by minimus 25 Replies latest jw friends
I think it is O.K if it out in the open, but such things are fraught with danger, you may be in control, but your interest may be mis-construed.Does your friend know it is entirely Platonic ?
Or , you may not be as much in control as you think, and your heart begins to get involved, dangerous , be careful out there.
Love
Wobble
Well, I'm single , but I have close male friends who are married. Some I grew up with and they are like family to me.
I have freedom and trust from my spouse to have all my old friends and make new ones of both genders.
I extend that same freedom and trust.
To be honest, sexual fidelity doesn't mean an awful lot to me. It is important to my spouse, though, and it's easy to give that to them.
Perhaps it helps that I'm not sexually attracted to any of my friends.
Most of my male friends are shared with my husband. I think it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex provided your partner knows about them. I wouldn't go out on my own with a male friend but that was mainly due to the fact that my male friends were current JWs and that would not be ok in the org.
Hubby and I are both kind of loners so we don't have a huge circle of friends, but for the most part my guy friends are his guy friends, and his girl friends are my girl friends too.
IMO, and from a married point of view, I think it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex as long as there are no secrets. But neither I nor my hubby would go out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, not because WE don't trust each other, but because we know a lot of JWs that would love nothing more than to turn a harmless lunch date into a secret love affair, and we just don't want to deal with that.
I have a lady friend I have lunch with on occasion. My wife is just fine with it.
I think that the definition of "friend" and "spouse" already brings different treatment of these two kind of people . There is a risk to be attracted by anyone, even that gorgeous woman who hinted interest when you were in the supermarket, for example, or the endowed blonde who always gets on the same elevator early in the morning.
I think it should be fine.
It might be kind of hard sometimes to keep jealousy in check. Trust is a hard issue sometimes.
We both have friends of the opposite sex though it seems to be more okay for her than for me in that I don't mind so much but she will express concern over some of my women friends. Funny though...how much concern she shows is directly related to level of how good looking they are... go figure...
My partner and I are free to be friends with anyone we have a connection with. There are no secrets because freedom and trust are important in our relationship. Most of my friends are male, and it's always been that way for me. Actually, most of my guy friends are now my partner's friends. Some of my buddies are married now, and their wives limit the contact they have with me. I can respect that, for every relationship is different. Whatever works for you.
