Your Most Embarrassing JW Moment

by Sky 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • roybatty

    Hey Puffsrule, that's where I took the plunge. Remember how small that "pool" was? It was more like a tub! And there was no where for people to stand and watch. LOL. But that was kind of a cool assembly hall. As a kid I spent many a lunch break exploring it.

  • Billygoat

    LOL @ Thi Chi!

    How about this...

    At the Watchtower study, instead of saying "shimmering city (lights)" you say "simmering shitty (lights)". Hahahahaha!

    Talk about being mortified!


  • slipnslidemaster

    That was a cool post roy. I used to explore our assembly hall too. I knew every inch of it except the stage area. I could never get back there.

    Slipnslidemaster:"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
    - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

  • teenyuck

    Roybatty-sorry for the delayed response-I had to shop!

    79th and Ashland was kind of cool. I enjoyed going up to the balcony. No one ever seemed to be up there. It was easy to fall asleep, eat, wander and just not pay attention. When we were forced to sit on the bottom floor, it was bad.

    The breaks were great. We (my sister and any cousins attending) would walk to the drug store at the end of the street. I had never seen Afro Cream before. There were always black people hanging around on the street, watching us. When I look back on it, 2-3 young, white girls wandering in the ghetto was not smart. The shop keeper was never too friendly. We would look at magazines and purchase gum.

    That cafeteria was horrible. Ate some chicken and got really sick.


    Once they built the new assembly hall in Janesville, Wisconsin, we never went back to 79th and Ashland. I was glad!

    When were you there? I got dunked in 1975.

    "I used to be Snow White, then I drifted." Mae West

  • AlanF

    When I was about 25 the PO decided to call about ten of the younger folks up to stand in front of the stage, facing the audience, songbooks in hand. We figured he was going to have us sing to the audience. After a bit of yakking, the guy had us open the songbooks to a particular page, then said, "Alan, I want you sing the song." I about shit a brick because my singing voice is pretty bad. For a second I thought I'd turn the tables on him and use my Dudley Dooright voice, but decided to play it straight. After one verse, he said, "See how bad that sounds? Now all of you young folks join in the next verse." After that was sung he said, "See how much better it sounds when everyone sings together?" I could have killed him.

    Once a brother who couldn't read well was reading for the Sunday Watchtower study. He came across the word "ewe" and pronounced it "Ee-wee", which set the audience roaring with laughter. (For those not familiar with this word, it's pronounced like "new" and means "female sheep".)

    Another time a brother was reading to the audience from the OT and came across a passage like, "the priest took some incense and put it on the brazier and burned it." He pronounced "brazier" like "brassiere", which made it sound like the priest was into bra-burning. The audience laughed for five minutes.

    I was often used as a Sunday Watchtower reader when I was in my late teens. One time the Watchtower article contained a lot of really hard words. After I pronounced a few of them properly the conductor, who didn't like me very much, commented to the audience about how well I was doing with the hard words. When he got to a particularly hard paragraph he said to the audience, "He'll never get this one!" and got a chuckle out of the audience. I read the paragraph just fine, and then looked over at him and smiled. He gave me a dirty look and the audience cracked up.


  • rhett

    This one didn't happen to me but to someone I knew.
    He was in elementry school at the time and was doing the bible reading talk. He was too short to reach the mike so he had to stand on a box. Apparently he didn't realize how small the box was. During his talk he took a small step backwards, started to fall, grabbed the podium, fell, took the podium down which hit the mike and took it down. Not only that but it was a small stage so on his way down he also he got caught in the curtain behind the stage and pulled it down too. From what I heard he just got up, walked to the bathroom, locked the door and stayed there until the meeting was over. This was also the same kid who had to have multiple operations because his window slammed shut while urinating out of it.

    I don't need to fight
    To prove I'm right
    I don't need to be forgiven.

  • terafera

    LMAO oh my God... I hope you guys are happy.. I've laughed so hard the tears streaked my mascara all over my face! I've gotta go redo my makeup now....

    All your stories are SO FUNNY!!! I need to print this thread and read it everyday! I will live to be 297!

    Alan, I can tell you that the guy who made you sing by yourself was a major A$$****! Poor thing... I woulda walked right off the stage.

    Makes me remember when they put me on the front stage when I was 5.. they didnt tell me what to say only to bring my Childrens Book of Bible Stories. Well, I was the youngest there and forgot to bring my book up. I was so nervous I flipped my dress up and down over my head. Everyone else was so serious and I kept smiling and flirting with the audience. My mom was horrified.

    Another time, when I was about 11, I was walking up to the stage for my talk and farted while I was going up the steps. I tried to pass it off on my friend, the householder, but it didnt work. The whole first 3 rows shook through the whole talk laughing. I was so embarrassed... especially when a sister had to 'remind' me of it afterward..

    Another time, at an assembly, age 9, I was wearing a pretty red dress that was very 'flouncy'. Many layers of ruffles. Well, I had been sitting for over 4 hours and it was very HOT. (This was July in Hawaii) When I stood to sing the song, I noticed my dress wasnt feeling right... it wasnt to my knees at all. I pulled it straight and felt some fabric pull out of my underwear in the back. I guess with the fidgeting I had done my butt became packed with the 'ruffles' of my dress. It turns out most of my dress managed its way in my crack and I kept pulling more and more out. I looked behind me to see if anyone noticed and there were about 20 people turning red with laughter.

    A black elder from the South was giving a talk on the stage about the proper way to dress for baptism. No bikinis and such.. he was supposed to say no thongs where you could see your 'backside' and he says no thongs where people can see your 'biscuits' hanging out. We all laughed so hard...

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    I got baptised.2 weeks later I got asked to pray on behalf of the congregation.
    Stepped to the podium...and froze in terror.

  • AlanF

    God, those are funny, rhett and terafera!

    The collapsing brother story reminded me of another one. One time this old, very animated sister was giving a student talk on the TM school. At one point she raised up in her seat and leaned forward, arms waving wildly, so that the microphone was just about touching her Adam's apple. The sound that came out of the loudspeakers sounded just like a duck quacking, so everybody started cracking up. Then the householder motioned to the old sister to look down at the mike. She looked down and whacked the mike so hard with her chin that the whole thing fell down. By this time the audience was really laughing and didn't stop until the woman got off the stage.


  • Mulan

    I embarrassed my husband when he was conducting the WT. He had on a new suit, and it had pocket flaps on the jacket. Well, one was tucked into the pocket and the other was out. It looked funny to me, so I was trying to signal him to fix it. He thought I was telling his fly was open. He almost killed me later.

    Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

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