'll just say that isn't important, either. Something else suddenly becomes the really important reason why they are the true religion.

  • doublelife

    Thanks for all of your responses. You all gave me some things to consider. I feel like I'm in a better position to talk to my husband about this. I'll probably wait a little while before bringing this up since we just talked about this yesterday. I don't want him thinking I'm trying to attack him. But the next time it's appropriate to bring this up I'll be better prepared.

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