How Did You Know The One You're With Was "The One" ?

by palmtree67 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    I couldn't tell you "how" but I can tell you when!

    We were at a Thursday night meeting, and I was holding his arm during the song (middle one I think), and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I loved him. I fell in love that moment.

    I guess the kind, generous spirit of his just had made it's way to my heart. I just knew. Just like when I woke up to the truth of the Watchtower. Once you know.

    Later that night, we were at his parents house, and I just had to tell him. The funny thing is, he said he was getting ready to tell me the same thing! He fell in love that night too at the meeting. I guess cupid had fired off an arrow!

    As I left his house (he lived with his parents and I lived with mine), I said I wanted to take it slow and he kissed me on the forehead. Our first kiss.

    After that you couldn't pull us apart with wild horses! We were such kissy faces we got lectured all the time!

    We were engaged about a month later! So much for slow It was a wonderful whirlwind of romance! We were married 8 months later. It would have been sooner if we financially could have done it.

  • Highlander

    How did I know the one I'm with is the one?

    I didn't, and she's not.

  • palmtree67

    Highlander: As they say, "Love the one you're with."

  • nugget

    Sometimes we share the same thought and sometimes we are completely different.

    The similarities are the setting and the differences are the gems that sparkle. A bit cheesy but 22 years in I wouldn't change a thing.

  • Highlander

    As they say, "Love the one you're with."

    No. I found a new love of my life.

  • Heaven

    I agree with Highlander. I was completely lied to about pretty much everything.

    One of my pieces of advice would be to find out what your 'significant other' wants out of life. If they don't know, you might want to back off.

    See, my ex signed up with me because I knew what I wanted (and he didn't) so he went along with it until he hated it so much that he abused me. I think he also is very conflicted about who he really is. His bisexuality is in conflict with everyone in his life, including himself, so he hides it. This creates enormous rage in him. For years he took his anger out on me instead of being honest with himself and everyone else. He wasn't, and still isn't, being true to himself, let alone me or anyone else.

    The interesting thing about going through this hell is in the way I handled it all. I have garnered more respect from him now than he ever showed for me while we were married. I used "True North Principles" to deal with him. It was tough but it has worked and I am glad I did. He still calls me his 'soulmate' and 'best friend' to this day. I wish he would get some professional help.

  • palmtree67

    Oh, Highlander, she's a gorgeous little thing!

    Heaven: I admire your commitment. I hope you get some nurturing from somewhere. What are "True North Principles"?

  • PSacramento

    I knew that Lisa, my wife, was the one when I didn't want to be with anyone else and still don't.

    She is my heartbeat, my soul, all that I am I owe to her.

    I want to spend all my time with her and its enough to just BE with her.

  • dig692

    I know he is the one because I can't remember my life before him, and I can't envision a life without him.

  • Heaven

    Heaven: I admire your commitment. I hope you get some nurturing from somewhere. What are "True North Principles"?

    Palmtree.... I am hopeful that one day I will meet 'the one'. My ex and I are still 'friends' as best we can be. It takes a lot of energy from me sometimes to interact with him. The pain is still very real. There is not much nurturing for me right now. It has been difficult.

    "True North Principles" are character ethics that are timeless, universal, and unwaivering. They are about being higher than self. They encompass the Golden Rule, and so much more. They build up; they create; they don't tear down or destroy. They are honesty couched with kindness.

    I stepped back from my relationship and analyzed it for a very long time. I had to be honest with myself and that was very frightening. But when you come to the realization that the person who swore they would 'love, honour, and cherish' you no longer does, you have to deal with it... or die.

    I chose to live. But I chose to live in a principled manner especially when dealing with my ex.

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